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Okay so maybe its just me but expressions are something I dont understand ??? Does anyone else struggle with phrases? I recently lost a friend because while they were joking around and told me to “f off” I took it literally and quit talking to them for a month now they ended the friendship so idk how to make myself understand social cues? I lack them so badly

Sorry to hear about losing your friend. I'm autistic and it is genuinely difficult for us to "read" social cues. Neurologically typical folks instinctively get those sorts of communications - whether they are joking around or serious when they say "f off". Friends or people in groups will often "rib" each other and "yank each other's chains" with mild insults said in a joking tone of voice and with a mirthful facial expression. And it can be hard for us to detect a change in tone - if a conversation goes from being joking to being serious or vice versa. It's still sometimes hard for me and I've learned to be super-observant because I lack the social instincts of most people. I watch their eye movements, if they knit their brows, the shape of their eyebrows, how much they blink their eyelids, the shape of their mouth and lips, their body language (especially their hands and posture) and I listen closely to their tone of voice. It can be exhausting if it goes on too long. I have face-blindness (prosopagnosia) so I have to watch the parts of their faces. Over the years I've practiced watching all these communication signals in relatively safe settings and at work and I learned to detect the person's mood and whether they're serious or joking, whether they're sharing something vulnerable or emotionally heavy. With people who knew me and settings that were safe I could ask them what they meant to check my interpretation and I could experiment a little in my responses. I've gotten pretty good - to where most people don't suspect I'm autistic and can't really read them instinctually at all. I occasionally make mistakes and I've had multiple people get in a huff and walk off. And it's a lot of work processing and analyzing all the information. But experience and careful study was what worked for me over time. I also read books about body language which were helpful, but I found that although there's a lot in common, each person has something of a unique style. And especially when I'm first getting to know a person I adopt a sort of positive, slightly happy, slightly smiling, moderately upbeat mood that works in a lot of circumstances when I can't yet read the person. I also have spent tons and tons of time carefully watching how people react to each other. This is the only way I know how to understand social cues - I just don't have the brain wiring to do it the fun, smooth and easy way that NTs do.