“A Field Guide to Earthlings” – Is this for Real?

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I just finished reading (for the second time) “A Field Guide to Earthlings”. This book identifies 62 psychological/behavior patterns of NT humans (as written from an autistic perspective).

Coincidentally, I came across an interesting topic on how NTs “Do Things” with conversation.

While I recognized a couple of the patterns mentioned in the book, I found myself wondering a couple of things:
- Are these patterns common to all NTs? Or, is the author simply lumping NTs together (and over generalizing)?
- Are these patterns prevalent in all NT interactions? Or do the patterns emerge, based upon who an NT is interacting with?
- If these patterns are intermittent, how do Aspies recognize these patterns are occurring? Or, do we simply assume they are always occurring?

As a note, as I think about these patterns, it makes me reluctant to want to have any social interactions with NTs. As I would not know how to interact (if in case these patterns are for real). Note: This could explain my general awkwardness in social situations. Yikes.

I am interested in your thoughts on this matter. Thanks.

I just read the 20 pages on the writer's website. FYI, the writer also has a blog, and occasionally attends Autreat.

Not sure what to say about the book, since the 20 pages did'nt give that much insight.

Yeah, unfortunately the pdf excerpt on the website only includes the first 4 patterns (Desensitization, Symbolic Filtering, Multi-Focus and Sensory Integration).

- Are these patterns common to all NTs? Or, is the author simply lumping NTs together (and over generalizing)?
I would say they are generalised principles - average patterns, they will need to be adapted for different situations however the underlying principles in the situation are likely to match the pattern with some margin of error.

- Are these patterns prevalent in all NT interactions? Or do the patterns emerge, based upon who an NT is interacting with?
I would say they are the principles NT's use in their interactions, and in principle NT's would use different patterns with different people (e.g. authority figure v friend), but that those patterns are constant/predictable principles

- If these patterns are intermittent, how do Aspies recognize these patterns are occurring? Or, do we simply assume they are always occurring?
I think opperating from a view that they are likely to be occuring. Use them to help you figure out whats going on in the situation and how to respond to it, look for the patterns in the situation but dont run with the assumption that the pattern will definately be there - or if you do, be prepared and ready to adapt to exceptions.

As a note, as I think about these patterns, it makes me reluctant to want to have any social interactions with NTs. As I would not know how to interact (if in case these patterns are for real).
Finding NT's who understand you do not know/notice/understand/engage with these patterns and do not let that cause difficulties in the relationship can be fine to get along with. There are a lot of NT's out there who can understand and work with the knowledge that someone else is totally direct, verbal etc. Interactions with NT's can often go very well if both parties are direct with each other (e.g. you can verbally say the situation is confusing you and the other person verbally explain)

Cogs - Thanks for your reply. Some more questions.

First, did you realize these patterns existed before you read the book? And, then, after reading the book begin noticing the patterns in your everyday interaction with NTs?

Note: I am embarrassed to say this, but ... while I have seen some of the behaviors before reading the book, I did not realize that these behaviors were patterns that were prevalent across all NTs. Then again, I did not realize I was an aspie until last month. LOL.

Second, do you think an NT (who read the book) would agree that these patterns exist in their interactions?

Third, do you think less of NTs, now that you realize these patterns exist? Based upon reading the book, I now sense an even greater level of superficiality in the way they interact with and perceive the world (based upon these patterns).

Hey Rocket,

I read the book with much interest. It's full of little Gems like " in NT conversations the words fill the time while the message is being transmitted...."

who knew? I didn't! I've spent half my life listening to people's words and wondering why I'm not getting it!

The author makes it all sound very superficial and pattern based but I get that it's evolved this way to speed thing up when the going gets tough. Watch people who are suceeding in fast moving conversations to glimps how this works for them.

Since reading the book I'm all about listening and watching people who are speaking to me to try and get the clues. And trying to hold back on my own impulse to say the next thing and substitute a question that will reveal more meaning in the last thing that was said.

It's all good stuff. does anybody know of a more advanced book on the same subject?

[quote="Rocket123"]First, did you realize these patterns existed before you read the book? And, then, after reading the book begin noticing the patterns in your everyday interaction with NTs?
I had some idea, in some cases it put words to something I was already somewhat aware of, in other cases it was a whole new realisation. So to some degree yes, though also some of it was new.

while I have seen some of the behaviors before reading the book, I did not realize that these behaviors were patterns that were prevalent across all NTs.
It can be hard to figure out the underlying pattern with all the other stuff that fills interactions. Much easier to see it when you are looking for it.

Second, do you think an NT (who read the book) would agree that these patterns exist in their interactions?
I dont think NTs generally see the patterns they use. They dont generally tend to be as analytical about social stuff, interactions etc. Most NT's I know probably wouldnt understand the way that they things have been explained in the book very well, I think with ASD the book makes more sense as it is written for how we think and experience social situations etc.

Third, do you think less of NTs, now that you realize these patterns exist?
Nope. They are just different, not less, interactions with them tend to be less confusing than they used to be. And there are always lots of NT's who do not fit the patterns, or who are understanding of other people not working with the patterns.

Samian – Thanks for your reply. I had some questions for you.

So, if "in NT conversations the words fill the time while the message is being transmitted....", then what in the heck are aspies supposed to be doing when interacting with NTs? Just continue asking more questions? Won’t NTs eventually get bored of just talking? And what meaning are you looking for?

You know. If this book is at all accurate, it leaves me with a sickening feeling about social interactions. Why would anyone want to participate? Oh – I guess you cannot win, if you don’t play. Geez – I can now understand why people have social anxiety.

In any event, I too would like to read more on this subject. These NTs are interesting creatures.

In case you are interested in my thoughts on this one

Often words do more than fill time - word choice often communicates things subtly, and can tone down or intensify the message being communicated. Word choice can also communicate respect and that you are differing to the authority of someone above you or communicate your authority over someone else. Subtle things that dont generally get said directly.
Wont NT's get bored of talking? They dont seem to, talking and sharing experiences is important in bonding and building a relationship with eachother.
What are you supposed to do when having a conversation with an NT? I tend to find it goes best if we can talk about a topic that interests both of us and talk about factual info, discuss the interest etc. rather than small talk.

Reading that, my brain just shuts down, it won't compute. No wonder I cannot fathom NTs. It's a quagmire of confusion, unnecessary-ness and ridiculousness.

I am an NT who has read this book and absolutely do see these patterns in my interactions. I think the author has done a fantastic job of explaining them and recommend this book very strongly. But I also agree with Cogs' statement that a lot of NTs are entirely unaware of these patterns. Using them is intuitive for NTs but being aware you are using them is not intuitive. An NT will only become aware of it through analysis and study. It will not be intuitive knowledge.

Interestingly, analysing it and studying it used to be a bit of a fad many years ago. I got interested in it in highschool and read a bunch of books which were popular at the time (such as Games People Play by Berne and How to Win Friends And Influence People by Carnegie which was published in the 30's and started the genre) and started analysing my interactions with my friends. Since I did this out loud, people found it very annoying. But also sometimes intriguing. I am and hung around with people here sometimes called BAPs (Broader Autism Phenotype)*, also often called "nerd". Such people are also drawn to analysis and these books were passed among my highschool friends.

Back when mega bookstores were common, there would be whole shelves devoted to this sort of analysis. As I talk to people, it seems that many just dabble in one book of this analysis and then drop it and move on to something else and forget about it and forget that they ever learned about these patterns. Others couldn't possibly care less and would roll their eyes at this or any similar book and never realize they do it themselves. Still others have a deep and professional knowledge and use this knowledge to manipulate people- the advertising industry and politics hinge on really, really knowing this stuff and knowing it well. Knowing it as an NT not in those industries is, for me, a form of self defense. Labeling these patterns and being conscious of them is an imperfect firewall against the cons of politicians and advertisers. But it's imperfect and manipulation still gets through.

A Field Guide To Earthlings stands alone amongst these interaction deconstruction books because it is aimed specifically at people on the spectrum. All the other books of this genre assume that the reader follows these patterns but is simply unaware of doing so. That assumption affects how the information is presented. This unique book assumes the reader does not follow these patterns and is unaware that others do. That alone makes it essential reading for anyone on the spectrum.

* I often say on WP that I am Broader Autism Phenotype but that is just my assumption. It is a barely defined category with no actual diagnostic criteria. It seems like a grey area category for people with autistic relatives (implying shared DNA) who have some traits but don't meet impairment criteria. I am retroactively applying it to myself and frinds in highschool even though none of us had autistic relatives since at that time the term "autism" was applied to only a very few strongly affected people and there was no such thing as "an aspie". Retroactively there are a couple friends who are/were quite possibly AS but it is none of my business to ask them (nearly all of my highschool friends are now facebook friends).


here is a link to the author's website which has the 20 page preview.

http://www.afieldguidetoearthlings.com/

tl:dr The book is full of accurate and useful inofrmation that is consciously known only by those NTs who make a decision to learn it. It is not intuitive knowledge.

This concept makes me want to puke for some reason - literally, I mean. Seriously, the words are about 99% of what I'm receiving. If the words don't matter, then I have absolutely no clue what is going on EVER.

Janissy – Thanks for your reply. So...

1. Do you see these patterns in all interactions – with immediate family, extended family, super close friends, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, work colleagues who are also friends, work colleagues who are not also friends, strangers, etc.?

2. Do you “use” all the patterns with all of those categories I listed above? If not, how do you decide when to use which patterns? Or, does it all happen naturally (without thought)?

3. Do you agree that: "in NT conversations the words fill the time while the message is being transmitted...."? If so, how do you translate the message being translated?

I am thinking of a social encounter (say, my daughter’s recent award ceremony), where people get together and converse. Typically, I just stand next to my wife and listen. Every once in a while I will say something. Occasionally, when I do say something it is inappropriate. But, in any event, the people are talking about something. In fact, it could be many things. I am amazed, just watching the conversation flow, like water from topic to topic to topic. Do you believe that a message is being translated? I could swear that they are exchanging information. Or, at least, that is what I am getting from the interaction.

4. Do you notice Aspies using these patterns? If so, do you believe those Aspies are successful when using these patterns? If so, do you believe it is intuitive for those Aspies to use these patterns?

You know what I am thinking? I need to read this book again. Because it seems like I still don’t get it. Sigh.

whirlingmind and YippySkippy – My sentiments exactly. I guess that explains why we congregate on a message board called Wrong Planet. LOL.

With that being said, this book also begins to put a lot of things into perspective. It explains why I have had so much difficulty interacting with people. It also suggests, if I want to be more successful with NTs, I need to better filter not only what I say, but also how I react to what people say. Yikes. I’d be more successful just putting duct tape over my mouth and wearing a mask. Yikes.

As I pull out the book and look at the index- yes, I use all the Patterns of Communication all the time and with all sorts of people. However, the Patterns of Relationships and Power are very situational and depend very much on the person, our relationship, and the situation right at that moment. It is hard for me to not use Inferring By Association (a Pattern of Communication) and I must make a conscious effort not to with my autisitc daughter. But of course the Conflict pattern (Patterns of Relationships and Power) only comes up if I'm actually in a conflict.




Patterns of Communication are unconscious and automatic. Not using them requires conscious effort. It is an effort I am willing to apply when the situation calls for it (communicating with somebody on the spectrum). But this must be a conscious decision. If I am running on autopilot, the Patterns of Communication will happen automatically.

I do agree with the quoted sentence. I don't translate the (non-verbal) message being transmitted. It is transmitted at a level below conscious awareness. Clearly some part of my brain is doing a translation but I have no idea how I do it anymore than I know how my visual cortex turns photons into an image. Autistic posters on WP probably have a better grasp on how this translation is done than I do because they must do it consciously. There have been various posts where people describe decoding non-verbals. It seems that doing it consciously is so time consuming and arduous that it can't be done in real time (as fast as needs to be done while talking to somebody) so the person who must do it consciously will have a time delay and mental fatigue from the effort of doing it.


Yes. Many messages are being transmitted non-verbally during the small talk. Unfortunately for you, accurate reception of those messages is needed in order to know what is an appropriate thing to say.


They are exchanging information. It's just that some of that information is non-verbal.


On WP (my main experience of Aspies) I do see some of the (verbal) Patterns of Communication such as inferences, multi-level communication and even small talk. I also see some posters getting irritated when other posters use these patterns. It is a spectrum for sure.

Yes. This is sometimes a source of conflict and of "you aren't really Aspie" accusations.



I don't know. Some people just seem to do it very naturally and easily. Others say they needed dedicated study to be able to use these communication patterns and they were adults before they could do it (these patterns are established in childhood in NTs).



Do read it again. It is packed with information.

Janissy – Thanks for your second reply. So...More questions...

1. If an Aspie were to ignore the patterns (for now, let’s assume not on purpose), what would be the standard NT reaction (assuming that the NT didn’t realize the other person was an Aspie)?

2. Are you able to determine someone is an Aspie, just by interacting with them? If so, do you make this determination based upon the usage of the patterns? Or, something else?

3. I’ve worked in the corporate world for many years. It was hell. I had issues with delegation, negotiation, influence (e.g. selling ideas to others), delivering bad news, motivating others. I did everything based upon logic (which is what I personally considered “common sense”). I guess that shows you how wrong I was. LOL. Based upon your responses so far, I am guessing that, for NTs, this is all done through these patterns. Correct?

4. You said, “It seems that doing it consciously is so time consuming and arduous that it can't be done in real time (as fast as needs to be done while talking to somebody) so the person who must do it consciously will have a time delay and mental fatigue from the effort of doing it”. Any suggestions on how to better cope, without the mental fatigue?