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franknfurter
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06 Aug 2014, 4:21 pm

Since I have become agoraphobic in the last couple of months, I have also developed what I can only call separation anxiety.

I can handle being on my own during the day, even then there is slight trepidation but its not overwhelming. Due to a certain circumstance I am being left on my own overnight soon, there Is a friend of my mums staying over with me but I am very anxious about the prospect, I don't even know why I just feel a general panic thinking about sleeping overnight without one of my parents there.

Is this more common in people with Asperger's?

I am now 20 years old, I feel completely ridiculous. :(



Waterfalls
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06 Aug 2014, 4:37 pm

Yes, I think a lot of us are extreme in response to the difficult of relating. I have trouble separating, others here are able to not care too much at all.



1401b
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06 Aug 2014, 5:12 pm

Let me get a lil technical if you don't mind...

Are you nervous because a parent isn't nearby, or is it because no one you KNOW you can trust seems to be nearby? This is kinda two different things.
(I'm not saying that you actually "distrust" or "fear" mum's friend, just that she might not be proven through thick & thin yet)
If you're still "hanging onto mama's apron strings," well yeah that'd be kinda weird, most people would be growing out of that by 20, but I don't quite think that is what it really is.

Because it is VERY normal for people to be nervous/scared/panicky when alone without someone they trust-trust.

We're "herd" animals basically, and the world has a lot of big scary things in it even without worrying about lions, and bears, and tigers.
Trust worthy others increase survivability even of non-aggressive things like hunger, warmth, or assisting with accidents big or small.
Psychological comfort is no joke also. And predictability. Even the psychological aspect of being needed is quite important.
I think you're very normal that way.

People on the spectrum can often see or comprehend more possibilities for things going wrong and usually have more experience with things going goofy.
I'm saying I think it's normal to have the level of anxiousness at being 'alone,' but having Asperger's may make it harder for you to distract yourself and/or to believe "everything is going to be fine."

I don't think you're weird.
I suggest finding some things highly interesting/engaging to do (especially, to do with the stay over friend) as a distraction.

Or beer. =)


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eggheadjr
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07 Aug 2014, 11:13 am

1401b wrote:
People on the spectrum can often see or comprehend more possibilities for things going wrong and usually have more experience with things going goofy.
I'm saying I think it's normal to have the level of anxiousness at being 'alone,' but having Asperger's may make it harder for you to distract yourself and/or to believe "everything is going to be fine."

I don't think you're weird.
I suggest finding some things highly interesting/engaging to do (especially, to do with the stay over friend) as a distraction.


^^^ That is excellent insight and advice.


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skibum
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07 Aug 2014, 2:18 pm

I get extreme separation anxiety if I am not in touch with my brother. It's a very primal response that happens in the very youngest parts of my being, my little kid personality. I believe it's similar to what toddlers go through.


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sorrowfairiewhisper
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12 Nov 2019, 7:08 pm

I have that when I can't talk to my twin flame.



Edna3362
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12 Nov 2019, 7:52 pm

Not me. Not entirely.

A part of me would be aimless and uncertain. Of course this would normally cause anxiety to many. Much so an autistic that relies much on the known.

Yet a part of me would be free to roam and express. Of course this also has it's own cost, like recklessness and responsibility for one.


I've been leaning on the latter for as long as I could remember, and wanted to be free so badly from all the rigidity.
Yet some of my developmental status should be on the former and rely on the rules for 'not knowing better'.


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