Girl who used to bully me now has son with HFA

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There was this girl at school who used to pick on me as a teenager. She'd come up from behind me and shout in my ear to make me jump, then her and her friends would laugh. She also showed me up in public, and was often just mean. I hated her. Now I heard her 6-year-old son has just been diagnosed with HFA. He's at mainstream school and is struggling with making friends. So if her child gets bullied sometime in his school life, she will be upset because no parent likes their child being bullied. Then she will realize how it felt for me.

Sorry, just thought I'd share that.

Yep. She will now understand how you felt.

This has happened to just about every person who took advantage of me because of my Aspergers. They all have kids on the spectrum. Karma's a b***h. I'm just sad that the kids have to suffer because of the misdemeanours of their parents.

I'm glad you shared!

Sorry to ruin the fantasy, but bullies tend to believe that their bullying was either "Just a Joke" or that their victims somehow deserved to be bullied. No bully that I've ever encountered -- whether or not I was their victim -- has ever expressed remorse or regret for the way they treated their victims.

The mother in the OP's post will likely be so selfishly focused on her own "misfortune" at having a child with HFA in the present that she will hardly remember the OP at all. And if the OP confronts the woman (i.e., "You did to me what they are doing to your son."), she will likely deny everything and claim that the OP is just being mean.

I experienced this at an impromptu mini-reunion back in the 1990s.

Karma.

I once saw a "bully" on Reddit talking about how this was this boy he liked and they were friends and he always teased him and made jokes and he liked it. One day he wasn't in school and he finds out this boy had transferred because he thought he was a bully and this "bully" was shocked and hurt and confused. If he felt that way, why did he join in with his humor and laugh about it and why he didn't say anything about it was beyond him.


I have the word in quotes because I am only hearing one side and the fact he seemed to express remorse. He never got to make amends to clear up the misunderstanding. Reminds me when I was in 5th grade, how one of my friends used to pretend to be British so she spoke with a fake accent and I always called her Anita for it and she would play along with it so I would call her Anita and role play with her. In 6th grade, she has told everyone how I was mean and kept calling her Anita and I was totally baffled. To this day I still don't understand and I wonder why would she play along with me if she thought I was mean? Role playing gone wrong. I still hate people who act like things are okay and then go behind your back and label you as a bully without even saying anything to you first about your behavior and why even play along if you don't enjoy what they are doing? That is misleading the person and leading them on making them think you are enjoying it and having fun with them when you share the humor and laugh about it and then do your own. I just cut these people out if anyone does this s**t. Passive aggressive back stabbers who pretend everything is okay and then go behind your back and claim you are a bully.

I think it's kind of sad to be honest. I know it's kind of hard to forgive somebody for bullying you all your life but now this kid of hers will be most likely going through the same thing you did and that's not fair to her kid. I also don't think that she wants her kid to suffer through life so it'll be hard on her too.

Likely for the same reasons that SOME rape victims may "go along" with the rapist's attack and then don't say anything about it -- fear of people who "blame & shame" them, fear of consequences (more bullying), poor self-esteem ("I'm worthless / I deserved it"), feeling hopeless/helpless ("No one cares about me"), et cetera.

I couldn't tell my parents about being bullied at school for fear of being punished for getting beat up, and I couldn't tell the teachers at school about being abused at home for fear of further abuse.

When I was very young, sometimes my classmates would trip me, especially if I was carrying something like a lunch tray in the cafeteria. I would lose my balance and fall to the ground and the contents of what I was carrying would scatter on the floor and create a big mess. Other students would gather round to see what happened and begin to laugh. Someone would call me a klutz. At a young age, I didn’t even mind that they laughed. So I might act goofy later just to make them laugh at my expense, because I liked inclusion into my peer group. This was similar to the motivation in becoming a class clown.

So I was severely bullied in school. I know the taste, smell, fiery red color buried deep in the heart of bullying. But some reactions such as someone coming up behind me and making me jump, is not always bullying. It can sometimes be like a game of tag, you're it.

... especially when they died without ever saying, "I'm sorry".

Let 'em rot.

Except the kid did go to the teacher or to his parents for being "bullied" and he got transferred, that is still what doesn't make sense so the "rape" analogy doesn't go.

And as for "rape." Yeah the woman grabbing the guy's cock and laughing with him and making sex moves while they are both being intimate with each other and having a good time, they also piss me off when they cry 'rape' so I think they do deserve flak for it because what they do is so despicable. But these cases always get dropped by the police thank goodness. Puh-lease, if I went out with a man and I started to make out with him and grabbing him down there and he grabs me back and we are both enjoying it and then we have sex and I went along with it, I was not raped. Only reason why a woman might go along with it is because they are trying to cover what they did so their spouses won't find out or maybe they come from a religious family so they are trying to cover it so they cry rape so no one will be mad at them for cheating or for doing a sin. Lying about rape makes more sense except it can destroy the guy's life. Even if it doesn't, the damage is still done because he then ends up with trust issues and may have sexual issues now because he would be too afraid to have sex or too afraid to go along with it and have a hard time trusting women and that leads to relationship issues. Then he can't even talk about it without being accused of being a rapist because well everyone assumes men are rapists so they will make that automatic assumption on him. After all, it's impossible for women to make such a accusation even though those cases are rare according to statistics. Yep you suffer alone. I also wonder what happens if they were both drunk, they have raped each other so if the man is going to be charged, the woman should be charged too for rape.

I hope her little boy goes through his childhood without getting bullied, but because he has a disability he is at higher risk of being a target for bullies, unfortunately. And, yes, I'm very sure the mother won't remember me and won't feel remorseful if he does get bullied, but she was quite a nasty girl at school and bullied others besides me, so she might suddenly hear her conscience. She's a rather chavvy girl so I could see her getting angry with the school if her boy does get bullied.

Someone who bullied me drove into a wall in his new sports car and broke his neck. Ouch. Probably not Karma but I did wonder if having people helping him bathe and eat would make him less bombastic.

I hope she's changed and doesn't treat her son the same way.

So true. Tipping my hat to this.

The other thing is one person's idea of a harmless joke is another person's idea of cruelty. Everyone has different sensitivity levels, and it doesn't help when the more sensitive person doesn't open up about being hurt but goes along with bullying out of fear, for example, of being outcast.

This doesn't help bullying to stop either.

Well I read that in cases of prison rape the male victim does pretend to go along with it out of fear of being violently attacked or even killed. When you become a target in prison for gang rape and assault the guards do very little to help you and if you actually report it to anyone you will get you branded as a "snitch" which can mean a death sentence.

So these "prison b****es" that everybody loves to make fun of only go along with it for their own survival. And they are not always pedophiles like people want to believe (because if it's just child molesters who are targeted that somehow makes this behavior OK). Any man in prison who is physically weak, young, or homosexual or transgender can become a target for prison rape.

What really sickens me is that society has turned that into a big joke.

Anyways I'm sorry if this is off topic I just wanted to respond with my own comment to the subject of going along with rape