Do you ever feel revengeful or cynical??

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I have always been a revengeful person. Get on my bad side, there was always trouble from my end.

Worst one I ever did was a public hanging, figuratively speaking.

Sometimes you don't need to seek revenge if they are already caught or there are natural consequences for them so no need for revenge if they are getting their karma.

Cynical and vengeful? Those are among my better qualities.

Only on days of the week that end in Y.

It's good to see I'm not alone in thinking about being the topic.

I refuse to give in to cynical ways of thinking.

As for seeking vengeance, two people in my family who I would seek revenge against are my uncles who believe the spectrum isn't real, that the only way for a man to fully "man up" is to enlist in the US Armed Forces (which is something I have no plans on doing), and settle down before doing anything else.

They both are morbidly obese (about 300 LBS each), but they both believe themselves to
be the fittest people in my family.

Only on days of the week that end in Y.

So met a girl who's an nt and like every other one in my life I've come across ( weirdly even other guys to a huge degree) as usual she's wanting me to be someone else , something I've no interest in being and something that is somewhat painful. I can't explain it any other way metaphorically. I realised in this particular instance it's irrelevant about her speech.. I just end up in the same way, physically and mentally. So I'm just going to fight my thoughts of will I or won't I.. I'm just in a state of the most obscure depression and I can say depression cause it's been well over two weeks of constant internal pain anyhow but this is my final straw with nt's, people in general, life, anything, I feel relief inside for some strange reason and this is like a motivator for my final chronological clocks curtain. But I also feel a massive universal black hole that is my everything that once was, could have been, and whatever is left of me. You know your a piece of s**t when he suicide call back service hangs up on you twice. That's reality. No long is it: it is, therefore I am. I learnt that everyone has a BS agenda, fake, liars and don't really give a s**t about humanity and are a**holes better yet.. bastards. All my total of 2 friends don't speak to me are the above and can go to hell for their input in destroying my life and/or not trying to help in anyway whatsoever to improve it. All their actions smell of BS and have only aided in being everything except a friend. I don't even know what one is, so it's probably me. They only want me to remain alive so they can help themselves. Or given what I've gone through.. likely waiting for their insurance policies on me to allow them to successfully take me out. It's probably with. Much assistance from my family.What makes me most livid is they lavish on themselves and rather than help me they choose to refrain from aiding me with coping mechanisms weather legal or not but have no issues with helping themselves and their cliques to f**k my life in the process. Bastards. I hate people and I don't care anymore.. NT or not, they know they do it. They know my condition with ASD yet they still treat me as a science experiment. Bastards are my family n so called friends.

In short, yes there are times where I feel revengeful. The catch is that I must outsmart my targets without resorting to violence. I find weak points in their armor and start by cracking it when I need to. Small things can grow to bigger things if you can get under their skin. This is a slow process, but eventually they tire of being damaged instead of causing damage. I have had decades of experience doing this form of revenge.

As for the people that vocally harass you, I would suggest a voice recorder. Please check the local laws on using one before you record people. Those can be very handy for providing evidence. In a “our word vs. your word” situation, it is better to make it them against their own voices. You can hold an upper card if you play it right. I routinely carry a voice recorder on my job because I have been bullied by a position of power and now have evidence of this issue to give HR when I move on. I might not win the battle directly in a fight, but I will win the war eventually when I leave. Said bully will lose their high position, but I want it to happen at the right time I pick.

When I was bullied as a kid, I would resort to violence automatically since I had violent bullies. In the past, I did some dangerous stuff (used poisons, weapons, etc.) to bullies that would likely get me jail time if I did that today. Growing up, I learned that there is a better satisfaction if you can outsmart them at their own game without needing to resort to their level.