My mother says i dont have aspergers?

Post Reply New Topic

Hello.
My mother says "i have a min-version of aspergers, but not aspergers" and doesn't see any point in me being diagnosed (or at last getting tested/assessed). And i just feel like it actually might be aspergers, lately i have been wondering, but idk i just do struggle socially but i dont know if i struggle "enough". I feel like my mothers idea of someone with aspergers is a 12 year old boy who does nothing but sits in his room memorizing bus schedules. And i just feel like i wanna know if i actually have it or not. But she says i dont.
Should i just assume she is correct and that i am actually not autistic, or should i get assessed (PS i am 15 and still live with her, so she decides if i get assessed or not). Like should i trust her and just forget the whole autism/aspergers/asd thing??
I really dont know what to do since i have taken online tests (many different ones, which have all indicted that i have it and should get it checked with a doctor, but they can be wrong).
I feel like i would at least be borderline autistic (/aspergers).
I think i will just tell her i want to get tested, and if the answer is negative, its negative, but i just would really like to know.

I do think it's worth getting tested. At least then you'll know. You met the criteria in the past for an ASD so I don't see why you wouldn't now. Finding out for sure would definitely put your mind at rest, whatever the result. Maybe you no longer fit the criteria. Only the psychologist will be able to tell you.

it might be worthwhile to get things like therapy concentrating on improving social skills, coping with sensory issues, and emotional issues that come up. A diagnosis could help with getting accommodations in high school and university (such as a note-taker if you have issues understanding verbal instructions, getting extra time to take tests if you have slow processing speed, printing paperwork on colored paper if you have Irlen Syndrome). You can also get accommodations at work, although some people have reported discrimination, so consider carefully how much you want to tell others.

Even if you don't meet the criteria, there might be issues you want to work on with counseling (social skills, etc.).

Is your mom a qualified, certified assessor/tester for Asperger's?

If not, you may be an Aspie. The only way to find out is to be examined and tested by someone who is qualified. Far too many people think they are qualified to "diagnose" others for anything from physical maladies to mental illnesses to simply being a normal - but unusual - variation of humanity. All based on whatever they've soaked up from pop culture, which I've found over the years is a lousy way to educate people.

I agree with the above suggestion that your mom isn't qualified to say you're not on the autism spectrum.

Her idea that you're 'just a little Aspie-like' is foolish and uninformed.

Does she understand that a person can be high functioning, and that even Aspies vary in how close to Neuro-Typical they are?

Why has the whole issue of Asperger's come up? Do YOU think you're on the spectrum? Did a doctor say you appeared to be?

If you're not truly diagnosed, but it's been suggested you are an Aspie, you should be checked out.

Now I'm going to make a side comment that may be unpopular-
I notice that you've posted twice about two related matters...your parents...in a short time.
It likely would have been best to make one post and talk about both things, so there'd be only one thread for you to keep track of.

If there is a particular reason to get assessed like needing school support, you can bring it up to your mother and see if she agrees to get you assessed.

Why was your PDD-NOS diagnosis removed? Was it that you adapted enough not to meet criteria, or did the psychs think it was wrong to begin with?

if your mom nixes a diagnosis now, it's only a few years until you are 18 and can get diagnosed on your own.

Ish. When i was evaluated for a bunch of things the doctor wrote in his report that my social diffuculties could be from high finctioning autism. No she is not qualified to diagnose anyone. I do not think her idea of aspergers has been "updated" in a while.
And my therapist says i dont have it but she isnt an expert on the subject (or qualified to diagnose it).

I'm pretty sure any doctor can diagnose autism. Certain organizations have restrictive criteria for who qualifies for services for autism. I suppose some doctors who write reports about children might not be qualified, but generally the doctors who write reports that you'd get are the pediatric neurologists, developmental pediatricians, psychologists, psychiatrists and they should all have some special training. Though seems like we're in a phase where a lot of diagnosing gets done using surveys and ados's and I'm not sure that's any more scientific or better.

Your signature says you were previously diagnosed with PDD-NOS, but the diagnosis was removed. You can't have it at one point and then not have it at another point in your life. So I think that alone is a sign that it would be worthwhile to continue to look into an ASD diagnosis.

Also, it seems like your mom might be somewhat confused about the diagnosis categories. She might be thinking that PDD-NOS is "a mini version of Aspergers", but that's not really how it works. Many with PDD-NOS are still severely impaired by it, and both it and Asperger's are officially part of the autism spectrum.

Keep in mind that the online tests are a really blunt instrument. There are a high percentage NTs who score positively on them and a high percentage of autistics who score negatively on them. I think the bigger flag here is your previous PDD-NOS diagnosis. But yeah, all signs would seem point to pursuing a diagnosis, IMO.

That happens, but be aware that the diagnosis process can be very difficult for those of us on the borderline between clinical and not clinical. Doctors and psychologists tend to diagnose on the basis of whether or not they think you need clinical support, not for reasons of self identification or validation. If people tend to treat you as NT, be careful to pick a psychologist experienced with ASD who's going to be able to see past that to whether or not you're really struggling.

Unfortunately, since you're a minor your options are pretty limited right now. You might just have to wait until you're 18 unless you can convince your mother it's otherwise important. Also, you might want to bear in mind that ASD evaluations can be very expensive and rarely covered by insurance. If you're not going to be using a diagnosis for any sort of accommodations in school she might be looking at it as a pointless expense, regardless of how much personal validation it brings you.

If I may expand on that, a bit?

"...most pediatricians have little knowledge of how to screen for subtle developmental concerns. [...] If you do take your child to your own pediatrician, and that doctor reassures you that there are no issues of concern, you may decide to stop right there. But if you continue to have concerns, it can't possibly hurt to take the next step by asking your pediatrician to refer you to an autism specialist."

http://autism.about.com/od/medicalissue ... odxasd.htm

The problem in this case may be that the parent is not willing to be an advocate for further evaluation. Can't say I've met many kids who are intentionally 'faking' it in order to get a diagnosis.

Where i live health care is free, so money's not a problem (in this case).
I think that both my parents are reluctant to get me tested cause i think they are afraid i have it.
If i wanna get tested i can probably reason with her.

I don't understand what you mean, the OP wrote that a doctor wrote a report that he could have autism but said the doctor isn't qualified to diagnose, are you thinking it was the pediatrician wrote the report and isn't qualified?

I feel very uneasy myself making autism into some kind of exclusive club that mustn't be diagnosed except by a tiny select few in certain select ways that aren't shown to be superior. Sometimes if someone really looks like they are on the spectrum, maybe they just really are. I don't object to using specialists for difficult to diagnose situations, but sometimes doing that doesn't make any sense.