Aging with asperger

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^^^
you are not the only one, Pokerface. as I grew older I gradually lost energy to do self-betterment. now I am sorta like a bump on a log, content to just vegetate, for the most part.

Something tells me this is not quite true, auntblabby.

if you saw my habitat, you would think I was one of the unfortunate denizens of "hoarders." I can't clean or straighten or organize to save my life. I am capable of minding my diet and sticking to a physical fitness regimen only because I hated exercise not as much as I hated being sick with chronic sinus infections and hobbled with arthritis, which good muscle tone and good body chemistry [through diet and exercise] ameliorated a great deal. but other than that, I am not much better than a bump on a log.

I am not sure it gets milder. My life has become much like your saying, I am reclusive and content with it. I stopped pushing my boundaries and have 'settled' into a regime that is relatively stress free.

Admittedly, my emotional responses to people have mellowed but I have spent years training myself to function non-reactively so I could survive in a professional career.

Now, I really do see myself 'coasting to the finish line'

It takes a lot of effort, courage and determination to push your boundaries in the first place. I think you have probably come a long way but don't realize it yet. My guess is that you are still experiencing dark and difficult periods in your life, but to expect that this will stop after a certain age is unrealistic, especially when you have aspergers.

You should compliment yourself instead of being overly critical. There is nothing wrong with an existance that is relatively stress free. All this stress that people seem to experience these days is very unhealthy,on many different levels, so why should you do that to yourself?

I really think you should get some help with getting your house in order if possible.
Living in a dirty mess will only make your situation seem more hopeless and depressing on a conscious as well as a subconsious level. You may not believe this but there is a world of difference between living in a mess and living in a house that is relatively clean and organised. You should definitely take some action and get some help because it is in (all likelyhood) impossible to do this on your own.

I find your efforts to stick to a pshysical fitness regimen quite admiring. I wish I had the stamina do to that.

I had the advantage of having been in the military when I was young, IOW there was a foundation of fitness to better work with. but I've slacked off several times in my life thereafter, for periods of up to a decade, and each time the climb back up to fitness took longer, with this last time [starting in 2010] taking a whole year! it takes a while to build up one's stamina, that is for sure. but I am sure you could do it as well. I have faith in you. there just has to be a reason to do it- for me, it was due to declining health which I could not stand living with, it made me determined to reverse it for as long as I could.

You are even smiling at me. How nice of you auntblabby.
I to think that I can do it. The question is if I am willing and motivated to get fitter.

the motivation has to be there, and it is different for everybody, but in general my motivation is as most people's motivations which can be said to be one's health [i'm getting long in the tooth and I want my remaining years to be feel-good years or at least feel less bad years] plus vanity- i want to look as good as I can for as long as I can. those are the two biggies for me. trust me Pokerface, you don't want to let your health deteriorate too far as the climb up from the bottom is a trial. get in shape while you are still young, and it is easier to maintain from that point. don't play catch-up like I did.

ditto...and whoever wrote that hasn't a clue on what it's like to be on the spectrum. being in my 40's as well, whenever i get into one of those phases, thinking: "wow, life is getting smaller and smaller....i wonder what's going to happen to me in the future??" my mom will say "don't worry, your *son* will take care of you!" -- slight problem, mom: he's on the spectrum, too, LOL. (she often forgets, because he seems so "normal".)

therefore, i may end up having to take care of HIM, if he can't hack normal life after college...and if he *can* hack it, he'll probably be too stressed out trying to take care of himself and his own family, to even *think* about worrying about ME! and that's when i laugh...then cry....and then go do something else and forget about it again for a while, lol.

I am 60 and married with three grown children. As a professional with a graduate degree I do ok but have had numerous firings throughout my career (prob due to AS). The marriage is dead as wife just wants business relationship. I have been a strip club hobbyist the last nine years and had a number of mistresses (strippers, Seeking Arrangement gals) the present one, 31 going on 5 years. She danced at a club where I am VIP. She is a nt and was a cheerleader in HS. I guess better late than never.....when I was in school approaching those girls unthinkable - I was so low on the social order......

I don't like to think of the final years of my life being in the home stretch as what is this a home stretch to? I like to look at it as just fun and games from here on out.......My father died in a nursing home at 88 and no way I want to go like that being in that kind of prison.

I found out about AS a few years back when I did a google search on "socially handicapped in high school." I wish I had know when I was young what I was up against instead of wondering why I did not fit in.

My father's 86, and he's off on a Mediterranean cruise next month. Yes, he's lonely but he hasn't given up. There are benefits in never having learned about autism.

Me, I turn 61 this week and I'm in despair. It's OK, the pills help with that. My health's holding up. Having learned about autism has helped a bit, but mostly in fuelling my motivation.

I sometimes work myself into panic over this one. If I look too far ahead I can see nothing but negative. So I have to dive into looking after the garden or the animals. They really are the best self therapy regime even if it does get a bit exhausting. And its probably a bit premature anyway as I am still relying on my Mum, more than ever actually, as she has finally realised I have a problem and has belatedly decided she needs to do something about it. (I'm 48). Of course now she is supporting me I worry about what will happen after she dies. And she is worrying about what will happen to me then too. If she hadn't thrown me out of the house when I was 18 this might not have been necessary, but as everything seems to be getting worse as I get older it might have happened anyway. But my grandmother lived to be 95 so hopefully I'll have roof over my head for a while longer. And I suspect my youngest son will want to look after me. Whether I want to be 'looked after' is another question though I don't actually likie my mother doing my washing and tidying my room but if I confronted her with it I'd end up shouting at her which would cause such a comotion and be so upsetting that I let it be. I'm quite able to do my own washing but she is very particular about where it dries and takes over and seems to think I'm implying she isn't doing it often enough...and I'd tidy my room of there was anywhere to put things, but I used to have a houue to put all my stuff in and now its just one room and its just impossible...

Do Aspies have a greater risk of dementia as we age? I thought I read something about that, but now I can't find anything about it. An elderly relative is starting to get very forgetful and his wife has done a lot of research on slowing the advance of dementia. She said the surest way to preserve your memory is to stay physically active.

one more thing to worry about.

I have read that learning new things and being social are the best ways to minimize the effects of aging on the brain, so I can see how we would have a problem if we don't continue to challenge ourselves to do those things.