Repair People not Understanding Sound Sensitivity.

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I had a huge meltdown yesterday because despite my mom telling the repair man I had Autism, his claiming to understand having a nephew with Autism who dislikes touch, he still made noise. I keep blaming myself for letting my guard down, seems I have to act stereotypically Autistic or people will assume because I can speak it must not matter. I should've had earplugs, or put on my headphones. All this because despite Autism being more well known no one seems to understand the simple equation that x stimuli can cause pain.

I just thought I'd ramble about it here and see if anyone can relate. I'm almost at a point of frustration to confronting them about it, but I fear more they'd reprimand or treat me like a child, which just triggers memories of being punished at school for not getting over my "sound phobia." I'm thinking of taking Valium before bed because the TV guy is coming tomorrow, I just feel so unsafe. I know work means noise but is it so hard to take a moment to let me know noise is coming. Then I feel how will I ever function, no one would want to be around someone who yells because of unexpected sounds.

On a better subject has anyone seen Pocoyo and the Space Circus? I found it on Amazon Instant Video and the circus aliens are the cutest things! Also when Pato litterally falls to pieces after being startled by the alien's spaceship it's funny.

wish I could have some valium anyways, when I was your age I would take my off-pitch tape recorders to the repair place and tell them to bring it back onto pitch, and usually had to fight with them to get it exactly on-pitch, they would put me off with "you can't hear any finer pitch differentiation than 3%" and "I could set it to spec but it would just drift off-key again" to which I would respond "I don't care, just DO IT, because I can hear the difference!"

How can a repair person not make noise?

Perhaps you can leave when the repair guy comes and be out of the house while he works or use noise cancelling phones if you have any or use ear plugs like you said. How come you couldn't use any that day?

I get where you're coming from-- even though I have to use power tools all the time, the noise drives me nuts.

Repair people can't exactly help making noise-- some of the stuff they have to do and the tools they have to use to do it are noisy and there's not much to be done about that. They have to do what they have to do, and they have to use the tools they need to get the job done.

You've learned what you need to know-- make sure you have earplugs or headphones or something handy. Go in another room and listen to something that doesn't bother you-- loudly. If all else fails, maybe next time you can plan to leave.

Don't feel bad-- you can't help the way you're wired any more than they can help their work being noisy. So this time you lost it-- I'm sure you tried not to, and next time you'll try again. That's life.

No offense but how is someone supposed to repair something without making noise? Also how are they going to predict every single time there will be a noise and say 'hey noise is going to happen' chances are they will be concentrating on the task at hand. Is it possible to maybe go outside and relax in your yard or something while the repairs go on or is it possible to maybe leave for a while till its over with? I mean I know in my house if there is going to be repairs or a bunch of noise I usually go elsewhere for the duration of it.

The noise is annoying but you can't expect a repair man to make no noise, or to let you know when any noise is coming, are you sitting in the same room as them because otherwise it would be extremely difficult for the repair to let you know even more difficult than if you are in the room.. You even said you should have put your headphones on. Could you not do that next time or go in your back garden.

It may have not occurred to you, but sometimes people just want understanding. I'm 32 years old, I know repairmen need to make noise. I just would like a warning before they do. However since the general consensus, on a board that is for Autism support, is I'm being unreasonable for being upset about the real pain I feel when I hear sudden loud noises. At least auntblabby empathized with me. Silly me thinking people on an Autism support forum would understand or appreciate sensory overload.

It's the notion that we must always blame ourselves for not accomodating others, rather than advocating that others should understand us is why I believe thes things keep happening. It takes all of a few seconds to let someone know you're about to use a drill. It feels like high school where I was told I just need to get over my sound phobia. I let my guard down, I believed this time they might understand. That posters here would understand. You can never let your guard down in a world where asking people to understand that loud sounds hurt you is such an inconvenience to everyone.

I have to depend on myself to survive this, because others will just betray my trust in understanding this. They will tell me make your sound sensitivity more convenient for me. It's your fault for failing to accomodate others noise. I've endured this all of my life, and it hurts to hear the same lack of compassion regarding this from other Autistic people who know hw his feels. I may as well have posted this to NTs.

violet, you are running up against a failure of TOM, don't take it personally. there are people out there who are ready and willing to accommodate. concentrate your attentions on those people.

I guess your right. I don't really care anymore.

I'm sorry don't let it deter you from finding nice people on WP

Why would being reminded that expecting others to understand my sound sensitivity and never finding that understanding outside my own family do that? I guess it's hard to appreciate being told time and time again your sensory sensitivity is unreasonable, and expecting others to understand is unrealistic. I might just stay away from here for awhile, being blamed for my sound sensitivity is toxic and only brings back truamatic memories.

please don't let people chase you from here, your voice is appreciated and wanted.

Thanks it's just I can barely think with all the stress Ive been through. I don't know what I expected when posting here. I should know by now its my fault for not protecting other people from hurting me. Its ridiculous to expect change or understanding from others. I've wondered why it's so wrong to believe in trusting others. Why it's my fault when others betray the trust I gave them. It's always my fault, I don't understand it. I try so hard to be good and not be a bother, all I ask for is understanding for this one thing.

I will listen to you. it seems unfortunately, that many of our fellow aspies can be pretty cold with us. we have to make a warmer world for ourselves.

Hi Violet, I don't think it's your fault. Perhaps you should have expected sound and used earplugs, however I know that in my life there's a lot of things I should do to prepare for difficult events but often I forget to do it and I go through something stressful that could have been easier if I'd prepared differently.

I think it's part of autism that sometimes we don't realise what we need to do or expect, we don't prepare then later what we should have done becomes blatantly obvious. Sorry you had to go through that

I'ts sad to see that you are hurt by this and good to see auntblabby's compassion .

I don't think the other posters were blaming you, though. This seems like one of those communications mismatches stereotyped as male/female: she just wants to be heard and some sympathy and sharing, he thinks the goal is to listen for the parameters of the problem and then propose actions to fix it.

The posters who seemed insensitive were just trying to help with practical advice.

I don't think looking for fault is helpful in this kind thing. It is not your fault and it is not the repair people's fault--it's just the way things are.

I hope you find a way to protect yourself from these sensory shocks/assaults and I hope you feel better and realize that people are not necessarily finding ad fault when they offer analysis instead of sympathy.