Living Independetly and starting a relationship.

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I will be moving near Burbank this Saturday. I've been living with my parents after moving from Pomona to help out my ailing mother and save the money from rent, but living with parents is becoming unbearable.

I still need to work for my parents part time for some extra incomes. But my main source of income is the disability compensation from the VA. Somehow I am narrowly eligible for 100% compensation and that helped me tremendously. It's not quite enough for living in Los Angeles but I can budget and I am allowed to have some odd jobs to supplement my incomes.

A few years ago my then psychiatrist diagnosed me with Asperger's Syndrome, or high-functioning autism. Now I know how much it took a toll in my life. It's been almost 10 years since I had a meaningful relationship. Since then I got so withdrawn and couldn't ask anyone out. One major reason why I am moving out far from my parents is to find someone to date and eventually marry.

One major hurdle is that I can't approach a girl. Funny thing is that if a girl, especially a very pretty one, talks to me first then I can be a real good conversationalist without getting her bored. But I just can't initiate a conversation. To make matters worse I became extremely picky when it comes to girls. I moonlight as an extra for TVs and films. I see beautiful women all the time so my standard became super picky. Now I don't get booked as much as before but I do get snatch some juicy gigs. I guess I am not a bad looking guy since I worked for Grey's Anatomy for nearly seven seasons total.

But eventually it all comes down to the fact that I can't pick up a girl.

Can you approach women whom you don't find overwhelmingly attractive? I think you should start there and just get to know women. Get comfortable with them and hopefully you'll feel like we are not scary.

And you never know. You may meet an ordinary girl who is pretty special to you.

I get really intimidated unless the girl is completely unattractive. I feel comfortable talking to women who are utterly unattractive to me.

It's difficult to explain why but I think I am conditioned to think girls find it repulsive if I like them. Must be some childhood trauma mixed with religious indoctrination.

Self consciousness.

I was bullied at school so I get it. That feeling of not being good enough.

My friends tell me that I am good enough and it's all in my head.

I'm not sure what the solution is. I can talk to men I find attractive if they are talkative people themselves. Which seems to be few and far between. I live in the UK. People are too reserved here. I need to meet a talkative foreigner who knows nothing of British stuffiness.

To be fair I'm not really that fussy about looks. I'm not only attracted to movie star level so i have a wider selection than you, but even then I feel awkward because of past rejection. I just don't expect things to go well which is an idea reinforced by past experience.

Have you tried counselling? It's a genuine question. You are building your own barriers. You may need someone else to help you deconstruct them.

Correct. Self consciousness. Also having some very visual thinking process with unhealthy dose of pessimism didn't help either.