Dealing with "mercenary" people

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As an anonymous wise man once said, "A fool and his money are soon parted".
But I'd rather that not be you or I so I opened this thread to discuss how to deal with people who ask for money in exchange for betterment services, which may well be false or exaggerated promises. This is something that I've occasionally run into, where these mercenary types - financial predators - may pick up on your desperation to improve some aspect of your syndrome and bilk you out of cash.

And let's face it, if the stats are right about 85% of us being chronically unemployed or underemployed, then on the average, we're better off not accepting any paid improvement services from these mercenaries. I can say the same for parents; don't shell out your hard-earned cash on behavioural counsellors or specialists who have questionable credentials, or assist your adult autistic children in this way, for that mater.

I can recount three mercenary incidents from my own experience:

1. At the age of 20, I was desperate to know how to "pick up chicks". This one guy who we'll call Joe, who was very plain looking and on the skinny side, was able to get very pretty young women easily, I saw him with quite a few over time. I asked him his secret, and he said for $20 he'd tell me the secret. I refused, suspecting that he'd take me for a fool and give me false advice - we'll never know! Not to mention, $20 was a sizeable sum as a poor student.

2. One time I went to a dianetics-like forum that was advertised on some bulletin board, and they tried to hook me into their "cult" of self-improvement, and could revolutionize my life for $$$ etc...etc... these kooks made claims like modern anti-depressants do more harm than good, and even claimed that the Columbine killers did what they did because they were on Prozac

3. A couple of years ago, I went to my local gym where I was a member, and asked for coaching on running & fast walking technique, because my wife told me I run funny (still!) and I wanted to improve that to an NT's appearance of running. When I asked the fitness trainer if he knew anything of Aspergers he said "yeah, I know a thing or two about it" in a rather casual way. Then he wanted to charge me $60 per hour for running technique, and wanted to put me on a plan...I tried to negotiate with him, but let's just say HE was the black-and-white thinker on this one so I let it drop, I wasn't desperate.

Luckily, I am in Canada where psychiatric services are covered free (well, OK, under taxes) so I can't be bamboozled there. Of course, that doesn't guarantee the quality of their service. I do question any "second tier" mercenary health providers for mental health services, allowing those with more means to "jump the queue" - just like I question them for non-mental health services. About a decade ago, there was a fake doctor in Ontario who ran a paid oncology clinic for dying cancer patients - he fooled them with fake certificates on his wall and the whole nine yards - then took them in with phony treatments when they were suffering and dying (a real sociopath, yes). So best advice, think twice if you feel desperate and you and/or your family want to shell out many dollars for a scam. We Aspies are bait enough for scams and false promises as it is, regrettably.

It depends on which side of the merc ticket you're on.

If you're the fool being parted from his money, then it's bad.

If you're the person parting the fool from his money, then it's good.

I've been on both sides, and I can tell you from experience that being the mercenary is far better than being the fool.

A total stranger approached me crying in the street once. She was a young mother whose car had been illegally towed away and she had no money to pay to get it back, and couldn't pick up her children some miles away. She asked me - begged me - to lend her the money (which was reasonably sizeable). I took her to the towed away car centre and paid the fee to release her car. She thanked me and I drove away pretty sure I would never see that money again. A week later it arrived in the post from her, with a lovely letter of gratitude. So you never know..

I've been on the receiving end of the kindness of strangers, and it is a transforming experience. The most notable event was many many decades ago when I was a young, sick runaway with no money apart from 5c. I knew I was ill but I was on a ship heading for Australia and knew that you had to pay to see the ship's doctor - so I just stayed in my bunk, struggling to breathe. I thought it was asthma, though it was actually pneumonia. Someone who didn't even know me - they had just noticed when we were sailing from port that I was young, alone, shivering in the cold air, didn't look well, and then disappeared - he and his wife looked out for me in the dining areas and noticed I didn't show up there. He made inquiries, paid the ship's doctor in advance, arranged for warm clothing and food to be delivered to my bunk, and kept on at the doctor to monitor me. After 3 days I was able to go up on deck and find them and thank them.

Their generosity seriously embarrassed me as I knew I had no way of paying it back at the time and I felt very guilty. They asked were I would be staying and I gave them an evasive answer.

Nevertheless after we docked they contacted the shipping company (you had to leave an address on immigration) and delivered a lot of money in an envelope to where I was staying, anonymously. I guessed it was them, and it was. I tracked them and returned it. By then I had a job, and people were letting me stay with them for free meantime.

That was in 1966. We are still friends half a century later. They really saved me with their generosity and kindness - not just financially but in a soul sense too - I discovered that there were good people in the world, and at that time, that had not been my experience (which is why I was running away to a new country as a teen ager, alone). The kindness of strangers can change lives...

Awhile back while waiting for the bus a guy was asking for change to pay his way on the bus because he was a recovering alcoholic. I didn't give him anything & then he mentioned that he would smoke some weed later. He should save his money for his bus fair instead of using it to get weed. He got in through the back door on the bus without paying. I'm glad I didn't give him anything. I never give money to people who ask/beg while I'm out for reasons like that & because I'm on disability & don't have a lot of money to spare.