REG: AvDisconnection Letter to my mother

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Hello all:

Find below a disconnection letter written to my biological mother. This is effectively me telling her I’ve reached the end of my rope with her and no longer want to hear from her. This letter does contain very real discriptions of things I’ve gone through and so might be triggering to some. So if you’re someone who is easily triggered by themes of abuse, mistreatment, etc. please don’t read the below.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and help support me through any kind words of encouragement and such.

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Dear Mother:


I hope this letter finds you well. First of all, I am in a safe environment, safer than that which was provided by Grandma, Auntie, and You. For years before the incident in 2014 I had made various alerts that there were issues (not could have been, not might have been, were issues); however, to this you and everyone else was blind to these alerts. Once it escalated to rape, and nothing could be done or was done, I said that you’ve effectively picked him over me based on your actions. This point was really driven home multiple times, but the two most blatantly hurtful examples were while I was at the police station trying to get a restraining order last 2015 and I had asked you for his phone number to confirm what I had on file and you refused to give it as you were protecting him (as I thought you might) (your exact cited reason: “because I heard you were pressing charges...”), and the multiple times you’ve said “he’s family…” (like the Christmas picture where I believe your words were to the effect of “and if he wasn’t busy or having other things to do, I would ask him to be here because he’s family. Regardless of what may have happened, even though you might not like it…”). Then you constantly have the nerve to compare him to Alexis (last I checked, “RAPE” DOES NOT EQUAL “HEARTBREAK”. One is a SERIOUS CRIME that is punishable by law and that no human (or hologram) should ever have to experience (rape), while the other is an emotion that is the result of one person’s actions towards another whether intentionally or not.) I am sure that reading this is not easy for you and might be putting emotional strain on you, but does that make me equal to a rapist? According to your comparison logic, yes it does. I hope your satisfied. Go have your family, or accomplish your goals; however don’t involve me.

I am hereby disconnecting from you as your suppressive acts (including but not limited to associating with a known person who is suppressing me and has suppressed me for years, attempting to limit my progress towards my goals by telling me how to live my life, providing me with false hope that you would help me accomplish my goals as relating to my health and then not following through thus leaving me to figure all out in my own, not seeing the positive aspects of my unique attributes such as my autism or anything of a kind, being very condescending towards me on numerous occasions, and many others too numerous to think of and write here), are destroying all my gains and impeding my progress towards my goals. I no longer wish to have you in my life. I am freeing myself from the proverbial chains that you have placed on me through your actions, inactions, and words. Please do not call me, attempt to write me, or otherwise communicate with me in any way. Let me live my life and I will let you live yours. While I appreciate you and the help you’ve given me, the benefits don’t outweigh the risks. If you wish to restore a connected state with me, please change your actions to limit or remove the suppressive acts as outlined in this letter.


As for obtaining my things in your storage units and at grandmother’s I will make each and every effort to get to them once I am fully settled and established here. Right now, I am working to get the basics (health care, counseling to deal with all the trauma inflicted by you and others, reliable transportation, a stable roof over my head, etc), so I don’t have the physical space to put things at the moment. Health care and counseling are established while I rotate between a cast of friends, resources, and motels to keep a roof over my head while I look for more stable housing. Once stable housing is established, I will find a way to make a one-time connection with you to arrange a time and methodology for me to get my things. (either through Lee, Sarah, or one of my trusted officers (e.g. Krystal, Jennette, or an advisor)). The final piece of the puzzle (reliable housing) is not as easy to establish; however, while I’m rotating between this revolving door of addresses, I am actively utilizing each and every resource to find such (something I could not do while I was outside of this county). It might take awhile to get to the point of stable housing, but I’m working on it. Until such point, I am respectfully asking that my possessions not be altered or disturbed in any way and to place my remaining possessions at grandmother’s house in storage until I can retrieve them.

I wish you well, enjoy your life.

Hugs:
Your Daughter:
Carly G. Fleischmann

Hi, I read this yesterday and was very moved but didn't quite know what to reply. It is a good and powerful letter. It is respectful but honest and sets clear boundaries. It is funny but I was actually most moved by the bit towards the end where you respectfully ask that your possessions not be altered or disturbed. It made me cry. I feel like it is a very sad state of affairs when that is the only thing left you have to ask for from your mother. I am sorry you have had such a tough time but I hope that (even if this is going to be a challenging time) this is a formative time that helps you grow even stronger and that sets you on a new course. I wish you all the best for your new beginning.

Why are people doing these kind of stuff, I'm wondering.
today, I was having a talk with someone about the society being full of idiots and she said "yes. most of are genes are the same as reptiles". So what? I said reptiles are more "humane" than us. Poor reptiles have bad reputation as it seems. They don't kill for fun. they don't commit genocide. they don't use chemical weapons. they are very nice creatures actually. way nicer than humans. What's wrong with the humanity? I mean criminal behavior is not exactly rare, actually quite the OPPOSITE. Despite the law and all the punishment in place.
Dear god: human.exe encountered fatal error.

That's a very strong and powerful letter. I hope your mum takes it to heart and does exactly what's asked in the letter.