Conversation,who else struggles with this?

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firemonkey
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17 Jun 2017, 7:24 am

Who else struggles with this? Conversation wise I am very much a follower,not a leader, and really struggle to initiate conversations.
Sometimes it's easier for me to chat than at other times. It can be hard knowing what to say.
People will often ask what you have been doing as a conversation starter and that stumps me.
The reason it stumps me? I don't do much to stimulate a conversation from such a question.
I am,in essence, a very boring person . My life revolves around eat,drink,sleep, internet and tv and not much else.


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PatrickJane
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17 Jun 2017, 8:30 am

Yes, i have that same problem. Most of all when people approach me with phrases like "What's up?" and expect an actual answer. Like what's up with what?


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Rukkus
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22 Jun 2017, 8:08 am

I usually respond to what the other person says or asks and let them lead the conversation. I wish I was more able to share my own thoughts and opinions and initiate conversations or just talk on and on like some people. I have been referred to as really boring. I am able to joke around but after a while it gets tiring like a mask. I have tried every technique I could think of to blend in before I had considered ASD. They were all masks and copies of others. I tend to ask too many questions and I get self conscious because I know this bothers people, but I tend to want more and more details of what they are explaining. I don't understand chatting.



FandomConnection
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23 Jun 2017, 2:54 am

Rukkus wrote:
I usually respond to what the other person says or asks and let them lead the conversation. I wish I was more able to share my own thoughts and opinions and initiate conversations or just talk on and on like some people. I have been referred to as really boring. I am able to joke around but after a while it gets tiring like a mask. I have tried every technique I could think of to blend in before I had considered ASD. They were all masks and copies of others. I tend to ask too many questions and I get self conscious because I know this bothers people, but I tend to want more and more details of what they are explaining. I don't understand chatting.


I understand what you mean about 'masks and copies of others'. I do it unintentionally, sometimes, and then realise, 'Oh, that was <insert name of whoever I was accidentally copying>.'

I also let others lead the conversation, so it is more of an interview (they ask a question, I answer, they ask another question, I answer...). This is much easier for me.

If someone asks 'What's up?' or similar, I usually ask, 'What do you mean?', because it is hard for me to work out what to say to such a broad question.


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harry12345
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24 Jun 2017, 3:38 pm

I can talk one-to-one fairly easily with someone - providing we know each other well.

If there are more than three people then I do tend to struggle.

Worst scenario is if I suddenly get new people sitting nearby - I can, and do, clam up.



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24 Jun 2017, 5:05 pm

My problem is more along the lines of starting conversations with people I don't know well - or conversations that I am ill-prepared for/surprise conversations.

When talking around people I know I can be overly relaxed, talk too much, often repeating myself and may ramble. I forget to stop and let the other person speak, as I get in a hurry to get out everything that I have to say before I forget what I was trying to say in the first place. THIS can be very frustrating.

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Tufted Titmouse
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24 Jun 2017, 6:23 pm

i used to be almost unable to speak to strangers, even people i knew were difficult to talk to (both initiate and maintain). conversations involving things i am not interested in are tedious. talking about my interests i can do for ages. someone trying to change the conversation from something i am interested in to a different topic stumps me, usually ends up with them walking away or talking to someone else. have difficulty following conversations as sometimes i completely lose my train of thought or the thread of the conversation (sometimes due to other conversations happening nearby or being in a noisy environment). interrupting people, not knowing when to talk, focusing on one person to the exclusion of other(s), getting very animated, being unable to tell whether i am being asked to help or just listen and a whole bunch of other things have been pointed out to me by others. this gets a fair bit confusing and more than a bit anxiety provoking ...