Finding a place in life

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Where do you see your place in the world? Do you have a goal right now? Because I don't. I don't have a job I really want, I don't want a family, I don't know what I'm living for right now. Actually I'd probably be content with just living in a small house in a calm place without neighbours and surfing the internet all day, but I'll have to go work somewhere to get money. Why couldn't I have been born into a rich family!

I feel a kind of hopelessness concerning my future. I know I will always be different and always have problems with people, I know there will always be annoying noises... I don't see how I could ever find a place in this world. When I think about how I will have to find a job in a few years I don't know whether I should laugh or cry, because all internships I did so far were terrible. The only job I could imagine for me right now would be singing teacher, but I doubt I'd earn enough to survive.

Do you feel the same? Does anyone feel like he has found his place in the world?

I feel exactly the same

I feel that I don't belong to this world, I'm not a part of it.

It gets depressing after a while, instead of just stressing and depressing like an overstimulating life. I lived like this for years (alone, with the exception of occasional hanging out with a couple of friends) and I'd say that I would have been a lot of happier during those times if I had exercised and had some small routine to follow.

For many Aspies, I think that following the middle path between doing nothing and overstimulating yourself would be the best. Well, it's true for everyone but I'd imagine an NT would be less prone to the negative effects of heavy stimuli, and likewise an AS would be more compatible with doing nothing (but even for them, depression will creep in after a while if you keep living like that).

As for company, aim for similar people at any costs. Hanging out with people who expect you to behave "normally" will only result in exhaustion and depression (though it can't always be avoided because of work etc.).

I suspect one of my friends of having AS, it's incredible how easy it is to communicate with him when compared to anyone else I've met. It's like there is no wall of awkwardness like with the other people, and we almost never look each other in the eyes either and it feels natural.

Find a cheap quiet place to live and drop out

Nothing to be gained amongst the noise and rabble of a western city, unless you like being in a crowded chicken farm where all the angry chicken are pecking each other. Cities are good if you earn top money, shite if you dont

I have no real place in life and no sense of belonging and I felt this since 1974. Even though during those times allistic people thought autism was a learning disability and since 1977 I never had a single genuine friend which hampered my emotional development also I do not like crowds and I do not know what job would be suitable for me because I do not like new faces due to the anticipation of aspiphobia and unfair expectations to act like an allistic person which I am not. Living in a big town is very much like being a battery chicken.

Cant you move?

I used to hate Reading, but I visited my friend there on a barge boat and it seemed like a nice place to live, especially on a boat when you can move back and forth between Kennet and Thames and go out into the countryside. Most of the barge people have low incomes. But it seems like a nice life.

I know I belong in this world, but I feel I only exist. I'm too shy to meet people, and the friends I do have just came along out of luck, rightfully I should have more than what I have. I want to be a bus-driver but it's easily said than done, I need at least 3 years of driving experience first but I can't even afford a car to begin because nobody will give me a chance in any employment because I'm an Aspie, so I guess I'm quite stuck.

I am looking for my place in the world too. I have a family, but that doesn't make me feel as though I've found my place - I know a lot of people seem to think it should but I don't understand that. I can't help being creative and ambitious, it's in my nature. I want to make my mark: not so much make money as find some appreciation, make a contribution. I obviously don't fit into a normal workplace very well, but I still have a dream of finding one that is compatible or being self-employed.

If you think being a singing teacher would be good for you, go for it. It's possible to survive on a lot less money than people think, and worth it if it means controlling how you spend your time (if you ask me).

Well ultimately I'd like some secluded land, self sufficient renewable energy like solar panals maybe a wind mill whatever.......and a green house in which I can grow all the awesome plants I want as many have uses and some are just really cool to look at. However I really have no idea how to get there so in some ways I am in the same position.....I don't know my place in this world or whatever and I don't know if I'll ever find it.

Right now just trying to find some work or whatever because that seems like a starting point...but yeah I mostly feel lost and confused about life.

Hm.. I never felt that I really had a place in this world, but what was really bugging me was that I feel that everyone else did.

Recently I figured out that they don't. No one do, and people are usually just content with their lifes because they never stop to think about it, or they fool themselves to believe that if they just get that new TV, or some bigger house, then everything will feel better..

This was an awesome discovery, because I stopped looking for some place to belong, and just do whatever makes me feel good. I have a few friends, study computer sience (which I love!), read books, listen to music, work out, and work a relativly sh***y (but tolerable) job as a security guard in the meantime to get enough money to get by.

Point being, you just have to live for yourself. Finding the middle path where you social just so much that you don't get depressed, work with something that is tolerable and earn you money, and do whatever makes you happy (or figure out what does) for the rest of the time

I don't know what I want to be. I have never known. I tried to figure it out. Like an idiot.

Because it doesn't matter. It's not something I can figure out, it's not something I should figure out. I don't know what I want to be.

But I do know what I DON'T want to be. That's more then enough.

There is no place for me. At work I can only do what I'm hired to do; at home I can only do what my family wants from me. There is nowhere that I can be who I really am except when I steal a few minutes. But then I feel guilty because giving something to myself means taking it away from someone else, like my employer or my family. It will have to be paid for somehow.

TC, could you be a music teacher at a school? A lot of music teachers also freelance teach a more specific musical skill. It even gives you a pool of potential singing students to advertise to. You can do it in a small town too.

As for myself, I must publish fiction. It's the tool I have that can change the world enough for me to be successful in my own mind. I am quite determined.

I actually do have goals right now. I know where I want to live, what job I want, etc. One thing that I worry about is not finding friends when I'm living on my own. Right now, friends are introduced automatically through school and other stuff. But when I'm on my own, I think it will be hard for me to make friends.

It wasn't until around the time I reached 30 that I started getting a clue, mainly from a delayed interest in alcohol. Gratefully that interest didn't last long but at the time it felt as if all the secrets of the universe were finally being revealed to me. I've managed to get to a place where I feel I am an entity but I can't help but wonder if life would have been easier at this point if I had the insights at 15 rather than in my 30s. What was tough in my case was I had the additional pressure of my mom remarrying an extremely alpha man who was 3 years older than me when I was 17

I currently have dieas but I have no idea how I am going to find new friends to replace the ones that left or what I think I am capable of in the world. Seems I'm stuck in a world not meant for me often.