Why do I get depressed when people say ''sshh'' to me?

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Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 18,682
Location: Maidstone, UK

12 Aug 2015, 2:27 pm

Or when they put their finger to their lips as a non-verbal way of going sshh? Sometimes people do it for no reason. But when people do it, I seem to feel stupid, and I go all depressed, and I analyze the small situation over and over in my head, and feel like a depression-type feeling and not feel like talking for a while. I don't make it obvious to the other person that I'm feeling this way though. It's just something that I feel inwardly.

Sometimes my boyfriend randomly puts his finger to his lips to say ''sshh'' even though I don't know why, as I'm not being loud or saying inappropriate stuff. Like last night we were at the cinema and were quite early so we sat in the movie theater before anything was displayed on the screen, even the trailers. There was a few other couples too, but were sitting nowhere near us, and they were just talking among themselves. So were me and my boyfriend. He asked if I was coming to his at this week-end, and I just said ''I'm not sure yet, it depends on how early or late I finish my shift''. And he then put his finger to his lips nervously as if I was being loud or embarrassing or something. I was talking very quietly, in a murmur-y sort of voice, (almost a whisper but not quite, but very, very quietly), and what I was saying wasn't strange or inappropriate. And I know I was talking very quietly because I'm a shy person, so when I'm in a quiet environment, my voice goes very quiet, subconsciously. And nobody was listening anyway, as they weren't sitting anywhere near us, and they were talking to each other anyway. And it's not like my boyfriend wanted to stop talking, because after about 5 seconds, he began talking again.

I don't know if it's a habit of some people, but I don't see why people imply ''sshh'' for no reason. And I hate that condescending feeling it gives me. It doesn't make me feel normal. But I didn't like to ask why my boyfriend why he shushed me for no reason, because I don't want to protest over something that's probably trivial to other people. I'm trying to get out of my old habits now that I'm in a relationship, but it still bugs me inside.

Ironically, I'd rather be told to shut up than people to go ''sshh'' to me. But I can't tell people that, because who else really gets offended when somebody goes ''sshh'' or puts their finger to their lips? :roll:

Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)


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Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 407
Location: England

12 Aug 2015, 2:43 pm

I don't like it when people shh me.My husband knows that, and plays it against me when I'm in my worst mood. Like if I'm having a a meltdown what involve yelling and shouting he goes sssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just to intentionally annoy me further. BEst you don't tell anyone how you feel about these small things because some people don't take it seriously because its so trivial to them, while others might start to feel awkward around you because they know you get upset over little things what wouldnt bother them at all.. And I don't know why your bf would shh you for no reason, perhaps hes nervous maybe or it his way of ending a conversation abruptly. I dontt know, people have their strange ways just like autistic people. :)