Boyfriend with asperger, difficult..

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Hi! I am an Norwegian 32 year old women. My boyfriend have asperger, and I found my self often very lonely in this relationship.
It seems like he is all gone in his own world, and he keeps talking without stop about all these things that doesent interested me at all. He keeps talking all day long about how things work, how to use things, what things that you can buy to uppgrade the things, how they are build. And its everything. It makes me so eksosted, and I get more and more tired every day. Now all I want is to sleep.
He ignore almost everything I want to talk about, at dosent really respond to anything. I feel so lost, lonely an invinseble. I have been working so hard to connect with him, but now I dont have energy for that anymore. What to do? It doesent help him to tell him this, i have tryed so many times, nothing changes.

He isn't going to change. You may want to consider whether or not you can deal with him the way he is. Do you care for him enough to learn to adapt?

I always wondered how NT women can fall in love with aspie men who ignore everything they say/do and/or only talk about their nerdy interest. There appear to be quite a few, based on the number of posts on wrong planet, but I surely haven't met any, or I would have picked one up by now. Showing a lack of interest in what a woman finds interesting seems to be the exact opposite of what works in all my experiences.

If you're really serious and care about him a lot, then you should do all the reading you can about Asperger's so you can understand him better. It will take a lot of reading and experimenting with different strategies to see what works with him, but it'll be worth it in the end. The understanding won't make the problems disappear, but it will make it much easier for you to adapt to the way he thinks and it'll help you to see things from his perspective. Once he's aware you have an understanding of him, he will be more likely to open up to you and discuss with you how it affects him. This will help you to communicate your needs to eachother more effectively and you'll at least be on the same wavelength once a solid understanding between the both of you is achieved.

Have you tried telling him exactly how you feel and what the consequences might be if he refuses to change, to listen to you and to take what you have to say on board and put it into practice? If he steadfastly refuses to change, then you have to start wondering what on Earth you are getting out of this.

I think the trick is to convince him to see you as a special interest.

Of course then, he might never stop asking you how you are doing and what you are thinking (I sometimes drive my wife nuts like this).

The key, in my opinion, is to have MUTUAL interests. That way he can go down the rabbit hole and take you along for the ride. If you establish mutual interests, he may start to diversify interests and at that time, you may become one of them as he attempts to accommodate your interest in his interests (which appears to be what he wants and needs from you).

Remember, he only talks about his interests because he is obsessively compelled to try to interest you and engage you in conversation. This in itself may be a HUGE leap for him. I think this is an opportunity for you.

Both people need to be equally accomidating to the other person in a relationship. AS may be an explaination for some of these issues but it isn't an excuse.

Sometiimes i throw my hand up and say my turn. And sometimes i tell him it isnt about him. Right then and there. I dont wait for it to fester. Speak clearly and concisely. My husband is very smart, but small words work best in the moment you are feeling left out. I dont yell. I state it calmly. This has helped me.