joe_ls622 wrote:
Do you ever find yourself being jealous of people who are socially successful and likable and popular?
Because the way I feel sometimes, seeing how unpopular I am and how every time I hang out with friends I am either treated like a ret*d or expected to do something I really can't do (like talking to a bunch of random strangers). It seems like there's no way of winning as an autistic adult in such a neurotypical world where being social and popular is considered being succesful. For example look at super famous YouTubers and see how people refer to them as succesful. And I guess they are, because they make tons of money with their videos and they don't have to look for a job and hope you get a decent pay cause they are billionaires. And I kinda wish I could be like that just filming videos and making money without having to go through applying for jobs, risking being unemployed for a long time or risking to get fired or never be valued and liked and stuff like that.
Or, offline, if you know someone popular like a friend of yours having lots of friends and being respected and liked no matter what they do, simply because they are social and outgoing and extroverted and somewhat popular and you feel like they have it easier in life because of that, at least socially.
I'm not saying I would like to be a popular person cause popularity = attention and I do not want a lot of attention because it would freak me out. I'm a very private person and being autistic too, I wouldn't like a crazy amount of attention, neither in real life nor on the internet.
That said, I also wish I was valued more instead of being seen as a weird antisocial freak who's "smart" and knows languages and computers and is brainy and stuff, like...please. I don't want to be stereotyped like that and being valued for knowing a lot of things. It doesn't matter to me since most people still treat me like a child or a ret*d but expect stuff at the same time, things that I can't really do easily and that go against my nature, such as going out and expecting me to automatically make friends and socialize.
Rant over, I don't even know if this makes sense, but I would like to hear your opinion.
Not really. Occasionally I wish I had incepted some of those ideas and followed through on them but the fact of the matter is I didn't have the creativity to think up the content they did, the resources to produce it or the energy to put up with the negative aspects of being a popular Youtuber. I don't care for the criticism or drama that can come along with it either, or the stress I would be under if I tried to go against my nature to an excessive amount. It would be hard work for me while it might be emotionally harder for someone like Onision to not be popular. Some people are histrionic. They have to be the center of attention or they are stressed. The problem famouse Youtubers face is they have to keep thinking up viewerbase promoting or maintaining content in a fast moving world, and they can quickly fall out of favor. They are in a constant battle to stay relevant and for most of them, their popularity is temporary. I've see the viewer base of previous Youtubers rise and peak and then drop off such that the person eventually stopped making content, deleted most of their videos, and some left Youtube all together.
I prefer to just go about my life and sometimes I may be popular for various reasons and sometimes I may not be.
There are things I have aspired for, however, and have put in the time and energy and resources and have failed for reasons relating to external factors beyond my control. That is always disappointing but that is life.
01 Jul 2018, 6:31 am
