Valentine’s Day rejection spurs debate

Post Reply New Topic

A debate has been sparked after a schoolgirl turned down a classmate’s Valentine’s Day request, prompting a wave of sympathy for her would-be suitor.

The controversy began when the boy’s mother, Heather Starr, wrote on Facebook that her son Roman, who is neurodivergent, had made a poster to ask a girl to be his Valentine. It didn’t go well.

“You guys. My oldest baby is 14, he has Autism, is very shy and socially awkward,” Ms Starr wrote in a post on Feburary 14. “Yesterday he made a poster for a girl at school and asked her to be his valentine at lunch in front of everyone. She said no.”

Ms Starr’s story got national attention — and plenty of sympathy for her son at the school.

The next day at school, a number of Roman’s classmates approached him with kind words and offers to be his Valentine. According to Today, one of his fellow students presented him with a poster like the one he had made to ask the girl the day before.

“They asked him to be their Valentine and he said yes,” Ms Starr wrote on Facebook. “Then the entire cafeteria cheered so loud that they disrupted nearby classes and everyone got in trouble and had to have a silent lunch period after that.”

Kris Renee, another TikTok user who made a video about the situation, said that she was teaching her children that they are entitled to respectfully decline anyone’s advances.

“Is anyone thinking about the fact of how the next day, that girl was made to feel guilty for having said no? Has that thought crossed anyone’s mind?”

‘It’s manipulative’: Parents defend girl who ‘politely’ rejected autistic classmate’s Valentine’s Day request

This “debate” is mostly the mom’s fault. This is what is called “snowplow parenting” - removing all obstacles. First of all he is fourteen years old, he is not a baby. As pointed out the girl did the right thing, his class did a nice thing, all’s well that should have ended well if mom had kept quiet. Let the kid have a private life, please.

I do not know what Valentine’s Day etiquette for teenagers is these days but if asking a person to be your Valentine in front of everyone is still frowned upon mom or the teacher after class should have taught him the unwritten rule not to do it in public and why that rule exists. If the kid is intellectually abled enough to attend class he is intellectually abled enough to learn what most know innately.

Mom is teaching the kid to expect a yes every time. It is one thing when it is a Valentine’s day card, it is another in a few years when he expects yes about sex. Everybody, but especially Autistic people should not learn to expect yes every time.

Man things have changed. If I did that and was rejected I would never have heard the end of it. I am not sure once the publicity has died down the kid won’t be teased. And if my mom made a public spectacle of me being rejected I don’t even want to think about the consequences both for me and my parents.