i_wanna_blue wrote:
- I walk with my head down, and I usually don't notice others.
- If I notice someone, I wont make direct eye contact.
- I'll will probably be nervous and thus mumble a greeting.
- I sometimes show a clear look of apprehension while encountering someone.
- I feel empty exchanging pleasentaries with people, especially strangers. It just feels weird, like I am forcing myself to do something which to me isn't natural.
- I usually make a fool of myself because I am so unsure of myself.
That's me too.
I usually have to wait for someone (particularly strangers) to greet me first.
This is because I'm afraid and others have never really let me practice my greeting skills without giving me a ton of abuse. I was socially rejected by other children a lot when I was very young, so that probably has something to do with it. I was never really instructed step by step on how to do this either.
Since then, I haven't really had much opportunity to practice because I've been "snowed under" with studying.
I can say "hello" and greet someone if and only if I trust that person, am absolutely sure that the person isn't going to lash out at me (if that person looks lost and lonely for example), that person is a very close friend or relative.
When the other person does initiate the conversation for me, I always ask them how they are (because I genuinely care) and about their interests. This is because I've read books that have suggested focussing the discussion on the other person's interests. I have learned how to do this consciously mainly though trial and error. Once I get into the rhythm of the conversation I usually do pretty well (better than most normal people sometimes), that is until I let a comment slip or start inadvertently talking about the scenery and my own interests. I tend to find it easier to stay on topic if the person is talking about some object or some task rather than someone.
I can initiate if it's a formal request though or I need to ask the other person for advice or to do something for me. That can be planned and scripted.
There you have it. I've done Chemistry to Advanced Level, but I can't initiate an informal conversation with 99% of the human population. The irony isn't completely lost on me