Is it hard for you to to say 'no' when you're asked a favor?

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It seems like a social skill I've failed to develop. When I'm asked to do something I don't want to, I get really stuck, and start overheating, and go red in the face. I could stay like that for several minutes, not saying a word. It's so embarressing.

It's always been impossible for me to say "no" in an NT acceptable way , when asked a favor.

Nowadays I've memorized a few NT-appropriate excuses for some kinds of favors, but for new favors I'm at a loss.

Fortunately, in NT society the tried and true "too busy" works with most requests. Another one that's fail-safe (my ex husband taught me this one) is "my husband/roommate/boss/ religion/landlord/bank manager/doctor/(insert some higher power in your life here) doesn't allow me."

Most of the time I find it awkward to say no to people without offending them.

It helps if the person asking the favour is someone who really has no right to expect anything from you. Like the girl who bullied me for ages, then asked me to lend her 20p in the lunchline. So I said, "What makes you think I owe YOU a favour?" and walked off. My proudest moment.

But in cases that aren't like this, it can be really difficult to say no. Like with my friend Laura. Her auntie doesn't let her bring money to school, so I buy Laura a cookie everyday and she pays me back when she has enough. I don't mind doing this, but the teacher reckons I shouldn't lend her money. I was quite offended by the teacher interfering in something that has nothing to do with anyone else. I have no idea who told. And I just realised I can't remember how that story links to the previous one, but hey.

Exactly me. I have a bad history of being caught off guard when asked for something by someone. Then I freeze up in anxiety, and say "OK" to simply end the encounter as quickly as possible. This has caused me countless problems in life. Others perceive this as me being "spineless", as if I am weak and can be walked all over.

The problem is that I am not weak, just socially inept and dealing with some small neurological issues. If I had adequate time to focus myself when such a situation occurs, I would be able to process what I heard, develop a response and say what I actually feel. But this takes more time than it does other people. Apparently NT's can do this automatically.

So If I happen to try and say "NO", because I know that saying "yes" in a particular situation would be really bad for me, I end up doing so in a strange way. I may come off as rude, sarcastic, angry, melancholy, or in some other inappropriate and unintended way.

Obviously, this is yet another reason why I tend to avoid people. One less chance for misunderstanding.

This is a very good topic. One that I'm sure most of us can identify with.

I've been getting better at saying no for money-related favours. But some people still keep asking me, because they figure I'm a millionaire or something.

It's a coping mechanism developed by aspie's to acquire more friends. If you're more accomodating, then people will like you more. But it can backfire when people start taking advantage of you.

I have found it easier to say, I am sorry, but I simply can not do this.

If they ask why, I say, I just can't.

Or if it is for something like random people bumming stuff off of me, I say, I don't have any to share. Then in my head I say, with anyone but friends. HA!

These work some of the times, but not when friends ask me to hang out with them, I get scared and lost for what to do, I panic and then I start babbling.

I try in those situations, to ask the particulars. How, when, why, what. Knowing all the details, I then say, Let me think about it. That gives me time to get acquainted with the idea and relax and then realize I actually do love that person and would love to hang out.

Laughs, usually takes me all of ten minutes to call them and go, I'll be there.

It is not always easy for me to say "no." This makes it awkward in students ask me to do silly stuff I don't feel comfortable doing.

if asked from a position of authority, my automatic response is usually "no". then after some consideration I might change it to "yes".

I like to do favours for people that I like and those that really need them. as long as they are asked for in a nice way, not in a "I expect you to say yes and drop what you're doing" kind of way.

No problem for me. But I also cannot do it an appropriate way.

I am not taken seriously by people until they push me so much that I freak out over them.

Apparently, a 'no' doesn't mean 'no' to those non-literal people.

Two years ago I said yes to almost any question. But I learned to say 'no'.
My time is limited with my current job and I was getting stressed with too many tasks.

To preserve myself I decided to cancel some of my tasks and decided to not take too many new ones.

But it is still difficult, finding a good way to say no is difficult. And I still feel guilty, even if I know it is necessary to say 'no'.

It used to be but I am stronger now and I have an easier time saying "no" unless it is in regards to something that I truly agree to do for someone without having any kind of apprehensive feelings...

That depends. I have this neurotypical keeps coming round and who expecting me to do favours. He thinks he is a friend but he is just someone who is out for what he can get. If I refuse he shouts and bawls at me and points which I asked him not to do it but he does not listen. I get really pissed off with it. Even sometimes asks me for money which I try to refuse and he does not like it and gets intimidating so I am in a no win situation

I can say no it is just people do not like it no matter how it is done even politely. It is as though neurotypical people think that I owe them a favour for the rest of my life when the only thing that a neurotypical does anything nice for anyone is to get something back in return.

yeah...however it's usually jobs that no one else wants to do, so my boss thinks I hang the moon...

That's me Always having a hard time saying no

I have even hesitated under circumstances where it was very obvious that I should have said NO!( )! !! !
Like when i was cleaning out the car in my parking lot and the guy at the nearby bus stop decides to try to take advantage of me by asking me to walk down the street with him to ask some mechanic not to tow his car....and then when I finally say I can't, after listening to his outlandish far-fetched story...(as politely as possible )...he hits me up for money...giving me this sob story about having all this church equipment in his car and not having money for the bus...(even though he is waiting for the bus)....and i end up giving him 2 dollars.....grrrrr....... ...it was a total scam...

My parents also have an impossible time saying no to people like this and some people have taken repeated hard-core advantage of them for years even..

Last night i did say no to the glassy-eyed fellow who was waving the plastic bottle around saying he needed change to put gas in his car which had broken down on the freeway...(if this were true, he would have had better luck panhandling near the gas stations, which are located several blocks away by the freeway....I managed to say no to that one. I didn't have any change and was not about to go in and get some.

I am bad at saying no, but so is my NT wife. I think many NT people have trouble saying no as well.