Why do some people worry about turning 30?

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chris1989
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14 Sep 2019, 5:17 am

I just struggle to understand why though, I mean some definitions say you a young adult until 40 or 41, or until 35 or over and one definition of middle age said it 29 and over. And the definitions of middle age are usually over 40 or 45. So why are they concerned like do or worry like I do about 30? I thought is it because of not still being single and not being married with children and not having a place of their own by then or is it like I feel, like not having achieved a career by then and think like I do you have to achieve everything in their 20s (a career, a house, a girl or boyfriend, children etc). So far I haven't achieved those yet. That's one of reasons why I get envious of those younger people and think they are all are achieving everything and live the high life by 30 (I had a cousin who is 24 and is a lawyer and others who a leaders or managers of business and it makes me feel 'Why didn't I achieve that now?' even though at the same time what they are doing is not really what I want to do. I feel not and when some people say 'I must or you should achieve something before 30' it seems to me as though it implies that you are no longer young and are middle aged by then.



SharonB
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14 Sep 2019, 8:22 am

As you say - that I "should" have achieved certain milestones. The trying to "fit in". My 27th birthday was rough as I was homeless and unemployed (by choice in part, moving). By 30 I had a decent job and apartment so I "fit" enough. My BFF was still underemployed at 30 and that bothered her (a little). At 40 I was beginning to understand I didn't fit the social norm and started to give up those expectations. I think by 50 (soon), I'll own my own way of self. Heck, b/c I'm so exuberant folks think I'm younger than I am anyhow, so standards are lower. :wink:

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Magna
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14 Sep 2019, 8:31 am

I think of the twenties as the end of youth. I'm guessing many others think of it that way as well. I think people think of the decade birthdays as milestones and worry at 30 because death is creeping closer?



kraftiekortie
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14 Sep 2019, 8:39 am

I wish I was 30 again.....that was 28 years ago....



ToughDiamond
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14 Sep 2019, 11:34 am

I think they worry about it because society holds such "age milestones" out as real things, and people have a habit of comparing themselves to others, and another habit of assuming a particular set of achievements (university degree, driver's license, career, spouse, money, brand new car, house ownership etc) is the only worthwhile path to take. I guess in my case it helps that I'm English, because in England there might be a bit more respect for people who choose eccentric lifestyles than there is in the USA, and an eccentric lifestyle is the only lifestyle I can imagine myself ever being happy with.

Sadly I'm not completely immune to such social mores, and I have sometimes felt like I was being left behind or under-achieving, but the greater part of me rejects it all as complete rubbish, and I like myself better when I connect with that part of myself, which is most of the time. Sometimes I think I'd be better off if I didn't know what year I was born, that way I wouldn't have felt scared of getting older every time I hit one of those arbitrary boundaries such as 30. I think the scariest one was 50, which seemed really like the beginning of the "old age followed by illness and death" stage. 30 was a bit of a shock, I felt slightly as if I wasn't quite in the club of young people any more, but it didn't make that much difference.



byakuugan
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14 Sep 2019, 11:38 am

I think it has to do with feminism becoming more prevalent, causing men to subconsciously want to be more like women. Around age 30 is the beginning of a man's life, and the decline of a woman's. Women typically want to get married before age 30, before they begin to lose their looks and fertility and can no longer date the highest quality men. On the other hand, men in their 20s have trouble finding a date, because they must compete with the men in their 30s and 40s who have careers/houses/cars/boats etc. Therefore, a man should look forward to age 30, because that's when dating becomes exponentially easier. The opposite is true for women. Today's men are heavily influenced by feminism, causing many men to think that they need to "live it up" in their 20s, when that is mostly only true for women.



Justin101
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14 Sep 2019, 12:10 pm

Biologically humans are not meant to live past 30. The body, literally, starts dying. Even bone , which grew and maintained itself until the late 20s, is on the descent.

Everything is a decline.
You can slow it, mask it, but biologically your body is saying "what the hell am I still doing here?"

You can kiss goodbye to youth's beauty. I know a few 34 year olds who look reasonably hot but that's like 1 in a 1000 statistically. The Ancient Greeks, interestingly enough, thought of 34 as the threshold, not sure if that had something to do with Alexander the Great , although he died younger than this I believe (too much wine some say).

The 'peak' human age is actually 23 (give or take) but there's still processes of growth into the late 20s.

Sociologically, 30 is the mid point of adult productive life. So all that milestone stuff kicks in and thoughts of death and regrets.

When I hit 30 I asked for no cards or presents on the birthday, although some idiot sent me chocolate. Think I had 2 bottles of wine and, yeah, it passed with the chocolate gone as well.

I see rest of 30, 40 etc as mutating into some wise professor type, something like Dr Strange, and the years could just about be bearable.

What a weird post, sorry :jester:



Joe90
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14 Sep 2019, 12:51 pm

30 seems to be an age where people find it hard to accept their age. A bit like 50. When my dad was going to be 50, he got a bit depressed and was like "how am I 50 already?" But when he turned 60 he didn't seem to feel as bothered about it. So maybe 30 has the same effect on people. Maybe it's because a lot of people remember their own parents being 30 or in their 30s and so we can't believe it when we reach 30 ourselves. At least that's the case with me. My mum was 26 when I was born and so I don't really remember her being in her 20s, but I remember her turning 30.


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kraftiekortie
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14 Sep 2019, 4:06 pm

Cary Grant looked damned good even in his 60s...trust me.



kraftiekortie
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14 Sep 2019, 4:13 pm

It’s not that it’s a “weird” post. It’s that it is not correct to say that only 1 out of 1,000 34 year old men are attractive.

That whole thing about people losing their vigor in their 30s is just nonsense.



ToughDiamond
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14 Sep 2019, 4:52 pm

I've heard it said, and seen some real-life evidence to suggest, that male sexual attractiveness doesn't have much to do with physical appearance anyway, that it's more to do with having a strong, confident, warm, positive and witty persona. Though personally I don't put much value in people's "global" attractiveness, because I've noticed extremely popular celebrities in lousy relationships and seemingly unattractive people in good relationships. There's a limit to the number of partners a person can handle - one is enough for most of us - and I view the whole thing as a matter of horses for courses. I've read that there's something in the idea that "attractive" people get more co-operation from people in general, but I don't think it's the only way of getting what you need. You can dress a pig in a suit, and it's still a pig, but the suit will make a difference with a lot of thickheads, if the pig can lower itself to use such a cheap ploy. Better still, the pig can learn to be a decent person and win people over that way.



kraftiekortie
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14 Sep 2019, 5:05 pm

^^that’s a good way of putting it.

Much better than those cockamamie “theories” floating around.....



MagicMeerkat
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16 Sep 2019, 4:49 pm

Because before the advent of modern medicine and hygiene, it was rare to make it to your 20's.


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Mountain Goat
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16 Sep 2019, 4:53 pm

I have always been 3D.


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kraftiekortie
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16 Sep 2019, 4:56 pm

No, it wasn't.

Many people, even in the old days, lived at least to their 50's/60's, or even longer.

The reason why the "life expectancy" at any given time was, say, 19 years---was because of the extremely high infant mortality rate----like perhaps 200 out of every thousand children died before they reached aged 5 in the old days.

I believe the "true" life expectancy would have been how long one lives after the age of five



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 16 Sep 2019, 5:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mountain Goat
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16 Sep 2019, 4:58 pm

30... Ah... I can't enlarge my screen. Not sure why. Yes. I have been 30. It came and went. I don't remember much about it.


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