Living with parents at 29. Right or Wrong ?

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I live at home still with parents, I pay them money to live, I go to work but I still seem to think it is to some people that's abnormal in 2018 still live parents in the mid to late 20s. It does my head in, and maybe it was seen as abnormal 50 or 60 years ago I don't know about now. One of my grandparents got married and moved out when they were 20 and 21, I feel right now no interest to want to leave as I am not in a relationship with anyone and I don't feel the need to move and get a place all on my own, I feel quite happy being where I am, I think I would feel lonesome without living in a flat on my own and even the parents have said that to me. Someone did suggest to me once to try assisted living but I don't want that as I seem to think I am going to have a carer around with me all the time to assist me when I am able to do certain things myself and on my own initiative.

It is neither wrong nor right. As long as you and your parents are okay living together, there is no problem with it

Not that this is of much relevance, but I think that in Asia it is common for adults to keep living with their elders.

It's wrong, so very wrong, the police will come and arrest you.
I'm kidding.

No, it's not wrong to live with your parents at 29. You start so many threads asking the same sorts of questions about your age.

I was with mine until I was 27. Here in England that's no longer uncommon because the house prices are so high and people are not getting married until later.

While there is nothing specifically wrong with living with your parents, there may be a perception among potential employers, friends and lovers that there may be something wrong with you.

I still live at home with my father (my mother died in 2011) at 54 years of age. However, I am doing more for myself, things I wasn't doing as recently as six years ago. I don't know if I will ever be ready to move out on my own, and worry about taking care of the house after my dad passes away. I worry that I will need assistance to live on my own. Every setback, or thing undone, makes me feel as though I'm still that very backward person I was back in 2011-2012.

I hope I live a long time, because it will take me forever to finally get it all together. I would love to date and someday get married, but I fear no man would want me if he knows how much work there is still to be done. I would need to really improve on the basic skills I've learned.

As long as you give them money, I don't see anything wrong with living with your parents.

It would be better if you had some privacy, though. And a separate entrance, if possible.

I didn't like living under my mother's "rules," so I moved out when I was 20. I used to give her money from the time I was 18 till I moved out. It was embarrassing for me to tell girls that I lived with my mother.

It's much harder for people to move out these days than it was in the early 1980s. People understand this; there is not as much "judgment" of adults living with their parents than there used to be.

In Nassau and Suffolk County in New York State, over half of adults 24-35 years of age still live with their parents or parent.

I moved out when I was 32. I would have moved up sooner if there was subsidised housing for younger people.

I am 25 years old and still live with my parents. We all get along very well together and we don't have a huge family (I'm an only child with not that many relatives). I have very few friends and I am not in a relationship. Also, it's very difficult to move out these days with the housing situation. I believe that in Italy/Spain it is very common for adults to live with parents. I would say that it's not worth getting too worked up over.

My wife lived with her parents until she was either 29 or 30. She supported herself during that time. She was a "surprise" baby as she was born when her parents were already older than couples normally are when they have children. Her parents, therefore benefited from having her live with them.

After we met I did suggest that she move out on her own. Not for selfish reasons on my part, since I had my own apartment, but so that she could live independently if even for a short time before we got married. She moved into an apartment and lived with a roommate for about a year before we got married and she's glad she did.

OP, since you're paying your own way, I see no problem with you living with your parents. Paying your way shows that you are capable of living independently.

My grandparents had a rule for my Mom and her brothers when they were growing up and that was that they had an option of continuing to live at home after age 18, but as soon as they turned 18, they had to pay rent. I definitely think I'll institute the same rule for my own children when they get to be that age.

I cannot speak to the accuracy and/or bias of this https://www.aviva.com/newsroom/news-rel ... ars-17767/

It would seem that you are far from alone (so to speak)

I was not ready to make adult decisions at 16; but I had no choice. It really is a matter of NOT being dependent on anyone. Plus, people are so loud and intrusive.

Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed! theirs many people your age or even older that still live at home, sometimes it makes financial sense. Not everyone can afford to live on there own. I've known of people in there 40's that live at home with there elderly parents and they look out for them and they do them. Living at home doesn't make you any less of an "adult"

I live in subsidised social housing and struggle to manage on a daily basis;
All of this is because I was kicked out/had to leave my parent's home because of family dysfunction and suffering abuse from a family member.

If I'd had the option to stay at my parent's home and sort my life out, believe me I would have.
I just didn't have that option

This meant a lot of time taken up just trying to survive and seek accommodation elsewhere, which is not desirable as an autistic person. It meant I wasn't able to develop in other ways because all of my attention & energy has been focused on merely surviving

It depends whether it's helping you or hindering you living there at home
People with autism struggle to live completely independently in general

Certainly I think that you're lucky to have been given the choice, however no, you should not feel embarrassed or ashamed.
It's up to your parents.

If you choose to take that option then you either can't realistically leave and live elsewhere, don't want to, or don't have to. It's not really a matter of being ashamed

It's easy to become extremely isolated living alone in a flat, so I think in light of that you are almost certainly doing the right thing to stay with them


Unless living with friends is possible for you

I agree with this. My mother allowed my abusive older brother to live with her until he was age 32 without paying any rent whatsoever;

He is subsequently not a proper grown up and is like a child.
He is not autistic and could have lived independently if he had chosen to or been forced to.

She enabled him to behave like a child and never grow up. He doesn't behave like an adult or have any concept of how hard it is for many people struggling to find accommodation and live alone

He only left because he moved in with his wife

I'm autistic, significantly handicapped, and she kicked me out. I also simply had to leave because my brother was verbally abusing me on a daily basis so badly.
I had to struggle for years with severely impaired executive functioning (for example) and so on, including living in homeless hostels.

So whilst I now am only able to be independent due to social housing, my whole concept of being alone & scraping by, surviving & managing & living independently is much, much further developed than his, despite the fact that I've had a severely handicapping illness to deal with, and he has not.

It's all pretty shocking

So yes I think it's bad for a healthy, non-handicapped person to be given the message they can sit in someone else's house and behave how they like and never have to leave for as long as they want.

Buying food for them, washing up for them. That's not creating an adult. It turned my brother into a kind of oversized child monster.
As far as I'm aware he now let's his wife do everything for him in her flat