The Gym and Being Social(Or Not)

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I love exercising and going to the gym. I have been an avid lifter since my teenage and on through college and the military, now as a civilian again. However, I often find myself not going or having to drag myself to the gym simply to avoid the social aspect. I enjoy my routines and am therefore at the gym/facility during the same time everyday. I have noticed that after a certain period of time others in the gym see this as common social ground and attempt to open a dialog. This causes me to try changing my routine, never a great idea(for me anyway), and even if I successfully do so the cycle repeats eventually.

I have tried the cliched "ear-buds in", the "I'm and angry lifter" facial expressions and body language, and the quick get away answer "I'm in a hurry and have to finish my work out... sorry" and others like it with no success.

I have eventually joined a 24 hour gym (a downgrade) and work out during the off hours, 00:00 (midnight) - 03:00. Lets just say that my sleep schedule is suffering.

Anyone else have this issue? Please share.

Any advice?

P.S. This is a recent occurrence for me. As a teenager and a home-schooler I did not have many peers at the gym. During college as a rugby player (#3) my teammates were understanding enough to give me my space in the gym. And in the Army, plenty of people either never went (thinking PT was enough) or were just as uninterested in socializing, as far as lifting went. I avoided combatives due to the social aspect as well. Therefore I have never had to develop a system for dealing with this situation.

That's interesting. I could totally see that happening, it does not sound unrealistic at all.

But at the same time the 2 gyms I go to (the one that is in the building here where I work, and a separate commercial gym I signed up for) both tend to be full of people who are just focused on what they are doing. I get the impression if you went to any of them and tried to strike up a conversation, they would give you the stink-eye, pull out their head phones, and turn to face the other day. I could be wrong...

Perhaps it is a geographical difference in how people tend to behave at the gym.

Have you tried wearing ear plugs that is linked to some sort of music player? In general, people try automatically to avoid conversations with people, that seem to be hearing music actually. If you feel disturbed by music, you can simply wear the earplugs without listening to music, only for the effect.

You are doing all of the leave-me-alone things that I can think of.

I understand this completely. Although I'm probably much less of a sports person than you are, I also tend to avoid the gym for this reason. It already starts with the always-chatty lady at the reception desk...

Sometimes, when I'm in a certain mood, I have the courage to just respond by stating something such as "I'm anti-social and don't like people, sorry." I have done this a couple of times now, always with success. The downside is that I often don't have the nerve to make such a bold statement, but when I do, it feels relieving, like I don't have to pretend anymore.

I don't have too much of an issue. Smile, quick banal statement, and then walk away/phase out. It's probably more difficult during multiple weightlifting sets, but I'd guess the regulars would get the hint after a few times allowing you to settle into a quieter routine. Perhaps make your off hours a little less extreme too if possible. (21:00 instead of 0:00?)

This is the advantage of bodyweight exercises: I'm banished to the back corner of the gym where not too many gym goers congregate. And if you run fast enough on the treadmill you're unlikely to be interrupted.

Come to think of it, my social anxiety might explain why I never gravitated to weights when exercising. Unless you have a good weight set at home, you pretty much HAVE to interact with people in order to get your workout in. And when every bro with a barbell thinks he's a certified personal trainer you're not going to be left alone all that much.

That is the worst, isn't it?

I dislike unsolicited advice-giving in general. Self-anointed and self-appointed personal trainers are too often laughably pathetic narcissists.

@ b_edward
I think it is geographical and/or specific to gym types (bodybuilding, athletic, class heavy, and such). Also, where I currently live, exercise of every kind (traditional sports, outdoor sports, yoga, etc..) is a part of the lifestyle and seems a common point of interest for a large portion of the the people here.

@ Schneekugel
Yes that is what I meant by "ear-buds in". It seems that extreme extroverts seem to not see this as a barrier.

@ Volterra
I can see myself possibly using this. I haven not considered the "brutal honesty approach". However, I think that I would have to carefully phrase this since I am large and intimidating ( at least physically) and could come off too strong too easily.

@ MjrMajorMajor
I am not actually to worried about the hours after more consideration. I am an online student at the moment and realized that it would not hamper my lifestyle to simply be nocturnal.

@ sacrip & Marky9
I do an amalgamation of exercise types and change routines every 60 - 90 days. So sticking to body weight exclusively will not be much help to me. The unsolicited advice is the worst form of interruption in my book. I have been studying this rigorously for 10 years (in college and out) and your going to stand there and give me you musclemag/internet-trend advice please do me a favor and go drop that barbell on your head please... Asking me for the occasional help or spot is not a problem for me. Small rant over.

I can't go to regular gyms for the exact reason the OP said. I don't want to socialize, and I don't want to be given OR asked advice. It sounds like there's not much more that anyone can do, to keep to themselves at a gym, so I don't have any suggestions on that. I'm lucky to have my own gym at home, and I've never set foot in a public one. I'm not only wanting to be left alone, but I also have always been self-conscious, and don't like it if anyone watches me working out. When I say I'm lucky, I mean that I was able to build a real gym in the house with professional machines, and even a full-size cable crossover. I wouldn't be able to do what I do, if I only had a "normal" home gym machine or a simple bench.

If circumstances were different, and I had to join a gym, I think I'd be miserable and not do so well with my routine, and DEFINITELY my results would not be what they are.

Charles
[img][img]http://i104.photobucket.com/albums/m174/kx250racer/th_WeightroomwithCablecrossadded_zps10b45a89.jpg[/img][/img]

I'm a loner, but there are times when I enjoy talking to other people who lift weights (I don't talk to anyone there unless they talk to me first, though). People don't see me as being standofish in any way for talking about Reg Park, my diet or stuff like that, though, and nobody expect much of me socially--so the gym is a sanctuary.

@kx250rider: I wish I had your weight room.

I wish I had the space to setup a decent home gym. But living in a small condo can limit my space quite a bit. I have a free standing metal/welded Pull-up bar on my front porch but that is the extent.

I have results have taken a hit in the last 6 months or so since this started occurring. Snap Fitness is not exactly my ideal gym either. Unfortunately, while the place I live is fantastic, there are no decent lifting gyms.

In a few months, after winter ends(I live up north), I am considering cutting my lifting down to 3 days a week and adding outdoor exercise during the other 4 days. Kayaking, rowing, hiking, trail running, backpacking etc... All activities that I have experience with. All easy to do where I live also. I would try this for about 60 days and see how it goes. This gives me a break between gym visits so that I am not facing the constant emotional erosion from social interaction. Also I wouldn't mind building up my endurance into a semblance of my military days.

Thoughts?

I do my gym work out and I rarely interact with anyone at the gym
I listen to my IPod to motivate me and it aids in giving the appearance that I do not want to talk to anyone.
I have social anxiety and not interacting avoids making me nervous and anxious.