I have so many issues with communication that I could not gather my thoughts together. So I hope you do not mind that I borrowed from all of your posts. You all did a great job describing the different aspects.
•When dealing with selective mutism, I hear what people say, but I can not respond, I scream in my head what I want to say, am distressed nobody hears me.
•I find that it is easier to respond to conversations in my mind, but actually speaking out loud is difficult.
•When I am tired or stressed, I struggle to even understand what people are saying.
•I may be unable to recognise words in their speech - it sounds like meaningless noise - or, if I can, I may still have difficulty remembering the meaning of those words.
•When I am tired or stressed, I also struggle to turn my thoughts into words, or just find any words to formulate a coherent response.
•At best, I use placeholders like "thing" and "do stuff"; other times, another, wrong word gets stuck in my mind, preventing me from thinking of the right word; at worst, my whole mind goes blank.
•People always want more details when it is obvious that I am having difficulty responding.
•Even if what I say makes any sense, it can misrepresent my true knowledge, understanding, feelings, or intent.
•Even when I am capable, I still struggle to speak, and I feel drained afterward, and need to take a break.
•Most of my successful attempts to speak are terse responses or obsessive rants.
•Verbal speech creates a mental blur or white noise distortion. If I am allowed to be silent, my mind clears.
•I can express myself better, and prefer to communicate by email or text, pen and paper, or through an "interpreter" (I know American Sign Language) than to speak with somebody.
•I feel better if I am not forced to talk.
•I have done it a few times for short periods, but would be forced by my parents to start speaking.
•I just wish that I could be accepted as a non-verbal person, but my parents would get very angry.
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31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed:
Autism Spectrum Disorder,
Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and
Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.
Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)
"I am silently correcting your grammar."
