Hate my Aspergers Father

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He gets so angry, screams, slam things whenever we bring up his hoarding issues. This behaviour is affecting the relationship with the family. He never holds true to what he says. After the two of his son's wedding he has said to stop buying/hoarding things but he continues on. He silences us telling us to shut up, that it's his business not yours. We tell him but it's piling up the house. He slams. He never listens, receptive of others and always For his hoarding issues. We can never have a proper conversation with him because he bursts every time we want to say something that makes us feel bad. He doesn't get along with the family. He wants the house to run his way.

I feel sad for my mum having I live this way. She sighs. Deep down she cries. I feel sad that we have to live this way.

That sounds more like an OCD/hoarding disorder problem rather than an Asperger's one. Of course the AS could make it more difficult for him to change, but hoarding is hard to treat anyway. I'd look up information on that if I were you. Most of the time you can't force them to change and they may not see any need to change or feel like they can do without the crap they have hoarded. I don't know how to fix it, but it sounds more like OCD rather than AS. I have AS and have never felt any desire to hoard and I know quite a few folks with AS who don't either. I know several hoarders who don't have AS though and one or two who do. I think it's an across the board problem. Check out OCD and hoarding disorder links and see what you can find for family members of hoarders. There may not be much you can do about it though.

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Yeah I agree more of an OCD thing. I think for a lot of us with autism, there is no point in owning anything you don't absolutely need.

As an autistic person, I find that the more stuff I have lying around, the more stuff is in my head.

Mess around me = mess in my mind.

As people have commented, general hoarding seems more to be an OCD trait than that of autism.

I'd consider it an autistic trait if the hoarding was related to special interests or obsessions, or as a way to cope with phobias or fears.

From watching the TV show, Hoarders, and several others on the topic ...

The only way a hoarder will change is if faced with a dire consequence that he/she really doesn't want, such as having children taken away, the house condemned, the family move out and leave the hoarder, etc. Even then, and even with the help of a professional organizer, it's likely to be only a partial cure.

This behavior is hard on the family, and then he's verbally abusive besides. My feeling is, give this man a dire consequence and the offer to work with an OCD therapist - maybe the family members together can stage an intervention and confront him with the effects on the family and the dire consequence.

My husband is a mini hoarder and I constantly tell him not to buy more stuff, but his excuses run from "it's cheaper by the multipack" to "I thought it would make a nice decoration." I am firmly putting my foot down and calling the disorder by its name, but I do it nicely and with gentle humor. Doesn't sound like that would work with your dad.

http://www.jwatch.org/na32776/2013/11/1 ... g-disorder
This study suggests that hoarding is more common than autism.

This sounds like a horrible living situation. I hope it gets better. It sounds like hoarding is a very hard thing to deal with for everyone concerned.

Some information on hoarding:
https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/20 ... -Sheet.pdf
http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxie ... ing-basics
http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxie ... tervention

I agree with everyone above - sounds like an OCD related thing. Really sorry you have to go through this and really feel sorry for your Dad too as it is a hard disorder to overcome.

An ultimatum is probably what's needed.

Good luck!