I hate that everything has to have a meaning

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BugsBunnyFan
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26 Nov 2023, 12:19 pm

This is one reason I hate chatting with some NTs. Particularly when they’re trying to “get to know me” or figure me out rather than having a genuine conversation with me. I could mention something innocent like the fact that I enjoy studying Finnish. Suddenly they’ll assume a bunch of random BS about me.

One thing they might say is “You must love Finland because you’re an introvert.” I know Finland is known for people being “introverted”, but that’s not the reason I got interested. I also resent being called an introvert or even shy. I’m mainly “shy” or “introverted” around nosy NTs. Not all NTs are nosy, but if they are I’ll end up coming across as shy, introverted and sometimes overly polite.

Any interactions that rely on being asked questions and thinking of questions to ask other people are draining to me. It doesn’t make me an introvert. These interactions aren’t natural to me, so of course I’ll be low energy and “shy”.

I also hate that NTs make my interests my whole personality. At least the special interests. A lot of my special interests don’t make sense together. Probably because I chose them because they’re interesting rather than because of the type of person I am.



BTDT
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26 Nov 2023, 1:27 pm

You could ask about them. A lot of people like talking about themselves.

Hint. Don't take questions literally. Just because they ask doesn't mean they really want to know.
But, they can give some idea into how deep or in what direction they wish to go.
Some folks are quite shallow and you can tell by the questions they ask.
Others have questions that they can't find answers to but would really like to know and would be delighted if they found out someone who can explain it to them

For instance, many gardeners want to grow blue hydrangeas but they won't bloom for them.
I can explain why. :D



NowWhatDoIDo
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26 Nov 2023, 1:28 pm

BugsBunnyFan wrote:
This is one reason I hate chatting with some NTs. Particularly when they’re trying to “get to know me” or figure me out rather than having a genuine conversation with me. I could mention something innocent like the fact that I enjoy studying Finnish. Suddenly they’ll assume a bunch of random BS about me.

One thing they might say is “You must love Finland because you’re an introvert.” I know Finland is known for people being “introverted”, but that’s not the reason I got interested. I also resent being called an introvert or even shy. I’m mainly “shy” or “introverted” around nosy NTs. Not all NTs are nosy, but if they are I’ll end up coming across as shy, introverted and sometimes overly polite.

Any interactions that rely on being asked questions and thinking of questions to ask other people are draining to me. It doesn’t make me an introvert. These interactions aren’t natural to me, so of course I’ll be low energy and “shy”.

I also hate that NTs make my interests my whole personality. At least the special interests. A lot of my special interests don’t make sense together. Probably because I chose them because they’re interesting rather than because of the type of person I am.


That sounds hard. I love when people ask me about my special interests because I find any other kind of conversation to be really difficult. So if I was really into something, it would be really relaxing to be able to talk about it with someone.



BugsBunnyFan
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26 Nov 2023, 1:48 pm

NowWhatDoIDo wrote:
BugsBunnyFan wrote:
This is one reason I hate chatting with some NTs. Particularly when they’re trying to “get to know me” or figure me out rather than having a genuine conversation with me. I could mention something innocent like the fact that I enjoy studying Finnish. Suddenly they’ll assume a bunch of random BS about me.

One thing they might say is “You must love Finland because you’re an introvert.” I know Finland is known for people being “introverted”, but that’s not the reason I got interested. I also resent being called an introvert or even shy. I’m mainly “shy” or “introverted” around nosy NTs. Not all NTs are nosy, but if they are I’ll end up coming across as shy, introverted and sometimes overly polite.

Any interactions that rely on being asked questions and thinking of questions to ask other people are draining to me. It doesn’t make me an introvert. These interactions aren’t natural to me, so of course I’ll be low energy and “shy”.

I also hate that NTs make my interests my whole personality. At least the special interests. A lot of my special interests don’t make sense together. Probably because I chose them because they’re interesting rather than because of the type of person I am.


That sounds hard. I love when people ask me about my special interests because I find any other kind of conversation to be really difficult. So if I was really into something, it would be really relaxing to be able to talk about it with someone.

For me it’s painful that people aren’t actually interested in hearing about my special interest. They just want to categorize me. 99% of people aren’t interested in talking about Finnish. They just want to know what type of person studying Finnish makes me. If I mention more general things like art, people are more likely to truly engage. I just barely have any NT friendly things to mention. I do try to ask people questions, but I notice that a lot of NTs like to suddenly shift the conversation by asking me some random question about how I spend my time.



CockneyRebel
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26 Nov 2023, 10:59 pm

Sweet Pea hugs


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