This is slightly amusing following my last thread. Anyway, I know that paranoia and anxiety can be quite common with us so I thought I would post it here.
Anyway, as well as the staring thing which I now wonder what counts as abnormal looking at you or not, there are weird grey spaces in between, I constantly feel I am getting signs people are talking about me. When people are suddenly weird with me, I assume it is because they were just talking about me and from only fragments of convos I assume people are talking about me. Any change in behaviour towards me is also taken immediately as a sign that someone now hates me and is too polite to say it.
As you can imagine this makes my life way too dramatic than need be and is going to destroy my ability to form relationships. Today, someone acting weird made me immediately think they were laughing about me behind my back and I was delusional for thinking they could ever like me and by continuing to talk to them I was humiliating myself. I cried it off but boom! The last person I felt comfortable with in my German class is now partially an object of anxiety and I will never be the same with them again. Good going! I already feel like they all secretly laugh at me behind my back and at least one of them doesn't like me anyways I guess... I then found myself accidentally staring at a guy (I'm not attracted to him or anything, we are just almost exactly opposite each other) and started to believe he was laughing at my expense.
I don't want to be constantly dreaming up schemes people probably aren't doing and living in social fear as I slowly make things harder for myself. How do I get over this paranoia and set myself straight? Logically, I believe I am being ridiculous but that doesn't stop me feeling in my core that I am right.
24 Jan 2020, 5:03 pm
