How Does One Know If One Is Likely To Be Autistic?

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This thread may help people who are looking for answers. Obviously, one needs to be assessed to be sure that one is or is not on the autistic spectrum. But I am hoping the replies will provide some "Pointers".

Just one aspect, among many ... by looking at your childhood history...

Even as infants, children with ASD may seem different, especially when compared to other children their own age. They may become overly focused on certain objects, rarely make eye contact, and fail to engage in typical babbling with their parents. In other cases, children may develop normally until the second or even third year of life, but then start to withdraw and become indifferent to social engagement.

The severity of ASD can vary greatly and is based on the degree to which social communication, insistence of sameness of activities and surroundings, and repetitive patterns of behavior affect the daily functioning of the individual.

Social impairment and communication difficulties
Many people with ASD find social interactions difficult. The mutual give-and-take nature of typical communication and interaction is often particularly challenging. Children with ASD may fail to respond to their names, avoid eye contact with other people, and only interact with others to achieve specific goals. Often children with ASD do not understand how to play or engage with other children and may prefer to be alone. People with ASD may find it difficult to understand other people’s feelings or talk about their own feelings.

People with ASD may have very different verbal abilities ranging from no speech at all to speech that is fluent, but awkward and inappropriate. Some children with ASD may have delayed speech and language skills, may repeat phrases, and give unrelated answers to questions. In addition, people with ASD can have a hard time using and understanding non-verbal cues such as gestures, body language, or tone of voice. For example, young children with ASD might not understand what it means to wave goodbye. People with ASD may also speak in flat, robot-like or a sing-song voice about a narrow range of favorite topics, with little regard for the interests of the person to whom they are speaking.

Repetitive and characteristic behaviors
Many children with ASD engage in repetitive movements or unusual behaviors such as flapping their arms, rocking from side to side, or twirling. They may become preoccupied with parts of objects like the wheels on a toy truck. Children may also become obsessively interested in a particular topic such as airplanes or memorizing train schedules. Many people with ASD seem to thrive so much on routine that changes to the daily patterns of life — like an unexpected stop on the way home from school — can be very challenging. Some children may even get angry or have emotional outbursts, especially when placed in a new or overly stimulating environment.

I got the impression that I am "too" much of everything: Too expressive, too talkative, too sensitive. I thought Autism was only non-expressive, non-talkative, introverted folks who don't look people in the eyes. I stare when I care and try to avoid a person I don't like. When I started mentioning my suspicion, folks said I was too "warm". So I was taken by surprise when I started to read lists of traits and books written by ASD women and found a near exact reflection of myself: honest, caring, naïve, hypersensitive (or hyposensitive), verbose (written too), internalizing hardships, etc.

My parents said I was normal in childhood (although my mom admits it was unusual that at 5mos I could play for hours by myself stacking rings), but I vividly recall my sensory meltdowns and I read past yearbooks and letters and saw that everybody knew me, but I was mostly alone (content) or lonely (when I needed someone). I had transient friends, transient group membership, always on the outside. "Strange" and "unique" were common descriptors. I didn't show my distress in a way that others understood and by my 20s I was one of the many ASD women that are suicidal, and one of the many ASD students who drop out of college (although I did go back and complete my degree with unofficial accommodations). One friend went so far as to write about how I communicated in a completely different way and a different level than most people. It took 25 years until a licensed professional confirmed that assessment.

I was diagnosed with "mild to moderate" ASD. Still when I take the ASD questionnaires too literally I show up as more NT, which is annoying. Those tests need to be revised to include the extroverts, sensory seekers and more women among us. I do not care about train schedules (NT), but I love activity schedules (not on AS tests). Other women do not tell me I am rude (NT), they shun me (not on AS tests). I love to travel (NT), but I need support to do so (not on AS tests).

I had masked and deluded myself, so was unaware of my difficulties. I knew life was Hard, but not why -I continue to deny/hide my distress - habit I suppose. Now I can see my Sensory, Communication, Executive Function and Learning Disabilities (relative to my Giftedness) challenges more clearly and am taking steps to address them.

To anyone reading this: I wish you well on your journey.