I think I'm starting to understand myself a little better. I have always had a few, close friends. Once I let someone into my space, I am very loyal and caring. The vast majority of people, however, don't reach that space because I am afraid of their insensitivity. I have a very low threshold for emotional pain and tend to try to self-destruct in response. I suspect that my narrow interests in terms of non-people related subjects is also an attempt to boost my self-confidence. If I am knowledgeable about one or two areas, I can find a 'safe space' therein where emotional pain can't reach me.
The AS survival strategy, then, makes sense to me. I don't think there is anything wrong with having a few, close friends instead of being socially gregarious. And our narrow interests may even become a gift to us and the world. I don't think that immersion in emotional pain is a solution. I don't think that being bullied in order to grow a "thicker skin" is helpful or necessary. I am who I am with my thin skin. All I ask is that others accept that and don't try to make me tough, like them! The world needs the thin-skins as much as it needs the thick-skins. I can respect the thick-skins (for group survival it is necessary to have that shield) - but I lose respect if they try to make mine the same.
25 Oct 2007, 7:56 am
