Jerk who left a note and my response

Post Reply New Topic

I should preface this by saying that I have NLD (nonverbal learning disorder), and anything to do with spatial perception is super-hard for me. I find parking garages miserable, but where I work, this is the only option. It is very hard for me to judge angles, and I often end up too far to one side. In a regular parking lot, I would just back up and try again, but in a parking garage there is no room (not with my skills anyway) to maneuver, and so I'm stuck. It is embarrassing, but I often park badly in garages. Anyway, this jerk who I often park next to left me a note today: "Nice park job (again)", so I thought I would respond to him and give him an earful about NLD. All very respectfully of course. Here is my response (I'll put it on his windshield tomorrow):

"I received your note yesterday, and wanted to explain that I suffer from a developmental disability of the right hemisphere called Nonverbal Learning Disorder. The opposite of someone with dyslexia, I have excellent verbal skills but struggle greatly with accurate visual and spatial perception. It was extremely difficult for me to learn to drive, and parking remains a particular challenge. In a regular parking lot, it will typically take me up to three tries in order to park successfully. In the close confines of a parking garage however, I find this kind of maneuvering all but impossible, so I just have to do my best on the first try. Judging angles is very difficult for me, and I often wind up too far to one side.

I do apologize for any inconvenience. Please keep in mind though, that although it is distressing for you when I park too close, this is a disability that I must struggle with every hour of every day (it affects much more than just visual-spatial perception), so please try to be patient. I appreciate your understanding and tolerance."

I thought about adding the URL for one of the major NLD websites, but I thought that might be overkill. I know it's a bit long already. I'm going to type it up so it is neat.

Uhhh, you may not want to say that. He could report you to the DMV and cause them to make you retake the tests. If you want to write a note to him, simply tell him that if he does not like parking next to you, find another space.

He'll feel really guilty and bad.

possibly he wasnt complaning about you, but a wrong image he has in his head, of a selfish, inconsiderate person.

I'll be interested in his about response if you do it.

Wow, I wouldn't say the guy is a jerk for leaving the note since he didn't know you have a disability but at least you took his sarcasm well and are willing to leave him a civil note but like someone else said, he could report you to the DMV thinking you shouldn't be driving if you have that problem. All he needs is to give them your license number and they will look it up and see it's registered to you and they have your address.


I also get annoyed myself when someone takes up two parking spaces and I'm like "Jerk" and figure the person was too lazy to even fix it after he or she parked or was in a hurry. But I don't even think they might have a condition that might make them do that but now I know. I didn't know NLD causes that error.

The "jerk" is actually being quite constructive. Leaving a note is much better than keying your car.

Your response seems quite good, although it might be helpful if you could work in somehow that you appreciate that the other person left a note (trying to communicate with you), and this is why you believe they are very reasonable and will appreciate that you are not parking the way you do due to lack of consideration. It often helps influence people if you make what you want them to do appear as a virtue that you already believe them to possess.

Your response is better then mine, I would have keyed his car, but I will definitely follow your good example.

That is a very civil note, I think it will be effective, and maybe he will think twice before being critical of others.

You might want to shorten it, though, to make sure he reads your main point. I'm afraid if it is too long, he won't bother taking the time to read the whole thing.

I know you're angry, but this really won't get results.

Is there anyway you can speak to this person face to face?

Innocent question: is there any need to respond to the note?

Like others have mentioned, writing a note like that might make the other person feel bad and encourage them to report you to the DMV, which would probably result in you having to take another driver's exam.

You don't know what type of person this is, or what their reason was for leaving the note for you. Maybe they are an otherwise well-meaning person who was just in a bad mood, or maybe they are the sort of conservative activist who does not belive that NLD is an excuse for poor parking skills.

If you want my advice, don't leave a note at all. If you do leave a note, write it in the form of an apology. If you can somehow meet this person face-to-face and discuss it with them, then that might even be a better option.

For all they know, you are just a person who is too lazy to put an effort into parking correctly and are inconsiderate for not fixing it afterwards. An apology would most likely dispel these thoughts, and if you can see the person afterwards, you can explain NLD to them.

The possibility exists that the person who left the note might have some disabling condition that makes crawling through from the passenger side into their driver's seat difficult too. My arthritis makes this sort of maneuver rather painful and I have left similar notes on people's cars that were too close for me to open my driver-side door.

Don't say Nonverbal learning disability. Just say, "I'm horrible at this, I'm trying my best, please be patient."

Otherwise, how do you know the guy won't figure you are a danger on the road because you can't tell the distance between you and the school bus in the next lane?