Have people said you're acting "that way" on purpose?

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Jayo
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27 Dec 2019, 9:51 pm

I mean, when you misinterpret "obvious" subtext or intentions, or have to stop to think and ask questions like "when you say...do you actually mean.." or are too blunt to the point of involuntarily insulting someone - that sort of thing, has anyone accused you of like acting bizarre or perverse on purpose? Maybe they said something like "you can't be that dumb, and you're so smart in other ways besides" - almost like cognitive dissonance clashing with confirmation bias... sort of a similar pattern one gets with folks with ASPD/NPD who will act all charming but then ruthlessly cut down the other guy in some way. Albeit admittedly, with us it REALLY IS out of sheer ignorance and not intent to subdue or take advantage of another 8O

Or sometimes they might cynically accuse you of "seeking attention" - again, makes no sense, because the attention isn't self-serving and more likely to lead to negative outcomes. This would be based on another fallacy / bias known as "correspondence bias", the assumption that if someone's a marginal or "less-than" judged on their demeanour, then it follows that they'd want to act out to get attention. Or it's a way of lazily categorizing people with a deemed mental illness. :x

If they ever ask this, I suppose the most succinct and non-belligerent way to counter it would be to look puzzled and ask "Why would I do that? Nobody benefits from that."
Or say "I can't understand why anyone would act 'that way' on purpose, they'd have to be demented or masochistic; it would be like accusing a dyslexic of pretending to have trouble reading as a sympathy ploy, or transposing letters at random in their writing just to piss people off." :roll:



DemophobicKlingon
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28 Dec 2019, 6:57 am

I have had people who have had assumptions like that, especially when I'm at my worst. Back in elementary school, I would get really quiet out of anxiety and not always want to participate. I still get quiet at times when my anxiety gets bad. It's frustrating when people misread things like that, but not everyone is aware of ASD and other diagnoses.

Some teachers and other students thought I was just being difficult for the sake of being difficult. With some of my social awkwardness and not always picking up on social cues, people perceive me as aloof or rude.


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livingwithautism
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28 Dec 2019, 4:56 pm

Yes.



lvpin
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28 Dec 2019, 6:43 pm

Yes especially because how I function can change dramatically based on how stressed I am. I consider myself fairy intelligent but when I am stressed all common sense goes out the window. My friends and family have learnt this is not the case because I tend to get very upset when people ask that, having now developed an anxiety about people thinking I am faking things, something that was worsened when one friend asked if that is something I worry about. They believed me but seemed to realise that not everyone would. Also when I said it can change dramatically, I mean dramatically. I am currently getting over a sickness caused by putting something in my mouth that I really should have cleaned first, I was just so stressed I didn't remember germs are a thing.