Unannounced visitors trigger an anxiety attack ??

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azzazinator
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28 Feb 2016, 7:44 pm

If someone is knocking on my door unannounced, it causes me to freeze,
and initiates a mild anxiety attack

I'm unable to go the door and even look through the peephole, and do not
move until I'm sure they are gone.

Same thing with phone calls.
I feel a little silly. Especially when I find out that is was the mailman with a package.


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Darmok
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28 Feb 2016, 7:49 pm

Remember what Dorothy Parker famously declared whenever the doorbell rang: "Oh! what fresh Hell can this be?"


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friedmacguffins
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28 Feb 2016, 7:58 pm

Also, when getting letters, in the mail. I am not indebted or a criminal. There is no reason to worry.



azzazinator
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28 Feb 2016, 8:06 pm

friedmacguffins wrote:
Also, when getting letters, in the mail. I am not indebted or a criminal. There is no reason to worry.


Oh yes ... I forgot letters ...
I'm not in debt either, or have never been in contact with the police ...'
... except one speeding ticket 15 years ago.


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MjrMajorMajor
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28 Feb 2016, 8:08 pm

Yup, same here. The unexpectedness and interruption just causes me to freeze/panic. Uninvited people in my house make it feel contaminated with their odd scents and social demands. :x



azzazinator
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28 Feb 2016, 8:19 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
Yup, same here. The unexpectedness and interruption just causes me to freeze/panic. Uninvited people in my house make it feel contaminated with their odd scents and social demands. :x


What about a sign on your door?

"You are now entering social nonsens free area
Violation is punished by a slow and painful death"

That ought to keep the bastards away ... :twisted:


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friedmacguffins
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28 Feb 2016, 8:23 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
odd scents and social demands. :x


That makes perfect sense, to me.

I am not in any physical danger, but it builds to feelings of terror.

My apologies, if I put other people through that.



friedmacguffins
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28 Feb 2016, 8:24 pm

azzazinator wrote:
"You are now entering social nonsens free area...

Quit picking up my stuff and moving it.



Uncle
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29 Feb 2016, 7:29 pm

No your not alone! when i lived on my own in my own house, i would also freeze when someone knocked at the door, my anxiety would go through the roof! and i would also freeze and hope they would just go away, same with phone calls! in the end i only made sure my family had my home number, that way i knew who was calling, as here we dont have caller id unless a paid for xtra... I also thought i was silly feeling this way, b ut seems know coming here i dont feel so silly or guilty as many individuals feel the same way, i think its just a sensory overload! i get a whole body rush... I have since sold house and rent with 3 other people, so when someone knocks at door i still get a little anxiety, but also know it probably isnt for me, and let someone else answer door! i live in a large house and so feel i have plenty of space, however i pretty much live in my bedroom and when flatmates have friends round i tend to avoid... Dont feel bad about it, its your body telling you you need your own time... go with the flow, but yes, a good suggestion is maybe to put something on your door... its also funny as when someone does knock and i freeze and hope they go away, im left feeling anxious and guilty afterwards, and wander who was knocking, its a catch 22... lol.... Also the other irony, is that i swear 2 of my flatmates are also on the spectrum, one i definitely know is, and the other im pretty sure, its funny as we have a large house but we all, vacate to our ""tombs"" (bedroom) to hide away from everyone... We all need alot of down time here, i think its the aspie radar attracting other aspies! lol, an in built detector so to speak... however this detector can attract undesirables from another spectrum, ie ASPD, and our old flatmate was very much on this spectrum, we evicted him in the end, and the house feels much calmer now!.... Am a total magnet for that spectrum!



SpaceAgeBushRanger
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29 Feb 2016, 8:47 pm

I get this, and it's bad because I have to live with my parents and they see nothing with barging into my room and talking nonsense to me. And if I show any sign of impatience, they act like I'm being rude. I can only really relax when I've got the house to myself.

Unknown calls and strangers knocking at the door don't bother me as much. I just ignore them until they go away. I don't care if it's awkward or inconvenient for them, if you're going to bother people in their houses you deserve whatever you get, and me ignoring them is a lot nicer than me telling them to go away.



azzazinator
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29 Feb 2016, 8:50 pm

Uncle wrote:
No your not alone! when i lived on my own in my own house, i would also freeze when someone knocked at the door, my anxiety would go through the roof! and i would also freeze and hope they would just go away, same with phone calls! in the end i only made sure my family had my home number, that way i knew who was calling, as here we dont have caller id unless a paid for xtra... I also thought i was silly feeling this way, b ut seems know coming here i dont feel so silly or guilty as many individuals feel the same way, i think its just a sensory overload! i get a whole body rush... I have since sold house and rent with 3 other people, so when someone knocks at door i still get a little anxiety, but also know it probably isnt for me, and let someone else answer door! i live in a large house and so feel i have plenty of space, however i pretty much live in my bedroom and when flatmates have friends round i tend to avoid... Dont feel bad about it, its your body telling you you need your own time... go with the flow, but yes, a good suggestion is maybe to put something on your door... its also funny as when someone does knock and i freeze and hope they go away, im left feeling anxious and guilty afterwards, and wander who was knocking, its a catch 22... lol.... Also the other irony, is that i swear 2 of my flatmates are also on the spectrum, one i definitely know is, and the other im pretty sure, its funny as we have a large house but we all, vacate to our ""tombs"" (bedroom) to hide away from everyone... We all need alot of down time here, i think its the aspie radar attracting other aspies! lol, an in built detector so to speak... however this detector can attract undesirables from another spectrum, ie ASPD, and our old flatmate was very much on this spectrum, we evicted him in the end, and the house feels much calmer now!.... Am a total magnet for that spectrum!


Oh my... it's almost creepy how your description fill in the blanks that I didn't mention or didn't think about.

Your house sounds almost like I picture Heaven to be like ... :D
.. if not for the distance, I would apply for a place in Heaven right now...

I'm reminded about the catch 22 once in a while. Especially when it was just the mailman with a parcel,
and I have to go to the post office to pick it up.....

The guilty feeling, as if it is a law, that you HAVE to answer the door!!
Like when beeing almost questioned by someone, as why you didn't answer the phone.

Until a few years ago when diagnosed, I had to come up with a bunch of reasons, as why I didn't answer the phone, just to make people happy... And I hated it so much, that I considered not have a phone at all, or just letting people know that I didn't anymore, but I realized, that it would probably just make them ask even more questions.

Now, I tell people to only call once. And if I don't answer, then it's because I need alonetime, or that I'm otherwise engaged, and that I'll call back when mentally available. And no!, I can't answer the phone and tell you that I can't answer the phone! (Someone actually thought that I could do that ??! !!.... ) .In case of emergency, then text me!
And if I don't call back within 3 days, then you may text me too to make sure I'm allright. I don't know what people think, but I don't care anymore. If they do not understand, they are free to ask as many questions as they like.

At the moment, someone who has been told 2 times already is violation that agreement again , by calling me multiple times. Even though the right thing to do is to answer the phone, and tell him that I don't care if my rules are silly to him... It is my rules, and the matter is NOT open to discussion. I feel violated and as he is forcing me to do what he wants. I've been forced my whole life (by not being ably to say no, or just cave in and suffer ). I'm just not able to answer, and won't be until the forcing is stopped.


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Jacoby
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29 Feb 2016, 8:53 pm

I hate it as well, my heart jumps when I hear someone knock at my door which is why I instruct them to knock with some "soul" if you know what I mean so I know it's not the cops or my landlord or whoever. I do not like unexpected visitors, I like to prepare myself and am uncomfortable the entire time otherwise.



ZombieBrideXD
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29 Feb 2016, 9:01 pm

all i ever see is family; aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces nefews you know.. no one i dont know ever comes to the house. Im always happy to see my family but it takes a lot out of me to entertain and make small talk. More than a half hour and ill shut down.


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azzazinator
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29 Feb 2016, 9:04 pm

Jacoby wrote:
I hate it as well, my heart jumps when I hear someone knock at my door which is why I instruct them to knock with some "soul" if you know what I mean so I know it's not the cops or my landlord or whoever. I do not like unexpected visitors, I like to prepare myself and am uncomfortable the entire time otherwise.


SpaceAgeBushRanger wrote:
I get this, and it's bad because I have to live with my parents and they see nothing with barging into my room and talking nonsense to me. And if I show any sign of impatience, they act like I'm being rude. I can only really relax when I've got the house to myself.


If Hell exists, It will be like that.
Except that you can expect someone to barge into your room 24 hours a day, for eternity ....


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SpaceAgeBushRanger
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29 Feb 2016, 9:16 pm

It gets better! There's a long wooden hallway next to my room, and my parents sound as loud as baby elephants whenever they waddle down it. So I'm constantly tense and vigilant, expecting them to annoy me at any minute.