Is it normal for aspies to get confused by what people say?

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I get really mixed up when someone told me i should think about myself meaning i should treat myself. I appreciate the advise she gave but i don't think i can stop being hard on myself since i don't have good feelings about myself and i rather think about being nice to my friends rather than be nice to myself and i have a low income anyway. I also got mixed up when a support worker asked me if i wanted to go to school and he also said he could help me find a job. I'm doing ok with money i get from the government and school is too complicated and i didn't even finish high school properly. Anyone here in the same boat I'm in?

Yes, it is normal. There is a language processing component that comes with it. Sometimes, I need people to repeat themselves. It takes me a little time to attach the meaning behind the words but even when I do, I'm not always 100% sure if I was correct on the meaning the first time.

When people give me directions, I usually ask for them to be repeated unless it's a task I'm very familiar with. We can sort things out but it doesn't hurt to ask for clarification. If people discourage this, then they are not helpful.

Welcome, Octopusdaisy. Yes, it is common for aspies to get confused those ways. I also dropped out of high school, because I was learning a lot more just from reading. Your support worker is probably under pressure to see if there is a way for you to support yourself. Seeing our work bear fruit is one way to feel better about ourselves. It is good to find someone who is willing to help you make sense of conversation. I had a counsellor who helped occasionally, but I think that ideally, it should be a trade for something that we have a particular talent for, so both have good reasons to continue.

Something struck me, going to Aspie support groups and looking back on my college years and my former friends.

Either Aspies instantly get your attempts at humor or they wouldn't know a joke if it came up behind them and repeatedly beat them over the head with a metal folding chair. The people at my support groups either immediately laugh at witticisms or it sails 1,000 miles over their heads. They take remarks so literally!! ! One or the other. Either they have a great sense of humor or none. Either they really recognize tongue-in-cheek comments or they really don't.

I had one friend (now former friend) in college who belonged to the first camp. A second friend was a prime example of the second instance.

They were both Aspies, in all likelihood.

My former best friend in college was similarly obtuse. She wouldn't get the most obvious wisecrack. She was probably an Aspie, too.

It's healthy to treat yourself and indulge. Be kind to yourself, and you will want to be kind to others as well. Even if those others don't deserve an ounce of your respect or your time or your emotional energy. I have started practicing something where when I tell myself I'm evil and awful and fat and boring...I try to do something like paint, or find something fun to do like ice skating or getting a professional massage....which I need like...right now. But yes! You have to be kind to yourself in order for you to be kind to others, and you'd want people to be kind to you, right? Sorry. Long rant. I'm sure this has all been said before. I hope someone takes my advice.

^^ Jeez, that brings up a memory. I worked as a masseur quite successfully on the west coast of North America before moving inland where people don't even know how to hug. I'd had a really tough year, and decided to treat myself to a massage here. It was awful, and expensive as well.

I think it pretty common for an aspie to be confused by what people say. I spend alot of time in a kind of postmortem process following conversations trying to understand what a person was saying and asking and what their motivations were ect. I can't do it in the moment fast enough.

Aspies say what we mean. Less likely to lie and are too honest.
NTs do not often say what they mean. More likely to lie and are less honest.

In this century, I've done a lot of that too. I go over conversations, or parts of them, many times but I don't think I'm gleaning more information, I'm just more frightened of what I may be missing. Logic is pretty useless, but I don't have much else. Once, I turned down an invitation to share coffee because I don't drink it, but the offer kept returning from my memory occasionally for years until I realized that they were trying to initiate social relations, and were probably hurt. I have learned that people will often remember different parts of a conversation as being the memorable bits.

From all that snow shoveling! (And because I assaulted a police officer while intoxicated, and now I'm super sore, but mostly from the shoveling, i think?) I got way too into shoveling and I figured my next door neighbors would really appreciate it because no one was home, and it was coming down heavy. It was a good workout, but yeah, a spa retreat sounds so nice right now.

For a post-athletic massage, ask for Swedish, with some muscle. Aromatherapy and crystal fans won't do it. Also, women are lucky. If I got sore from assaulting a cop, that would not be my main concern.