Removing The Masks?

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Should one remove the masks or repair them?
As my masks have been breaking, I have been feeling vunerable.
On the one hand, unmasking is going to be a very, very long process. The thought of doing it... Well.. I don't think I'm ready for it. BUT, I am already unmasking as I can't keep them up... As I am in a fragile state, masks have broken.
I'm not sure who I am. I don't know how much I mask except to know I mask in many ways....
I have had the rare days of unmasking where I have felt free, and this involves enjoying a lovely walk in a scenic area...

Masking.... repair or remove?

I'd say repair, but if they're too far gone you may have to replace one at a time (if that's feasible). You may be vulnerable during the process, but it will be better than no mask.

It is a difficult one isn't it, as without masking, I don't even know how to function... I am soo concious about how I walk. How I am seen etc, etc. Because when the automatc masks fail, I need to concentrate on manually impliamenting them, and manual masking takes soo much thought and monitoring my every movement... And as I feel burntout and vunerable, I find I can't do this so easily anymore.

I would absolutely love to unmask and be energy efficient and stress free BUT I fear what this actually means. How I would look and be percieved!
I don't know to what extent that I mask. I simply do not know!

I would love to de-mask in all situations. Mainly at work. The things I would like to stop feeling that I have to do or feel like I can do them:

> Eye contact. I would love to stop forcing myself to do eye contact mainly when I'm talking because that's when it's most difficult (when I'm visualizing my picture thoughts before I speak).
> Facial expressions (I normally have an expressionless face when I talk)
>Inflection. I prefer something closer to a monotone.
>Vocalizations. I would prefer to make my subtle sounds and noises while walking around in the office thinking about things.
> Stimming. I would like to use my stress ball (it's silent) during office meetings.

Don't know what one may mean removing any social masks. Never been there much myself because I choose not to.
So I'm no expert in masking AND unmasking.
In case of those who masks for the sake of being social, the automatic response of having to putting whatever the weight of social conditioning manually up...

Depends on you, really.
I won't say that you should stop worrying and stop being afraid, and outright get rid of it since I've been against the idea from the beginning. I cannot tell people to stop being anxious about making any decisions, nor tell people they should do as I would.

If you wanna be the as authentic as any personality that compromises -- to 'repair' masks as you say, then learn how to take the conditioning well instead of needing to put it up at any demand. Make the 'load' lighter than mentally straining yourself.
Which may include some sensory accommodations, time offs and any sort of social compensation.
And a little mental note that no 'mask' is perfect -- so lighten up a little by just simply able to blend. It's not as simple as it sounds if someone just feels vulnerable.

If you want them down, there are two ways apparently: either breakdown hard enough it breaks and regress hard enough that you can't wear them by wearing the weight of the mask too often. Of course this is not recommended.
Or observe it and peel it off slowly -- think therapy helps with this process, and yes it takes a lot of time by most accounts.


In my own case, I'd like undoing any sort of conditioning. If the ego's personality itself is actually a mask (instead of the authentic ego's personality masking for society's expectation), then that's what I'm going to do.
Even if as like most autistics, that social conditioning doesn't stick well and had to manually put up at every demand... There's still predispositions and conflicting self's demands.
And one of the my demands is not being social though. So no social masking in my part, only to go as far as to blend if not do more if every ideal sets of conditions are met.

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You have good points here, Edna. Such as "peeling the mask off slowly".

There is no reason, for example, that I couldn't bring my stress ball into meetings at work. Most of the time I'd be using it with my hands under the table. I wouldn't even have to make note of it and if someone did, I could just say that it helps me to think.

The eye contact, expressions and vocalizations would be harder to just stop or start doing without explanation.

Eye contact... It is something that I tend to avoid. However, I will make it but not when I am in conversation.. I do now and agai during a conversation so the other person does not think I am ignoring them, but it will be smaller glances during the conversation.

Recently I was rather embarissed. I went into a drop in centre to ask questions. I was quite nurvous. Amazingly I opened up.

Looking back I am embarissed, because as I opened up (And I disn't realize this at the time) I wasn't always making eye contact. I don't know what they think of me as I wanted to make a good impression. I just forgot while I was concentrating on opening up.

I fear that it may not have been a good idea. I should have waited. But I was soo worked up and vunerable, that it was a bit of a determined cry for help. I am not normally like that. I am normally one to let others go first and silently wait... I seem to be a suffering in silence sort of person who only asks for help long after others would. I don't like to be seen as being vunerable.
on this site I don't mind to open up. It is like this is not really real so it is fine? But in real life, things are different.

Masking... It is soo scarey when I suddenly realize the masks are collapsing. It is terrifying as these masks have taken me years to build and perfect.

I am able to remove more masking because since I have developed physical disabilities. Acting differently when physically disabled is much more accepted. Even though my physical disabilities limit me in frustrating ways I am a happier person because I don't need to pretend to be normal nearly as much.

While happier it makes me angry also. This is pretty f****d up when one thinks about it. I can only how much better my life would have been prior to my physical/health issues if there was a lot less masking involved

I would suggest that you try, as much as possible, to arrange your life so as to minimize conformist social pressures. See my post here.

Redesign masks.
Leave the parts that let you communicate with people better.
Drop the parts that hide who you are and what you feel.

Yes. Redesigning is a plan. Though, avoiding masking enviroments is a much better plan.

Not mutually exclusive.

Mutual... The same as? Exclusive. Not the same as. Never understood what it means, sorry. My comprehension of languages...I speak English... None other earthly languages... But I keep to simple words and terms. Ummm.

Do you mean "All encoumpassing?" "Everyone does it?"