I feel like a Zombie/Medication and sexuality

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For the past 10 years of my 20 years on this planet I have taken Sertraline. I used to take it for Tourettes and a bunch of anxiety issues but eventually just anxiety issues which I'm currently plagued with.

Although this medication makes me "feel good" it probably doesn't do me any good in the long run.

You see, I don't know what my sexuality actually is. I know I'm not gay, so I must either be straight or asexual. Apparently Zoloft/Sertraline decreases libido in males and apparently people with AS have lowered Libido already (so I'm told), etc.

I've look at women whenever I see an attractive one but I can never be arsed to actually talk to them for a few reasons. a) I don't feel it "down there", b) I don't like my body, etc. I have certain fetishes but I'm attracted to the FETISH, not the actual person. I'm trying to get off my meds to see what my libido is like normally and I'm wondering if anybody else is in the same rut.

I just want my sexuality to be set in stone. I don't want this s**t lingering in my mind any longer. If I'm asexual, I just want it diagnosed.

Bump

Sounds awful.

I'm so sorry to hear about your problems. I suffer but anxiety too but have coped well with 'just' antidepressants. The modern SSRIs seem to be very mild even in high doses, in that they don't zombify you like other psych drugs, and I have never had any side effects myself.

Could you ask your doctor to change to antidepressants? They help massively with anxiety too, and make sure you get something in the line of modern SSRIs instead of some other antideps with more severe side effects. SSRIs are also in Europe and Australia licensed for panic disorder, which is basically just a culmination of anxiety, right? I believe depression and anxiety go hand in hand, and my SSRIs have massively cured me from both, without making me an emotionless robot.

Another thing to think about is lifestyle changes. I have personally found that these things help my anxieties hugely (so much so that I have during this autumn cut down my SSRI dose by a whopping 25%)

- meditating 5-30 minutes a DAY (has to be regular; even 5 minutes is powerful when you do it daily) (tip: if you want some quick beginner meditations and do not feel put off by their spiritual/new age connotations, get the free 5 min meditations from http://www.orindaben.com/pages/rooms/or ... tion_room/ - and just do one daily. They have a few on peace and thus anti-anxiety so might be worth doing those to begin with)

- exercise; any kind; it really does help, just like everybody says

- listening to youtube free recordings of .. I don't know the better word for this but put 'anxiety brainwave' or 'anxiety frequency' on youtube search and listen (via headphones~) to those amazingly calming weird sounds; they really do make a huge difference.

- Rescue Remedy the herbal drug. I, like most smart people, was quite anti-homeopathy but I found an unused bottle of rescue remedy early this week that I had bought years ago when pregnant & scared of giving birth. Started using it daily and boy does it make a difference. I literally feel less anxious instantly and it lasts for a long time, and all you do is take 4 drops on tongue 4 times a day. If it is placebo I don't care, the whole point of the placebo effect is that it WORKS, otherwise it's not placebo (something that's easy for the sceptic mind to forget)

- chamomile and lavender teas. Drinking them works. I kick myself for living so long without giving these herbal remedies a chance, as this might just be what gets me off of antidepressants for life at some point.

Take care of yourself. PM me if you like.

EDIT p.s. I don't believe you're asexual. I have sometimes thought I am asexual but it has always turned out in retrospect that I was either in deep depression (anhedonia - literally, no pleasure) or taking too strong a dose of SSRIs. Or just mega anxious. Sex makes me really anxious but as a female I have learned to mask this and I know how to play the game and pretend I'm aroused, although with my current long term spouse (husband) this has been much better especially recently, when I took up all these lifestyle changes. In short, I have no doubt that your (and everyone else's) sex drive is inextricably linked to whatever else is going on in you. It is not a separate entity. When anxious, depressed or drugged up, it would be rather abnormal if you did still have a sex drive!

p.p.s. You say you're 20 and been on meds for 10 years. JEEZ. Who the f**k would put a 10 year old kid on dangerous drugs. This horrifies me. Are you from the US? As I hear it happens a lot there. Get the f**k off the meds and start to discover who you really are. No 10 year old kid should be put on meds due to anxiety/panic -- it should be investigated what's going on at home and at school. If you were that anxious at age 10 I can bet that you were either bullied, or your parents were inattentive/abusive, or both. This makes me so angry.

However you're so young and you can absolutely start to have a great life from now on. Also, I forgot to mention, do go and see a therapist. Weekly or twice a week to begin with. CBT is helpful, google it if you don't know.

Well I'm not a ZOMBIE persay. Just sexually. Other than that I'm fine. I needed to clarify I'm sorry. I am on a modern anti-depressant.

I'm from Canada. According to my mother I was put on Sertraline 10 years ago because of my Tourettes and excessive handwashing + looping thoughts. I guess it got so bad to the point where they were willing to put me on medication to stop it. They researched it and it calmed me down. To this day I still take it.

I can't believe this thread has over 100 views and only 1 person I replied. Surely there must be many people with this problem.

Hi OP,

just wondering how you're getting on...

All the best!

Try posting the topic differently or in a different sub forum. Sometimes they take off and sometimes they don't.

Anyway, it sounds like you had some obsessive behaviour that is now under control. At your age and with the symptoms you mention, I think you should talk to your doctor about going off them. See what happens.

Some people just have fetishes--it doesn't mean there's necessarily anything wrong with you. It's not uncommon for fetishes to be used in conjunction with "regular" intercourse.

Whatever turns you on--as long as you don't harm anybody, or anybody harms you.

If you go to certain forums, you'll find people who are "shoe fetishists" and such.