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Need help with a Schizophrenic friend..

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ddanne
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19 Apr 2012, 11:27 am

Well, one of my classmates has schizophrenia catatonic and has been told to sit beside me, because I am the "nerd" at school and I can help her.
The point is that I can't to this. I am very good at different subjects, but there're things I can't do for her. Also, I can't explain all the things. I try my best to be as flexible as I can, and I want to hear her voice, but at times it confuses me. I am failing at school because I have to help her and I end up without doing my work.
I am a really anxious person, so when she talks, and everything is noisy, and she wants to be heard, I easily have headaches and shutdowns. Last time I've been called to go to school office because of this.
I want to know, what can I do to help her, and help myself with this too.
I'm thinking about talking to the Principal and ask for a seat change, but I don't want to be mean with her. :/
( Sorry for my english )


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cathylynn
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19 Apr 2012, 11:54 am

since it's causing you not to be able to do your own work, i think asking for a seat change is fair. perhaps the girl needs a tutor, not just a fellow student.



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19 Apr 2012, 12:04 pm

cathylynn wrote:
since it's causing you not to be able to do your own work, i think asking for a seat change is fair. perhaps the girl needs a tutor, not just a fellow student.


Well yeah it's kind of unfair they expect you to neglect your own work to help a fellow student you aren't qualified to help. Why doesn't the school hire a tutor or someone who is more qualified? that would make more sense then expecting another student with anxiety issues to look out for their own school work and someone else's.


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Rylan
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19 Apr 2012, 12:22 pm

I think they need to provide proper help themselves as it is the schools responsibility to help her not yours.
Or if they are unable- move her to another school.


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ddanne
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19 Apr 2012, 12:55 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
since it's causing you not to be able to do your own work, i think asking for a seat change is fair. perhaps the girl needs a tutor, not just a fellow student.


Well yeah it's kind of unfair they expect you to neglect your own work to help a fellow student you aren't qualified to help. Why doesn't the school hire a tutor or someone who is more qualified? that would make more sense then expecting another student with anxiety issues to look out for their own school work and someone else's.


Yes, I know. I told my mom the same, but my school is pretty much a disaster.
I really don't know why she doesn't have a tutor.
I can help her when there's nothing going on, but it seems like there're times, she can't understand the language I'm using. Sometimes she gets very slow, and I need to have patience, but other times, she wants everything at the moment, and I feel like I want to scream: Please stop right now !
In the end, I just want to be fair. She says I'm her best friend, I don't want to disappoint her, but It's enough for me.


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?I?m alive,? said Douglas. ?But what?s the use? They?re more alive than me. How come? How come?
And standing alone, he knew the answer, staring down at his motionless feet?

-Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine


Sweetleaf
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19 Apr 2012, 1:29 pm

ddanne wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
since it's causing you not to be able to do your own work, i think asking for a seat change is fair. perhaps the girl needs a tutor, not just a fellow student.


Well yeah it's kind of unfair they expect you to neglect your own work to help a fellow student you aren't qualified to help. Why doesn't the school hire a tutor or someone who is more qualified? that would make more sense then expecting another student with anxiety issues to look out for their own school work and someone else's.


Yes, I know. I told my mom the same, but my school is pretty much a disaster.
I really don't know why she doesn't have a tutor.
I can help her when there's nothing going on, but it seems like there're times, she can't understand the language I'm using. Sometimes she gets very slow, and I need to have patience, but other times, she wants everything at the moment, and I feel like I want to scream: Please stop right now !
In the end, I just want to be fair. She says I'm her best friend, I don't want to disappoint her, but It's enough for me.


Well have you talked to her about any of this? I mean nothing wrong with being her friend but that does not mean you have the skills to help her academically. Also, is it possible when your having trouble explaining something you could maybe ask for a teachers help or something. But yeah I've never dealt with anything like that.


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ddanne
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19 Apr 2012, 1:57 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
ddanne wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
cathylynn wrote:
since it's causing you not to be able to do your own work, i think asking for a seat change is fair. perhaps the girl needs a tutor, not just a fellow student.


Well yeah it's kind of unfair they expect you to neglect your own work to help a fellow student you aren't qualified to help. Why doesn't the school hire a tutor or someone who is more qualified? that would make more sense then expecting another student with anxiety issues to look out for their own school work and someone else's.


Yes, I know. I told my mom the same, but my school is pretty much a disaster.
I really don't know why she doesn't have a tutor.
I can help her when there's nothing going on, but it seems like there're times, she can't understand the language I'm using. Sometimes she gets very slow, and I need to have patience, but other times, she wants everything at the moment, and I feel like I want to scream: Please stop right now !
In the end, I just want to be fair. She says I'm her best friend, I don't want to disappoint her, but It's enough for me.


Well have you talked to her about any of this? I mean nothing wrong with being her friend but that does not mean you have the skills to help her academically. Also, is it possible when your having trouble explaining something you could maybe ask for a teachers help or something. But yeah I've never dealt with anything like that.


I always think about telling her, but I'm afraid she doesn't know that I know about her illness.
I talked to my maths teacher because I can't "explain" maths to her. But at others subjects she should be able to work by herself, and instead, she can't even read the chalkboard, or understand simple questions like : "what do you do at school?"
It's very complicated to deal with her.


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?I?m alive,? said Douglas. ?But what?s the use? They?re more alive than me. How come? How come?
And standing alone, he knew the answer, staring down at his motionless feet?

-Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine


heavenlyabyss
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21 Apr 2012, 12:36 am

Aww, that's sad. Catatonic schizophrenia is extremely disabling. If her thinking and speech is disorganized, there is probably very little you for her other than be a kind voice.

She needs a one-on-one aid. Your teacher should know this and shouldn't place such demands on you. I would tell her after class sometime that you have a disability of your own, and that you can't deal with her loudness and behavior, and request a seat change. Or if not a seat change, just say you can't always be helping her with everything.



ddanne
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21 Apr 2012, 7:39 am

heavenlyabyss wrote:
Aww, that's sad. Catatonic schizophrenia is extremely disabling. If her thinking and speech is disorganized, there is probably very little you for her other than be a kind voice.

She needs a one-on-one aid. Your teacher should know this and shouldn't place such demands on you. I would tell her after class sometime that you have a disability of your own, and that you can't deal with her loudness and behavior, and request a seat change. Or if not a seat change, just say you can't always be helping her with everything.


Thanks for caring, and yes, I'll talk about it on Monday, which is the day the school's principal will be there.
I'm hoping this could help both of us.


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?I?m alive,? said Douglas. ?But what?s the use? They?re more alive than me. How come? How come?
And standing alone, he knew the answer, staring down at his motionless feet?

-Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine


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21 Apr 2012, 6:46 pm

ddanne wrote:
Well, one of my classmates has schizophrenia catatonic and has been told to sit beside me, because I am the "nerd" at school and I can help her.
The point is that I can't to this. I am very good at different subjects, but there're things I can't do for her. Also, I can't explain all the things. I try my best to be as flexible as I can, and I want to hear her voice, but at times it confuses me. I am failing at school because I have to help her and I end up without doing my work.
I am a really anxious person, so when she talks, and everything is noisy, and she wants to be heard, I easily have headaches and shutdowns. Last time I've been called to go to school office because of this.
I want to know, what can I do to help her, and help myself with this too.
I'm thinking about talking to the Principal and ask for a seat change, but I don't want to be mean with her. :/
( Sorry for my english )

Your teacher is out of line! It is not a student's job to fill the role of an aide or professional- especially since it's likely to affect your grades. Tell your teacher this, and if she doesn't listen, go to your principal.


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