Adult providers only understand mood and anxiety

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It seems that mental health providers for adults love to look at things in terms of mood and/or anxiety, and often seem incapable of understanding problems in any other terms. This is in contrast to child providers, who often can look at things in terms of autism, ADHD, conduct, etc.

I had an appointment with my psychotherapist yesterday, who is pretty good. He noted that my mood has seemed better. But while we were engaged in an activity that was very overwhelming for me, my "mood" seemed to "drop" as I shut down. To him, it was like I became depressed again, but that didn't make any sense. He could tell it was related to that activity, but that was really the only thing he could say on it. He was perplexed that as the depression seemed to improve, problems that I had been having for months seemed to continue to grow. As we ended the session and he walked me out, my "mood" started "improving" markedly.

Of course, his problem is that he keeps looking at these issues in terms of mood, like, oh, this is depression, or something. But it's not that at all. It's that that kind of activity is very difficult for me and often causes me to shut down, as part of either my autism spectrum disorder or schizotypal disorder. If only adult providers can better look beyond mood and anxiety, we'd probably have a better functioning mental health system.

I know what you mean. For example, I tried bringing up issues I've been having in organizing my thoughts when communicating with people, especially when it came to complex matters. He responded saying that it happens all the time to him and he just tries writing things down which he finds helps. The problem is that he failed to get any more details on what I said, because I was actually referring to problems I had writing posts on the Internet, so his response was completely irrelevant and unhelpful. And it was because I simply left out a detail whose importance I did not realize. Once I mentioned that detail, however, he changed his tune and acknowledged that was a problem and stopped trying to "redirect" me. These kinds of misunderstandings have happened a lot over the years and usually ends up making me feel misunderstood and dissatisfied, especially afterward when I reflect on the session.

I've tried fixing it by being more detailed, so many are trying to say that it's a symptom of OCD. My psychiatrist started doing that, saying he was going to put me on meds for OCD, until I brought up how I have difficulty coming up with relevant details in general, that is, I have difficulty knowing what is relevant or not. I also mentioned how I find language inadequate much of the time and so elaborate more on what I'm saying. I gave examples of this going back to childhood. He seemed to get it, bless his heart, and said that the problem seems to be that I have "too many thoughts". It seems he dropped the OCD idea as the diagnosis never got added to my chart. That's a start!

CBT has its benefits, but it doesn't work well when there's a problem with communication.

Other problems it's caused is that my parents have seen these problems, too, problems that are the same from when I was a kid and were reported then. I've tried bringing childhood records and things that my parents have said, but all they do is shoot them down and try to go all CBT on me, shooting it down. At times, my parents wonder why my providers aren't aware of certain problems and blame me for concealing them from my providers, the very same problems which, when reported, my providers keep handwaving away.

I am really burned out on "CBT". Maybe this next provider coming is better about it; my psychotherapist, who is leaving, seems to praise her highly. Still, I hope it's not just a repeat of the same-old same-old.

I would prefer a provider who is willing to explore your symptoms and their impact on your life instead of always trying to find ways to shoot down your complaints.

When we interact with another person we project our own thoughts and feelings on them in an attempt to better understand them. The problem is that I don’t think the way other people do so this usually does not work on me. I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to explain to people that I’m not angry, I’m frustrated, the frustration is a symptom of what’s going on in my head and that’s usually too complex for you to accurately guess at without explanation.

I’ve had many doctors and psychologists worry too much about my feelings and never enough about my thoughts. I think most people don’t think like me but rather go through life making decisions based on feelings. My Mother is like this, always thinking with her emotions. I still can’t have much of a conversation with her about anything serious because she projects her emotions onto me in an attempt to understand how I feel and that is so far off the mark that we don’t have any common understanding of each other.

I suggest you try to find a less emotional therapist who is more logical and systematic.

Yeah, when all you got is a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail

Now, I do want to reflect on the positive aspects of my recent therapy. I'm still dealing with a lot of the same issues, but I do like how this therapist has been very interested in helping me deal with practical matters and providing real tangible assistance, like making phone calls with me and connecting me with people who can provide services; like I was finally able to stop being homeless thanks to this. He tells me my next therapist is also very practical-minded, which I think can be helpful. The only issue is that it is sometimes hard to talk deeply.

When it comes to psychiatrists and psychotherapists I tend to be pretty cynical. Feeling depressed? Here's your mood elevator. Feeling anxious? Here's your mood relaxer. Everything else is bullsh*t. They don't pay me enough to get into your specific issues, plus I have too many other patients to see to be bothered with you alone. See you next month, or in two weeks, or whatever your insurance pays for.

I went to my evaluator yesterday to get a bit of a reality check. Also to bounce things off of her so that I could see if what I am going through is typical. So far, nothing out of the ordinary.....Just feeling my way through things. So, I complained about the drugs and not working on the skills.

Most of my anxieties come from two sources:

Cognitive overloads and sensory overloads.

The cognitive overloads are happening faster now because of the seeds of doubt that realizations have made abundant. I've had massive successes coupled with even more spectacular, supernovae, type of implosions. I am literally blackballed from one of the biggest corporations in the world.

So, my problem is cleaning up the things that cause that. Fix the problems, kill most of the anxieties.

Example. I literally had 'looking into the eyes' beaten into me. I would never look my stepfather or family in the eye. He did not like that, so, beat it into me. Now, I have a laser stare because that was conditioned into me. Many other things like that need to be broken.

I separate that from the 'Aspie' stare because that is a separate mechanism going on and it is different. And, when that happens, I am totally unaware of it. And, it's worse because one of my special interests is anatomy. I size everything up: Size, proportions, racial types (do they fall in the norm or outside the norm), fingers, hands, toes, feet, length of arms vs torso vs other proportional markers...a living grid if you will. Make an inventory of all physical aspects and file them into my database. Now, if I get lost in that process, it's really bad. Women are especially worried when some old, fat guy is checking them out the way I do. It's not sexual. Do it to all living organisms, but mostly and most deeply, humans. But, completely separate actions in play. And, embarrassing as hell too because I don't want them to think I'm leering (well, it may be perceived that way, but, it's not) or dangerous. Can't always look at the floor. Even there, there is an abundance of things to examine. Just not so obvious.

But, for 8 months now, I've found out that, (1) It's creeping people out, and, (2) you don't have to lock on, but I didn't know where to look or, 'how' to do it..

So, in about five minutes, I got the eye contact thing down. Why? Because I could simply talk to someone who understood what I was f*****g asking for a change, and I got to practice.

With her feedback, I am now comfortable with where I can look. She gave the feedback I needed. Where I look is not appearing evasive and even told me not to sorry about contact at all times. Just 'check in' periodically. And, when I would do it, she would say, "Thanks for checking in." No condescension. Just feedback.

And, I feel much better now about that one issue. Let's knock that out and THEN we can still do the CBT. I do have issues to work out. But, it is not the primary problem.

You want me to work? Train me. I have no transferable skills from such a specialized market I work in.

You want me to succeed? Teach me those stupid little things. Five minutes yesterday and of course, practice through the rest of the session and I feel much better.

Geee, how f*****g hard was that?

But, I agree that CBT will have it's place. Can be done at the same time. But not as a replacement.

And, not drugging me up.

Oh, and for people who may be curious, I now know I can look at around the nose area and it appears, to the outside person, ok and appropriate. This way I look high enough that it's not 'avoidant' but, can also read lips a bit when I lose words. I do that anyway, so now I am comfortable with that. Couldn't do the forehead or bridge of the nose....too close to the eyes.

What I gleaned: Look in the face, not needed to look in the eyes specifically.

Aspie stare, that is great. It explains many of those "What are you looking at" reactions. Good luck with your journey

^Fascinating, this business about your "living grid." Boy, did that hit a nerve with me. I navigate through cities relatively easily because I see them as just grids. How aspie of us to compartmentalize, arrange and dissect everything. Why play with a toy car when you can take it apart and see what makes it work? Why play with your blocks when you can line or stack them up as if storing them for a rainy day? Some people use maps as reference tools. I'm sure we view maps, charts, schedules and routes like novels to be read line by line. I do, anyway.

Psychologists need to stop taking neurologists' jobs. Psychologists and psychiatrists aren't trained to provide help for autism, sensory overload and other symptoms of neurological disorders. How hard is that for them to say "sorry, I'm not competent for this, please see a neurologist who is specialized in cognition" ? Or, less patients and then less money to earn...

Psychiatrists often mistake autism and other neurological disorders for schizophrenia or bipolar personality disorder, or both, it happened to me. I got the highest dose of anti-psychotic medications and felt like a zombie, because I always was labeled as delusional, until I saw a neurologist who told me I was completely misdiagnosed... How many times are we going to justify ourselves and have to repeat that the problems we have are NOT psychological !

Perhaps some Aspies need to become professional therapists for other Aspies?