How do you react around people you don't like?

Post Reply New Topic

I've heard some aspies cannot stand to be around people they don't like.. for whatever reason... well Im sure no-one can.. but apparently aspies react differently.. I dunno.

what I'm trying to say is, I cannot be in the same room as someone I don't like.. I cannot speak to them.. I even stay mute sometimes so I don't have to speak to them, I ignore them.. but inside, I'm raging.. it's like every aspect of my attention is focused on that person and I cannot think about anything else... even if someone else is talking to me, I cannot take in what they said.
and so this rage inside builds and unless I get out of the room, it just ends up with me having a meltdown.

Can anyone relate to this??

The person I am thinking of in particular is the disability cordinator at my college... he's absolutly usless at his job... he has done nothing to help me apart from telling me and my mum that I clearly don't have asperger's because I'm only just been diagnosed and I'm coped this far in life, I don't need any help now.
He's very arrogant and is really sarcastic.. which I ddin't see at first and my mum told me he was very sarcastic.

anyway, my psychiatrist agreed to come into college to spoeak to my tutor about asperger's syndrome and the disability coordinator wanted to be there.. I did not want him there but my tutor said he wouldn't say anything, he would just sit there and listen.

Not only did he arrive late to the meeting, but my anxiety levels went through the roof while he was there and I couldn#t take anything in. Then.. he opened his mouth and began patronising me.... the one thing my tutor said he wouldn't do is talk.. and he did.... so I had a meltdown.. I shouted and hit my wrists telling him to get out.
His reaction?
'I'll go in a minute, you need to calm down'
so I kept shouting and hitting myself while I wanted him to get out'
'I'm not going anywhere yet'
In the end he had to go because my wrists were swelling up.

and appparently he knows everything to do with aspergers... ha


anyway.. he really makes my blood boil... but I was wondering if anyone could relate and how you react around people you strongly dislike?


Charlie.

I go monosyllabic to try and get them to realise that I really want them to GTFO.

i keep quiet and act a bit hard not sure why i just do

I go really quiet and if they try to talk to me I just start talking all rude and snappy while turning my back to them. They go all "oh I'm so sooorry" sort of thing and I'm like "what?"

It depends on the person. I either avoid them completely or I am openly hostile towards them. I lived with a person I didn't like my whole freshman year in college. He was one of the most unpleasant people I've ever known. We lived in the same room together. I tried to avoid him as much as possible during my freshman year. He was pretty mean but I could tell that the reason he was like that was because he hated himself. I now realize that one of the reasons he was so mean to me was because of my AS.

Avoid them at all costs. My trouble is that I take an instant dislike to all selfish drivers, and they are many. I feel it's a reflection on them to allow themselves to behave in such a rude manner, whether they have the anonymity of their cars or not. In the past, I tended to demonize anyone who had qualities I disliked, to the point that I would cause people to start defending those people (trying to be fair) when in fact they did not like them either. I would go so far that they felt they had to be clear that the person had good qualities. I dunno, I guess it always seemed to me that some qualities a person has, ones that can be helped, are so particularly irritating or inexcusable that they really must be jerks if they don't try to stop. Not fair, considering how I'd feel if someone took a dislike to a trait of mine... which they do... frequently.

But it also always seemed quite unfair when people complained about a person constantly only to defend them when I joined in. My husband used to gripe about this lady at work who would call him for computer help after hours, weekends, even when he was on vacation. I grumbled about her and suddenly she was a really nice person, so he said. I don't get NTs.

yes,it has been common with every aspie and autie am have lived with-big reactions around those not liked or are new.

am have different reactions depending on who it is and why do not like them.
for example,if its someone who has treated am like crap,a burden or used any other such nasty ignorant ways [it will only be a resident or support staff as theyre the only regular people am see]-am will end up head banging everytime they come into the building,and when they get closer,so can hear their voice-am will get harder and more violent until end up in a meltdown.
if it is a new staff around,am either 'do a runner' or hide in wardrobe or under mattress-anywhere tight and covered.
It does go into head banging/self attacking and later meltdown the closer they get,am have to be in a routine with people first before being able to acknowledge their presence.

if put with a new staff or someone she doesnt like,a female 'severe' aspie who am used to live with,would completely trash the house as much as she could,attack the male residents because they refused to hit back at a girl, wee and poo on the floor,pick the poo up,roll it into balls,eat some of it,throw it on ceiling and throw it at anyone 'weak' and the staff as theyre not allowed to do anything to her apart from restrain,run outside if door was unlocked,strip her clothes off,run around showing off her rolls of fat to everyone, scream etc-staff said it was partly due to change,partly due to trying to take advantage of a new staff,and partly due to her having severe challenging behavior as well as severe aspergers.


so am would say are not on own.
it could be to do with the 'fight or flight' reaction.

I'm not sure if I don't like anybody, but when people make me angry I go silent and act a bit snappy to them, if I have to speak to them.

i go distant and formally polite. that's if they manage to get me not to like them.

I can relate to this question.

However, the people I tend not to like at this time, are my immediate family members, particularly my younger sisters.

I only get along with my dad.

My sisters, on the other hand, are very difficult people to talk to. They have their ideas (for instance the older one is a religious fundamentalist, while the other is nearly a *cannot use the word* gangsta). They don't exactly bring good people into the house (the older sister is engaged to a boy who is homeless and doesn't have a GED, while the younger one hangs out with lowlifes). I am a nerd, so I cannot relate to their lifes, interests, and issues.

Also the little sister has a lot of attitude problems and, the way she talks to me, the sound in her voice makes me think that she thinks very little of me. She calls nearly everyone else in the family a sort of affectionate nickname, while with me she jsut says my given name with very little emotion.

I try to be nice to her, mostly through doing things, but we have not had a good, long conversation in years.

She often complains I do not pay enough attention to her, and that I spend too much time in my room, "watching anime and plaing video games," activities which she thinks very little of.

I think one of the major problems is that they are more "go-getter," socialite types, while I am the relaxed, quiet type.

I am the out person in my family.

Any time spent disliking anyone for any reason is time wasted. If this is something a person is choosing to do, they've no one to blame but themselves.

I just avoid them. The only ones I dislike are the ones I have histories with and they have proven themselves to not be friends in the first place. Just people I was with because there was no one else. I don't think any of them liked me much anyway.

Yes I can relate. There are some people for whom I feel nothing but aversion.

When I happen to be around someone like this, I try to escape.
If that is not possible, I avoid them.
If that is not possible, I refuse to make eye contact and act tremendously distracted and busy in order to make them feel as uncomfortable and eager to leave as I can.
Fortunately, that last one is always possible, even if it might be socially inappropriate.

Unfortunately at times I can make it obvious if I don't like someone who I am around. I ignore them obviously..I will not start any fights but I will be nasty if they start with me.. but I also tend to roll my eyes around a lot if they are talking or something.

I regard them as fair game for my far reaching entertainment needs. People I dislike are now great opportunities

I simply look away and don't speak to them.