People saving me from being embarrassed

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In the past few days, I have had two instances of people trying to save me from embarrassment, when I don't think there was any reason to be embarrassed.

Case 1: I had what I believe may have been a seizure (yeah, I'm seeing a doctor). It wasn't the kind where you flap about or anything, just a strange internal feeling, but when it was over, I was unable to talk properly for about half an hour. Most likely it was some kind of thing going on in my temporal lobe, and it made it so it was difficult for me to find the words to say what I wanted to say. I probably looked like a bit of a spaced out weirdo, for anyone who was compelled to look my way, but so? My friend came and got me from where I was, and drove me to the school where I needed to pick up my kids. When the aphasia had pretty much cleared up, she gave me instructions to keep away from the other parents, and if anyone asks what's wrong, to tell them I have a really bad headache. Well, I didn't feel like having a discussion at the moment, but why should I lie? Not that I'm going to go up to the big group of chatty PTA moms, and say, "Guess what, all you chatty ladies? There's some weird thing going on with my brain?" But I don't need an arsenal of lies to protect myself either.

Case 2: I have gone to an online epilepsy forum (looking to educate myself), and there was a question from someone about whether or not his anti-seizure meds might be causing his rages. I posted a reply saying that although I'm very new to the subject of seizures, I did know that some anti-convulsants can be used as mood-stabilizers, so it makes since that there might be a relation, but he ought to ask his doctor.

Well, I get a PM from the moderator, saying that she doesn't want to embarrass me in front of everyone, since I'm new, but "He IS a doctor". Okaaaaaay..... I don't know what kind of doctor he is, but he asked a question, and I gave some input that he can either find useful, or not. What part am I supposed to be embarrassed about?

As I type this, I suppose, in Case 1, that the issue is that my friend is the type of person to worry a lot about how others see her. At least much more than me, in a way that I find a little absurd. Perhaps the person on the epilepsy forum is the same way (although, in her picture, she has the silliest hair I've ever seen on a human being, but it does look like she put a lot of effort into it.)

I guess the bottom line is that people are weird. Do any of you ever have situations like this?

Pfft, I wish people tried to save me from embarrassment

In the first example, I am wondering if it is less a case of being saved from embarrassment than being saved from those types of people who will throw their "think of the children" mentalities into over drive, and wonder if you will have a (I am guessing it is an) "absence" seizure? while you are around their children, or cause harm to your own, etc. and feel the need to "do" something about it, whatever that may be. Where as lying is going to be found out, keeping low until you find out what your triggers are and if you need time to have meds titrated, etc. might save you a lot of grief from the overenthusiastic individuals your friend is worried about.

In the second case - The PM is over reacting, and is stuck in the "because he is a doctor, then he knows all and you will just embarrass yourself if you tell him otherwise" way of thinking. You are right, if the doctor didn't want to know, he wouldn't be on the site. Also, he is a good scientist, because he knows if you want to know about your subject, the best way to do it is to talk to those who it most closely affects, just like anything else.

It was good advice to give him to go see a doctor about it (sometimes doctors are the worst patients, and it is made worse by the fact that the doctor they see may be a colleague and that is a very vulnerable position to put yourself into). You would be surprised, too, that people like to have permission before they go to see the doctor - I work for doctors, and many times I have had to very forcefully tell someone to go to the emergency department or to see their doctor, because they didn't feel that they were sick enough to see one (although they suspected, but left the decision basically up to me, which is scary because sometimes I have to convince myself its time to go to the doctor but *I* am not sure I am sick enough, but that is human nature, we are blind about ourselves sometimes).

I don't think the PM should be protecting the doctor - he is more than capable of doing that himself. If he didn't want an honest answer, he wouldn't have asked he question, and he probably wouldn't appreciate the PM running interference for him. Tip-toeing around him because of his rank isn't going to help him out one bit. I have seen other doctors on other forums, and they are very quiet about who they are, because it does unfortunately change the way people see them, but they are human with the same human failings and strengths.


Having said the above, I do get people jumping in to "save" me sometimes. One of my co-workers does that when she sees me struggling or misunderstanding something. Sometimes its annoying because I feel I am being kept from saying my opinion, othertimes, its worked out to my benefit because if it was left up to me I would have just kept making it worse. Some people you just have to accept as being "weird" that way...

I think in case #1 the lady might have been trying to save you from getting your drivers license or your kids taken away. Telling others you have seizures can lead to gossip where the authorities get notified.