How to teach an autistic person to drive
I was never allowed to learn to drive at sixteen for reasons I still do not understand to this day. I think my parents are also convinced it was illegal for an autistic person to drive.
I tried several driving schools but they didn't work out because the the teacher would literally scream at me for simple things such as accidently turning off the headlights when putting on the turn signal.
No one at the time would hear me out and would say things like, "If you can't handle your teacher yelling at you what if your passengers yell at you?" Whenever I screamed in the car, my parents would pull over and stop until I calmed down. Why is it acceptable for me to be yelled at while driving? Or "What if you hear a siren?" Sirens don't bother me like angry human voices and in my country, you're required by law to get out of the way if an ambulance or fire truck with the siren on is heading in your direction.
I live in a VERY rural area and every driving school I've checked out only takes teenagers or won't pick you up and drop you off at your home. My mother was teaching me for a while but gave up after my learner's permit expired and says I was horrible at driving anyway. I keep telling her driving isn't a right or a privilege, it's a NEED. Especially when you live in a rural area like we do with NO public transportation system.
I lived in Cincinnati for two years and learned the hard way their public transport system does not cover all of Cincinnati. I had to take two buses in the span of two hours and then walk to my job but my boss and coworkers said it was only a 15 minute ride by car. The main hospital opened at 8 or 9 and by the time I got there, everything was over. The buses didn't start until 8 or 9 so there was no way I could get there on time. I later left due to some things I saw going on there I didn't agree with...such as a cat being netured without anesthesia.
Anyway, after a lot of arguing and not backing down my mom agreed to try again. Trying to get advice on how to teach autistic people to drive but most of the information is for parents of teenagers. I'm 37. I plan to go to uni after I get my license because I don't trust online degrees and what I want to eventually do requires hands on training eventually. But anyway, is there anything my mom should know? I know consistency is the main thing and with "professional" driving schools it's not guaranteed.
I even had one driving teacher have the audacity to ask me why I didn't practice with friends. Seriously? I just moved here and have no friends and am not about to jump in the car with a total stranger and no one's going to let me potentially crash their car.
But anyway, what should my mom know? My mom knows her common sense such as not to scream at me unless I'm directly driving us off a cliff like that scene from Thelma and Louise. But anything she should know? She gets anxious a lot. Says I'm a terrible driver and hurts my self confidence but I've never had much of that to begin with. I NEED my driver's license so I can go to uni/college, veterinary school and things in between to get experience for vet school. I already feel trapped. I always have...especially when I see kids drastically younger than me driving and going places by themselves. I really feel trapped and I hate feeling trapped.
_________________
Spell meerkat with a C, and I will bite you.
As far as I can tell, know the individual's personal learning and cognitive profile first.
Then tailor the lessons according to the profile.
And, in some cases, the practice it shouldn't be something like a one time thing; it can take months or years.
I don't know if that would be expensive or would require something more specialized.
Sirens??? Even that can be worked around with misophonia.
Even the deaf is allowed to drive legally in the states.
So yeah, one can very much get an earplug and an earphone inside the car and drive -- then get the same accomodations like any deaf drivers...
.. That is, if one knows what they're doing.
But two can play that game; why not use your own mom's anxiety against her?
Because all parents worry. And some refuses to let their kids go. Can you persuade some that you can be give enough credit?
And that autism doesn't disqualify someone from driving unless they do have significant learning deficits related to motor and visual processing, or health conditions that impacts their consciousness.
Also being triggered by a yelling teacher doesn't disqualify someone from driving, unless you're the type who cannot drive unsupervised and your main supervisor is a yelling nag.
_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).
Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 29,339
Location: Right over your left shoulder
It took me a long time to get both my lane position and speed consistent. I tended to wobble below the speed limit when I was new. Decades later, I compulsively speed when there's no traffic in front of me.
Your driving school instructor shouldn't yell at you when you make errors. They're not some random passenger, they're a professional instructor. Your folks are wrong and that instructor isn't very good.
That said, you need to familiarize yourself with the controls well enough to not make those errors even if it takes a few extra minutes. Make it a ritual the first few times you drive an unfamiliar car if you must.
What skills do you need to demonstrate in order to pass your test to get the licence? Practice all of that.
Also, practice driving in traffic. Get used to having to plan for and anticipate what the other drivers might do. This is something we (autistics) tend to suck at so it means it will require additional effort compared to average. You must be able to do this before it's safe for you to pass the test. It doesn't need to be heavy traffic, but probably as heavy as you'll end up experiencing once you're driving on your own.
Also, I found getting some instruction/practice with autocross was very useful for actually giving me confidence over my ability to control a car. Learning how weight transfer and control inputs impacted how the car behaves made it a lot easier to not panic during an emergency like sliding because the roads are slippy or having a box fall off of the truck in front of me. It doesn't even need to be formal instruction, literally a few videos and a few hours in a safe parking lot with some pylons would be beneficial. It's mostly how it forces you to learn into muscle memory how to scrub speed hard and then turn. Even better if you do it in the rain a bit as well.
Having confidence really makes it easier to remain focused on the actual task of driving.
_________________
I was ashamed of myself when I realised life was a costume party and I attended with my real face
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell
Then tailor the lessons according to the profile.
And, in some cases, the practice it shouldn't be something like a one time thing; it can take months or years.
I don't know if that would be expensive or would require something more specialized.
Sirens??? Even that can be worked around with misophonia.
Even the deaf is allowed to drive legally in the states.
So yeah, one can very much get an earplug and an earphone inside the car and drive -- then get the same accomodations like any deaf drivers...
.. That is, if one knows what they're doing.
But two can play that game; why not use your own mom's anxiety against her?
Because all parents worry. And some refuses to let their kids go. Can you persuade some that you can be give enough credit?
And that autism doesn't disqualify someone from driving unless they do have significant learning deficits related to motor and visual processing, or health conditions that impacts their consciousness.
Also being triggered by a yelling teacher doesn't disqualify someone from driving, unless you're the type who cannot drive unsupervised and your main supervisor is a yelling nag.
Sirens don't really bother me. They did for a while but it wasn't due to their volume, it was because there was a fire in my apartment building (two preteens playing with matches and it got out of control but for insurance reasons they had to say it was an arson). Every time I heard a fire truck, I thought there was another fire and they were going to make everyone evacuate again. In this area, fire fighters usually have EMT training as well and the fire trucks also double as ambulances.
My dad was always threatening to send me a psychiatric hospital or that "they" were going to put me in one. Even now, I still get chills down my spine whenever I hear an ambulance siren because my subconscious thinks it's "them" coming to take me to the "booby hatch" (my dad's term for a psychiatric hospital). But no, I've encountered first responder vehicles with their sirens on when practicing driving on the road before. They NEVER bothered me. I just had a stupid mental health social worker ask me how I could cope with hearing sirens if I couldn't cope with someone screaming in my face.
They also asked how could I drive if my potential passenger was screaming in my face. Uh? When did I say I was ever planning on becoming Annalisa Flanagan's personal driver? When I was a child having a loud meltdown in the backseat, my mom would stop the car until I calmed down. Why am I not allowed to do that as well? I should have screamed in this case worker's face and then ask how she plans to get home because there might be a fire truck with it's siren on on the way. Because if she can't handle a person screaming in her face, she can't handle a siren.
_________________
Spell meerkat with a C, and I will bite you.
Your driving school instructor shouldn't yell at you when you make errors. They're not some random passenger, they're a professional instructor. Your folks are wrong and that instructor isn't very good.
That said, you need to familiarize yourself with the controls well enough to not make those errors even if it takes a few extra minutes. Make it a ritual the first few times you drive an unfamiliar car if you must.
What skills do you need to demonstrate in order to pass your test to get the licence? Practice all of that.
Also, practice driving in traffic. Get used to having to plan for and anticipate what the other drivers might do. This is something we (autistics) tend to suck at so it means it will require additional effort compared to average. You must be able to do this before it's safe for you to pass the test. It doesn't need to be heavy traffic, but probably as heavy as you'll end up experiencing once you're driving on your own.
Also, I found getting some instruction/practice with autocross was very useful for actually giving me confidence over my ability to control a car. Learning how weight transfer and control inputs impacted how the car behaves made it a lot easier to not panic during an emergency like sliding because the roads are slippy or having a box fall off of the truck in front of me. It doesn't even need to be formal instruction, literally a few videos and a few hours in a safe parking lot with some pylons would be beneficial. It's mostly how it forces you to learn into muscle memory how to scrub speed hard and then turn. Even better if you do it in the rain a bit as well.
Having confidence really makes it easier to remain focused on the actual task of driving.
I'm not sure. My mother usually just tells me what I did wrong, not what I did right. She's really picky. But she does not scream at me.
_________________
Spell meerkat with a C, and I will bite you.
Maybe on top of crappy professionals, you also have a parent problem.
Threatening you to send to a psych hospital?
And you're over 30+?
Do they have legal grounds that you're their permanent dependent or something?
They don't sound like support and safe people.
Are you really that further in support levels to be the case?
_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).
Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.
If they scream at you for turning off headlights they shouldn't be a driving instructor.
If they scream at you for turning off headlights they shouldn't be a driving instructor.
I wasn't trying to turn them off. I just accidently bumped them when trying to put on the turn signal and she just went postal. She also was SUPER conservative and spent most of the lessons trying to lecture me about how whatever president was in office at the time was so bad because they were not conservative. Lady, you're to teach me to drive, not try to proselytize me to your political beliefs.
She had this thing where the headlights had to be on, even on a clear sunny day. Supposedly in some states, driver's ed cars are supposed to but I haven't seen anything about it being a requirement in my state and even if it was, she should have just said, "Whoops, you accidently turned off the headlights. No big deal. Just turn them back on. It's very easy to bump them once or twice when you're first learning. You'll get better at putting on the turn signal as you practice"
_________________
Spell meerkat with a C, and I will bite you.
My own driving ability is limited, so this may not be useful, but I would start very very slow. Practice in an empty parking lot to begin with. When you are comfortable with that, try driving on small side roads with very little traffic. Then when you are comfortable enough with these easier situations, maybe you can venture on.
Ideally you would have a good professional driving instructor if you can find one. They should be patient and understanding. Your mother's anxiety will probably make things harder whereas a patient professional can help. Plus the driving schools have dual controls in the car (for driver and instructor) so if you make a mistake you can feel more confident because the instructor can correct it.
Ideally you would have a good professional driving instructor if you can find one. They should be patient and understanding. Your mother's anxiety will probably make things harder whereas a patient professional can help. Plus the driving schools have dual controls in the car (for driver and instructor) so if you make a mistake you can feel more confident because the instructor can correct it.
Every driving teacher I had was like that and the ones here don't take adults. I will have to move if my mom won't take me. But even if I move to an area that has one that takes adults, I still can't have them consistently. When I practiced with my mom, it was every day, when I had them with a so called "professional", it was once a month...twice a month if I was lucky.
_________________
Spell meerkat with a C, and I will bite you.
Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,079
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom
My neighbor Anita said I may never be able to drive because of the Autism but now after reading on this thread that having Autism does NOT necessarily preclude or inhibit the ability to drive is making me want to prove her wrong by getting my driver's license!! !
I am about to prove her wrong by getting married so this would just be icing on the proverbial "payback cake"!
However I'm afraid once I actually get behind the wheel I would be like SpongeBob SquarePants when he is driving his boat
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,916
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Well, I am nearly 35 and I still just have a drivers permit which means I can drive with a licensed driver in the passenger seat. So, me and my boyfriend have been thinking we should have me do some driving in his car so I can get some experience to get my license, but we have not really done that yet.
_________________
We won't go back.
I guess driving instruction is a seller's market, so the "customer is always right" thing gets overlooked. My instructors didn't yell at me so I guess I was lucky. As far as I'm concerned, yelling at people is usually a mistake. It might be understandable, but it often triggers a negative reaction and makes things worse. It would be unusual if anybody yelled at me with any success.
Threatening you to send to a psych hospital?
And you're over 30+?
Do they have legal grounds that you're their permanent dependent or something?
They don't sound like support and safe people.
Are you really that further in support levels to be the case?
No, he said that whenever I had a meltdown or panic attack and couldn't be bothered to comfort me or I don't know, stop antagonizing me when in meltdown, making it worse. He and my mother would record me and say "listen to how awful you sound!" My father was the instigator but he passed away from cancer two years ago.
_________________
Spell meerkat with a C, and I will bite you.
I was lucky and was recommended a driving instructor who is good with nervous drivers. She was very good with me, she seemed to understand I wasn’t a natural driver and was always very calm and patient, letting me go at my own pace. I had a bad driving instructor before her, who didn’t shout but was impatient and really stressed me out.
I’m still unable to drive on my own though (too anxious) so I’m not exactly a success story.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Help for a confused person? |
21 Oct 2024, 6:26 pm |
What are the best strategies to study for person with ASD? |
23 Nov 2024, 7:37 pm |
Someone asked a person if they got a haircut. |
05 Dec 2024, 3:15 am |
Who is your favorite person, or animal? |
05 Dec 2024, 8:50 pm |