Interacting with people who do not believe in germs

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I have OCD and hypochondria, but I also know when objectively there is reason to worry about transmission of virii/bacteriae. Often with family members, I get scolded/berated/etc. for being cautious around germs. For example, when someone sneezes or coughs and they have cold/flu I often wear a mask or otherwise try to avoid them. But then they tell me that I am stupid or worrying too much.

When eating, I get scolded if I say that I prefer my meat well done and not rare. Or for refusing to shake hands when someone just sneezed on their hands, then immediately after offers a handshake.

In one of my other threads, when I was a teenager during a family gathering at my aunt's house, she cleaned up after her dog, which had just defecated. However, she did not wash her hands thereafter. Instead, she took an orange with her bare hands, peeled it, sliced it into pieces then offered me a piece. She got offended when I declined. Internally, I was thinking, "Are you f*cking kidding me?". After I declined, she ate the orange herself, even licking her fingers.

Of course, they do not believe in prophylaxis against infection. They tend to be more reckless/carefree, which is the opposite of me.

I often get told about OCD and anxiety, "Just stop worrying. It is as easy as that. Look at me, I have no anxiety, because I never worry about anything." and similar things.

Does anyone have this experience, and did you keep on being cautious around germs?

I have severe emetophobia (fear of vomiting), so I'm very cautious about washing my hands before eating, especially during this time of the year when the winter vomiting bug is going around. Luckily most people I know are hygienic people, particularly women, and they say that I'm good for washing my hands.

I don't see why people should get offended if you refuse to accept their offer of food from dirty hands. They may not worry about it but they need to understand that some people DO worry about it and respect their view. It's nothing personal that you declined her offer. I thought an NT would understand that.

I don't like getting colds either. If my boyfriend shows signs of a cold I avoid kissing him, but thankfully he understands that it's not personal against him, it's just that I don't want to catch his cold. Usually when I catch his colds I come off iller than he is.

I also have emaetophobia, so I understand. I had a lot of problems with vomiting as a child, getting viral gastroenteritis every few months. I probably vomited more as a child than most adults do in their entire lives, even accounting for reckless binge-drinkers. When I studied in university in the UK, I got viral gastroenteritis in winter 2012, and it was two weeks of utter hell. That incident reinforced my fear of germs so much that I now wash my hands until I get cuts from the excess soap and rubbing.

I interact sometimes with people who sometimes refuse to wash their soap with hands, often just putting their fingers under water for one second then call it "washing hands". That really raises red alarm in my head, and then I use gloves and disinfect stuff that they touch. I have no idea how anyone can eat with their hands after that type of "hygiene".

I also wash my hands before eating. I also never eat with my hands. It has to be utensils. I cannot eat the way that people from certain third world countries eat, like from the Indian subcontinent, North Africa, Philippines, Indonesia, Cambodia, Vietnam, etc. like eating rice with bare hands. That sends chills down my spine.

But I get berated for refusing to eat anything with my hands. I eat crisps and popcorn with a fork. They often look at me like I am messed up in the head for this.

I often wonder how I would contain germs if I did have a girlfriend. I would probably do like you did, except I would probably self-quarantine myself in a separate room until the virus went away.

I am probably on the opposite of a hypochondriac. I often eat with my hands, I will pick food that has dropped on the floor and eaten it. I will sometimes eat food months after the date code has expired.

I believe in germs (bacteria and viruses) but I also possess an immune system. By exposing my body to benign bacteria, it keeps my immune system healthy, ready to fight off the dangerous bacteria that I come in contact with.

I am 71 years old and healthy.

As far as cold and the flu, I do try and maintain the humidity levels in the winter when the air dries out. This may provide more protection from the deadly germs than hand washing. A few weeks ago I came across an interesting article that supports that perspective.

Harvard Medical School graduate and lecturer, Stephanie Taylor, is something of an Indiana Jones of medicine. “Anything that seems scary, I say I need to learn more about that,” she explained in a recent interview. While practicing pediatric oncology at a major teaching hospital, Taylor wondered why so many of her young patients came down with infections and the flu, despite the hospital’s herculean efforts at prevention. Her hunch: the design and infrastructure of the building contributed somehow.

She and colleagues studied 370 patients in one unit of a hospital to try to isolate the factors associated with patient infections. They tested and retested 8 million data points controlling for every variable they could think of to explain the likelihood of infection. Was it hand hygiene, fragility of the patients, or room cleaning procedures? Taylor thought it might have something to do with the number of visitors to the patient’s room.

While all those factors had modest influence, one factor stood out above them all, and it shocked the research team. The one factor most associated with infection was (drum roll): dry air. At low relative humidity, indoor air was strongly associated with higher infection rates. “When we dry the air out, droplets and skin flakes carrying viruses and bacteria are launched into the air, traveling far and over long periods of time. The microbes that survive this launching tend to be the ones that cause healthcare-associated infections,” said Taylor. “Even worse, in addition to this increased exposure to infectious particles, the dry air also harms our natural immune barriers which protect us from infections."

Since that study was published, there is now more research in peer-reviewed literature observing a link between dry air and viral infections, such as the flu, colds and measles, as well as many bacterial infections, and the National Institutes of Health (NIH) is funding more research. Taylor finds one of the most interesting studies from a team at the Mayo Clinic, which humidified half of the classrooms in a preschool and left the other half alone over three months during the winter. Influenza-related absenteeism in the humidified classrooms was two-thirds lower than in the standard classrooms—a dramatic difference. Taylor says this study is important because its design included a control group: the half of classrooms without humidity-related intervention.

According to her research, and subsequent studies in the medical literature, the “sweet spot” for indoor air is between 40% and 60% relative humidity. An instrument called a hygrometer, available for about $10, will measure it. Every hospital, school, and home should have them, according to Taylor, along with a humidifier to adjust room hydration to the sweet spot.

Source: This Inexpensive Action Lowers Hospital Infections And Protects Against Flu Season

Not washing one's hands after cleaning after a dog and then eating, with bare hands no less, is certainly not smart, you're definitely right about that. However, if you can't even eat popcorn and such with bare hands, I'd dare say you're a bit too obsessed about germs. Too strong hygiene isn't good for your health either; it'll make it less likely that your body gets the resistance it needs.

By the way, I'm curious of how you think you could ever handle a relationship if you're so afraid of germs, unless you happen to find someone with same fears. Kissing would lead to bacteria spreading as well... and what kind of hygiene would you demand from a partner? Would you demand her to walk around with a mask? These are things that I think you should seriously think about before you find someone you might seriously have a chance with.

Your immune system needs some regular contact with germs to function properly.
Of course, its capabilities are limited, but avoiding any microbes limits them even further.
A common cold every now and then is not a catastrophe to prevent at any cost.
Whenever possible, vaccines are a better way of preventing serious diseases.

Unlike me, it sounds like your rituals don't really disrupt your life and all make logical sense. And not getting sick is good, because then it's harder to make other people sick.

When I was younger, I used to eat with my hands, even lick my fingers. But I continually got all sorts of viral infections. I was averaging maybe five or six viral gastroenteritis infections per year. I was probably vomiting over five times each infection. In addition to flus and stuff, I also remember that I got tongue sores when I ate with my hands. Either inflamed, raised red patches or bumpy white things on my tongue. This all stopped completely when I stopped eating with my hands.

My extended family are on the other extreme of course. They are way more reckless, and I am very overprophylatic.

In terms of relationships, I would hope that she has basic hygiene, i.e. washing hands thoroughly with soap after using the toilet, whether after defecating or urinating. I have heard so many excuses about extended family telling me that you do not have to wash your hands after urinating. I am not sure who invented such a rule.