People "Helping"

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I feel bad posting this, because the events of today where purely done for my "benefit". My parents came over for a house project, and there was times when only one of them needed to do something, so they started helping with some other housework. They touched everything... moved this, gone though that, decided certain items needed refrigeration... It's enough to drive my NT wife nuts, but I've been.... unsettled since. I've had trouble leaving my "lair" in the basement since. I mean, it's nice having clean counters, and getting help with some other items... but I just wish they didn't have to move everything around.

Advise? Similar Experiences?

Similar experiences? Damn yes. And worse.

In fact, in my case, might as well be chronic than an eventual thing.

On top of wasting a lot of money on curtains and blankets for almost every 2 months, because it'll just being shat at by the dog downstairs.


Advice? I wish.

I don't even have my own room.
All I have was a small cabinet and some space under the bed and is unsecured, constantly get invaded.
Nor own a quarter of stuff and never touched it -- yet people expects to clean it up as well. On top of touching and messing with my stuff.

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Advice? After they're gone, go around and "fix" everything. Put it back where it belongs.

Phone them up dozens of times over the next few days asking where they left various things. If they don't know, tell them their record-keeping is crap
I have never had that problem, but I had a friend who, as a prank, would quickly hide a tool someone had been using. For me, the biggest hazard is people breaking things they don't know enough about.

I see them as having rather a cheek to interfere like that. Parents do sometimes have trouble letting go of the control they have over their kids. I can see how they meshed it all up with good intentions, but it's your stuff, and I doubt they'd have done such a thing to their peers. Even when my son was a young child, I tended to respect his stuff.

I can still barely cope even when my wife moves things. I was used to living alone and knowing that everything would stay exactly where I left it. There's a lot of "helping out round the house" jobs that I find myself not doing because I don't want to move her stuff. I try to do as I would be done by. To me, other people's stuff is sacred, so if I must pick something up, I make sure I put it back where it was. In my experience guests usually seem to have the same ethic. But I suppose some people have less of a problem meddling in other people's affairs. Come to think of it, during a previous marriage, the parents of that wife used to interfere a lot. They didn't usually move stuff but they didn't have much respect for our ways, and kept trying to run things.

I often used to get my stuff into a muddle, and there was a suggestion for me to hire somebody to tidy it up. I wouldn't do it. There's no earthly way anybody else could know how to do that job to my liking. I'm the only one who can decide what I throw away, what I keep, and where I want to keep it. I'm not good at that, but other people are even worse at it. It's too personal.

Anyway, unless the social standards are very different where you are, I would think your problem is overbearing parents.

A friend of mine gave up on her marriage when she had to move some piles of papers to service the baby. Her husband couldn't handle the loss of information in the arrangement. I strongly suspect that he was an undiagnosed aspie, and that she subsequently gave me a hard time, trying to prevail in a similar relationship.

That exact thing doesnt bother me. Hire a maid to help clean up the place. She has slightly different ideas where things belong. So I have to look for things.

What bothers me is when you're out shopping with someone, and the someone your with kinda just throws merchandise at the check out person thinking it helping the check out person move faster when in fact it slows them down- because the cash register person needs space to first grab each item, find the bar code, then scan the bar code, and then bag the item, in an assembly line process, one at a time, until the pile of stuff is all rung up and bagged.

^^ I knew a guy who was still destroying anything he could in middle age, and children who were very careful.

This is one of the major reasons why I live in my own house. Nothing gets touched. Its bliss. I wish this joy for everyone who needs it.

I wanted to add to the OP - you should not feel bad about not wanting what people are doing as a "favor" for you.
If someone wants to do you a kindness - they should ASK first what kindnesses you want!