Where do I find people who don’t care about my life?

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Probably hard to find, but I hate being asked what my job, major, how my day was or anything else like that. I also don’t tend to care about other people’s. People might interpret it as self absorbed to not care about their life, but I’m equally apathetic about mine. I know I can’t find people who don’t ask those questions, but I’ve definitely noticed some people ask way more. Is there some way I can act so they care more about the moment and less about my life?

Probably the library......

If they really cared about your life, they'd start by finding out if you like tons of Dale Carnegie-style questions, and then take care not to bother you with them. But I guess you don't much mind if they care, as long as they don't lay those tiresome textbook social questions on you.

Unreconstructed Aspies might be a good source, there might be some here on WP.

Children usually get to the point without much palarva.

Maybe some of the working class don't get trained in conventional social graces.

Basically it's anybody who doesn't know or doesn't follow "the rules," which in this case might turn out to be less universal than you think. I don't think I know anybody who does the social palarva thing much on me, apart from the occasional "how you diddling?" I usually try to have a bit of fun with that one, and say something like "horrible" or (while I was at work) "Well, I'm here, so clearly I'm not feeling great." Another way is to launch into a detailed lecture, covering the difficulty in defining the concept of "how a person is" and giving a comprehensive, fully-nuanced answer. I've only ever done that by accident, but I did notice that they never seem to come back for more. Might be hard to deliver if you feel really strongly against the questions. I personally don't exactly mind, but some of it seems like a waste of time, and when I was younger I thought it was all completely stupid, until I noticed that the "name, rank and serial number" stuff could be a useful starting point for people to roughly weigh each other up, it was hard to see how they could do that because (I guess) NTs can deduce or intuit a lot more from these things than I usually do.

I used to get annoyed by "what's your job?" until it was explained that it's just a narrow form of the question "what do you do?" which I had to concede might be useful. So I switched to just saying "labtech, but I don't define myself by my paid job as much as most do, I do it quite well but it's just a means to an end." I think it's useful to allow a few seemingly pointless, random questions when somebody's trying to suss out who I am, because if they don't know who I am, then I'll remain a stranger to them.

In spite of my tolerance to airy-fairy social graces, I identify very strongly with these lines by Paul Weller:
It's not important for you to know my name
Nor I to know yours
If we communicate for two minutes only
It will be enough

Ninety percent of the time when folks ask "how are you" and "what do you do" and "whats your major" they are not asking because they actually care. No one cares about the weather either. But that's a common topic of small talk (mainly because its something immediate that everyone shares, and its nonpartisan, and not controversial unless you're gonna seque into the subject of global warming. They ask that stuff to make conversation. But the ten percent of the time they are asking because they actually want to know the answer- its because some of those question are how folks peg each other (your identity hinges on your profession, or your major, what hobbies you are into and so forth. Gives the person a picture in their mind of who you are).

The trouble with being an autism person is that you are often deficient in accomplishments so you may not be proud of your job or your dating status or marital status. So you don't like talking about it. So you don't like being asked about it. Don't know if that's your situation or not. Regardless basically you're not going to find any place on the planet where folks you first meet don't ask those sortsa things. So just make up some stock answers just to fend off the questions in a polite way.

I care very much about the weather.

Meteorology has been one of my "special interests" since I was around 7 years old.

Yeah. I am ashamed of my status. It’s a huge catch 22. I don’t like talking to people because they’ll ask status questions, but I can’t do anything that will increase my status because I’m too depressed about my lack of social life.

Yep, am still struggling with that same stuff at my age. A coworker guy struck up a conversation at work this very morning. Friendly, but it was a bit of chore for me to hold up end of the conversation because it involved personal stuff. He asked me if I had ever been married . Admitted I hadn't (not that I personally think that's bad, its that someone from this others guys background would think that was even more strange than folks in my backround would think it strange). Then it occurred to me "I should ask the same thing, and should ask him how many kids he has" (partially because its the thing to do, partially because I actually do wanna get a better picture of what the guys life is like), but it occurred to me that then that would be inviting him to invade my space more with more personal questions, and like that.... . Its not like the conversation was a disaster. But the same old viscious cycle is there.

So the good news is that I relate. The bad news is that I don't have a silver bullet to tell you about to instantly break free of it. Just stuff to nibble at it around the edges. Like fib a little bit. Say that you major in "Sociology" because that usually stops folks in their tracks. Lol! Or the stuff I said above about how you can just let the other person talk, you just listen. Dale Carnegie type stuff.