Openly autistic

Post Reply New Topic

I am autistic, of course. I have trouble in many areas, the biggest being independence skills. Also, I am openly autistic.

I tell people I am autistic. I told a whole college class my diagnosis. How did people receive me? I was received well, and continue to be received well the vast majority of times.

I tell a lot of people, in fact.

I feel many of our problems as aspies would be eliminated if we were just more open about our autism. I have shared on my Facebook page that I am on the spectrum. My username here is my real first name and last initial. Nobody has treated me poorly...Sure, people talk to me like I'm a little kid oftentimes, but I like that in fact.

See, I don't have a choice. Most of the time NTs can tell that I have some sort of developmental disability, unless they are in denial. I can't just hide it as a secret. Everyone can tell, and that makes me feel safe.

Anyone else here as open as I am?

It depends on you and the people you're dealing with.

Very high functioning autistics like myself tend to be mistaken for "difficult" or "excuse makers", because outwardly we appear to function well, yet we have this uncanny valley kind of effect on people, or "Mark of Cain" as I like to call it.

With a very low functioning autistic, it will be more visible and peoples empathy might be stimulated to a higher degree, so they're probably more inclined to feel sympathy that with someone who appears to function outwardly, but who is struggling with sensory overload, misunderstandings and terrible anxiety inwardly.

But again, it depends on the people you're dealing with. Some people are attracted to such symptoms as an excuse to be cruel. To them, a lower functioning autistic might be a more desirable target for bullying.

I had varied success with "coming out". It helps if you've known people a while first so they have a general impression of how you are as a person. Then, they won't view you through the autism lens as much as if you tell them right of the bat. Then they might have the stereotype in mind and start seeing things about you that are not really there, you know? Stereotypes and all that. "Oh, so you're like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, huh?" , or "Aspergers, huh? Isn't that what the school shooters have in common?". Things like that are stereotypes. If you get to know people well enough first that they have a good impression of who you are and what you're like, coming out of the autism closet is less likely to make them stereotype you. But again, it depends on who you are dealing with. YMMV.

No, especially since I'm not diagnosed and therefore remain uncertain. I don't think I would anyway since I think people simply consider me a bit odd and that's fine with me. It would feel too private to share with anyone but one person. Nonetheless, I think it's great that others do in order to build down negative and one-folded associations.

By the way, cool name. Reminds me of someone I admire.

Being open about it just makes you open to bullying and harassment in my experience.

I'm a HFA/Aspie/AS person. Being an Aspie with decades of learned workarounds and adaptations - yet still very much on the spectrum - I realize that I have a certain small amount of passing privilege in some situations and environments compared to someone with a lower functional level. So I don't make any effort to hide that I'm AS, and will mention it anytime it is relevant to the conversation and try to educate and familiarize when I can. Shame can do amazing amounts of damage to individuals and groups, shame that is both self induced and thrown at us from others. The more of us that are out, the more familiar people will be with us instead of them only knowing about the "most obvious" instances (which they often perceive as negative) or people in the news who also happen to be AS (again, typically negative).

Yes, it does. Mostly because we are seen as "other" instead of part of the human spectrum. More familiarity - when possible and safe - goes a long way toward preventing that, someday.

My family knows, and they're the only people I socialize with anyway, so I'm grateful I don't have to 'pretend to be NT', aside from very simple conversations with random strangers now and then.

I think if I were to have a job I would just try to pass for shy and introverted - focus on doing my work, and don't talk to anyone enough for them to figure me out.

I wouldn't be so open about it, but unfortunately, I believe my parents have already outed me to my family. My dad in particular tends to out me as disabled a good deal. I don't have a choice in the manner.

I don't disclose at work.

I don't disclose to most people.

People tend not to think I'm autistic if I tell them.

I'm seen as being weird/eccentric.

I don't, generally, as it either makes other people uncomfortable, causes them to start treating me as if I'm intellectually disabled which I am not, or give the typical responses to that statement that annoy me. I'll usually only disclose it if an affect of me being autistic is already coming into play in the interaction, and clarifying why this is happening would be useful for understanding in the situation. I'm already "other" enough in too many ways, I don't want to go pointing out another way in which I am different from everyone else.

In real life my autism is pretty blatantly obvious However on the teen forum I joined a couple of years ago, it was not. It was suggested by my occupational therapist that I not mention it unless necessary. However I was very open about it right away. And I have always been treated extremely well by my NT peers all throughout my 2+ years and 18,500 posts there.They often thank me for what I have taught them about autism

With a few notable exceptions, usually involving medical/mental health professionals and once an individual who was going to take advantage of me no matter what I did, disclosure has generally gone well for me.

It's not something I'm going to be doing a lot of, though. At this time and in this place, silence is safer.

Regardless of WHAT that does to my stress level, or how difficult and unpleasant it makes socializing for me.

Pretty much what I was going to write; I've had very positive results with disclosing after a short "introductory" period, just so, like you said, I'm not viewed through an autistic lens before someone gets to know me a bit. I was diagnosed in my mid 20s and am very high functioning, so I had adapted fairly well before ever knowing that I was autistic, and so the signs can be pretty subtle with me, until I freeze up trying to pick a restaurant to go to or can't handle a certain type of loud environment, and I have to explain why I'm having the problem. The secret is to never use it as an excuse for something, only to explain why I may be having a difficulty, and how I'm working around it. Really though, my experience has been very good with being out, and whenever someone does make a misstep, it's an excellent opportunity for me to educate someone about AS spectrum disorders.

Do the potentially damaging aspects of shame not occur to you when you use it as a weapon during disagreements, or is it more of an ends justify the means thing for you?



100% Agreed. Interestingly enough, there is a similar dynamic at play in the gun rights advocacy that I do, in that I'm part of a culture that is often maligned by and to people who don't realize that the people they're demonizing are commonly their friends and neighbors and they just don't know it, and I think their attitudes would change if they were aware of that fact. Being open allows me both as an Aspie and a gun owner to serve as a living counterargument to many of the stereotypes, and to me, that's a valuable service that I'm proud to perform.

I'm open about it online but not offline because where I'm from people have no clue what it is or think of it as a less sever form of mental retardation. Even the so-called "experts thought that & said I communicated too well verbally & seemed too intelligent to have anything on the spectrum. I see no reason to tell people offline who won't believe me or would talk down to me.