NT's and Competition compared to Autistic people.

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BlueYellowBrownGreen
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03 Feb 2015, 7:11 pm

Any thoughts on the topic?

I don't think autistic people are that competitive towards others; we compete with ourselves. For example, I have had very pretty friends and I didn't dislike them or even compare myself to them. But I noticed they'd start competing with me and would be furious if anyone noticed me. I don't like competition. I don't want their stuff; I just want my stuff.



GreatAlli
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03 Feb 2015, 8:08 pm

I don't think you can make broad generalizations when it comes to these kinds of things. I know competitive NTs and autistics; I know NTs and autistics that are not competitive.



corroonb
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03 Feb 2015, 8:14 pm

This sounds like social competition. They want to be the top dog and they see you as a threat. NTs are obsessed with social status and they spend a lot of time and resources competiting with one another for some nebulous, immeasurable goal. Jewellery, expensive cars, designer clothes are all ways to advertise higher status.

I don't get it either. Some people are very insecure. Perhaps they want your stuff? Is your stuff good?

Some people who are status obsessed get quite annoyed when I don't act impressed by their "stuff". I think it's vulgar and shallow but I think that isn't the expected response. I'm supposed to be impressed by their disposable income and good taste. I'm not.

This was a broad generalisation. Thank you for reading. It.



kraftiekortie
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03 Feb 2015, 8:25 pm

I have NO ambition to acquire THINGS. All I need, really, is a comfortable bed, a TV, a computer, and maybe a friend.

I do have ambition to learn things, teach people, and to be good at what I do.

I also like to win when I'm playing a sport or a game.



iammaz
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03 Feb 2015, 10:11 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I have NO ambition to acquire THINGS. All I need, really, is a comfortable bed, a TV, a computer, and maybe a friend.

I do have ambition to learn things, teach people, and to be good at what I do.

I also like to win when I'm playing a sport or a game.


Ditto on the ambition to learn and teach. It's amazing how many THINGS you can accidentally acquire just by doing something you enjoy. I have noticed other people getting jealous / thinking there is some competition going on because you have THINGS they desire, but if you attempt to just give them away it is somehow an insult.
Go figure.
:)



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03 Feb 2015, 10:35 pm

I think that "learned helplessness" afflicts more people on the spectrum than NTs. It stops some competing in the job market (particularly) which is very concerning. "Learned optimism" is the antithesis and would like to see more of it here sometimes.. it isn't easy to break out of learned helplessness by yourself; a good counsellor can be very important in breaking that mindset.



kraftiekortie
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03 Feb 2015, 10:50 pm

I wholeheartedly agree with B19!



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03 Feb 2015, 11:13 pm

I see social competition as a Bad Thing, mostly. This guy's ideas resound with me quite well:
http://www.charleswarner.us/articles/competit.htm

But I have no ethical problem with:
1. Competing against enemies (i.e. people who compete against me in order to enrich themselves, materially or emotionally, at my expense, especially when they already have more than I do).
2. Taking part in a friendly competitive game purely for fun, to improve our performance, or to find out how skilled we are.

I hate competitive debates where one party tries to make their opinion look more valid than the other's regardless of the actual validity of the opinions. I like to discuss things co-operatively with other people so that we all get closer to the truth. Kind of a "this is my opinion, these are my reasons for holding it, but I could be wrong, and I'm willing to sit back and hear your views." Good scientists do that all the time. But I don't mind a debating society so much, because that's a friendly game, and if it's going right, nobody is trying to pretend that they're being completely sincere. I particularly hate it when politicians debate issues, because they always pretend sincerity and they hardly ever admit to the slightest possibility that they they could be wrong.

I hate free-market doctrines that worship competition. I don't want a "competitively-priced" item, I want a fairly-priced item. To my mind, "successful" business people (i.e. the rich ones) don't make money, they take money - from somebody else.

I don't know if it's a particularly Aspie thing, but we tend to be pathologically honest, which I would think might make it difficult for us to be competitive, and if we've been bullied and made into underdogs a lot, we might prefer a gentler, noncompetitive society. A poll might be illuminating. I've been unable to find out the proportion of the general population who prefer competition, but I found this paper
http://web.stanford.edu/~niederle/Niede ... E.2007.pdf
which suggests it's 73% for men and 35% for women (which perhaps validates the commonly-expressed female view that most men are bastards). The average is then (I suppose) around 54%. All very tentative though.



olympiadis
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04 Feb 2015, 2:19 am

BlueYellowBrownGreen wrote:
Any thoughts on the topic?

I don't think autistic people are that competitive towards others; we compete with ourselves. For example, I have had very pretty friends and I didn't dislike them or even compare myself to them. But I noticed they'd start competing with me and would be furious if anyone noticed me. I don't like competition. I don't want their stuff; I just want my stuff.


I agree with you.



olympiadis
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04 Feb 2015, 2:22 am

B19 wrote:
I think that "learned helplessness" afflicts more people on the spectrum than NTs. It stops some competing in the job market (particularly) which is very concerning. "Learned optimism" is the antithesis and would like to see more of it here sometimes.. it isn't easy to break out of learned helplessness by yourself; a good counsellor can be very important in breaking that mindset.


I think you're right about this, and I probably need the counseling.



ImAnAspie
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04 Feb 2015, 8:40 am

BlueYellowBrownGreen wrote:
Any thoughts on the topic?

I don't think autistic people are that competitive towards others; we compete with ourselves. For example, I have had very pretty friends and I didn't dislike them or even compare myself to them. But I noticed they'd start competing with me and would be furious if anyone noticed me. I don't like competition. I don't want their stuff; I just want my stuff.


You may be right. I don't have a competitive bone in my body. Never have and it's strange you asked this question.

I've seen others who are competitive and never understood it but after you asking your question, you got me thinking, "why am I not competitive?"

0) I don't compete with myself.

I don't compete with others and I think the reasons for that are:
1) I'm happy just cruising along in my own world that I don't care what they're doing;
2) I don't care enough about them to even compete at anything. I don't care what they do. I don't care who's the winner;
3) I just want myself. I hate them now and I couldn't give a S#!T what they do or achieve or win at. I just want them all to go away. They're scum and I don't compete with bacteria!


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Campin_Cat
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04 Feb 2015, 8:59 am

I compete with myself----always trying to be better, do better, act better, think better, etc.----but, I don't compete with other people.













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darkphantomx1
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04 Feb 2015, 9:11 am

Are you kidding me?! Hell no. I am competitive and possibly too much. I hate to lose, I just don't like the feeling of losing. Sometimes when I do lose a game, I may throw or kick something. Maybe a wall or something. It helps me vent my frustration. And I do like to compete against other people.



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04 Feb 2015, 10:42 am

corroonb wrote:
Some people who are status obsessed get quite annoyed when I don't act impressed by their "stuff". I think it's vulgar and shallow but I think that isn't the expected response. I'm supposed to be impressed by their disposable income and good taste. I'm not.


My sentiments exactly.


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04 Feb 2015, 10:48 am

I enjoy a little skills-based competition, as long as it's kept friendly.

It's when my opponents take the competition so seriously that they cheat, insist on special rules, or over-react to the outcome (win or lose) that takes all the fun out of competing.

But yes, I tend to compete more with my own past performance than with the performance of others. This has the benefit of putting me on a constant program of self-improvement, while those who compete with others tend to settle for merely being better than everyone else (until someone even better comes along, then it starts all over).


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BlueYellowBrownGreen
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04 Feb 2015, 1:02 pm

I didn't mean to make a sweeping generalization-that wasn't my intention. I think I am talking more about social competition. I do feel competitive when playing a game like scrabble but I don't want to steal someone's job or possessions. I don't covet what they have though I may think some of the stuff is cool (like a certain car that is cool looking or something). But I don't hate them for it.


I am more interested in what a person has done and what they've learned.