Such high standards
Um nothing new here, all women think that way. It's not the correct way to value a person. None of that stuff "is" a person. "Personal" achievements are personal and do not affect you. "Friends" are his friends and do not affect you. His "career" is his business only... Ect ect ect.
Last edited by SIDWULF on 15 Jan 2015, 10:41 am, edited 2 times in total.
Maybe a little soap, water, and deodorant wouldn't hurt, either ...

goldfish21
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
I've suggested that several times to the OP bur ge says he's uninterested in changing himself for others, which is why I've said he'll get as he's always got if he continues to do as he's always done. All that's fine, but he keeps posting about it vs. taking advice and making changes, so the posts amount to whining. (IMO)
_________________
No

I've suggested that several times to the OP bur ge says he's uninterested in changing himself for others, which is why I've said he'll get as he's always got if he continues to do as he's always done. All that's fine, but he keeps posting about it vs. taking advice and making changes, so the posts amount to whining. (IMO)
I can't stand that constant vicitim mentality. Fine if you don't want to change yourself, but just accept the fact that this will make your chances of finding a partner smaller.
You're per definition on thin ice imo when you start to bring morality into the subject of dating and attraction as it's simply not about that. Nobody chooses to feel attracted to someone because they figure he deserves it nor is it anything to be demanded. If anything, you're crossing a boundary at that point that you really shouldn't cross.
Also, it may be useful to reconsider if the 'problem' is high standards or just general lack of attraction for some other reason. There're plenty of guys who don't look horrible and/or at least average, have a pretty nice job and aren't overweight who have considerable difficulty in getting a date while at the same time other individuals who supposedly 'shouldn't' be able to, get a girlfriend with way more ease than the guy who finds himself struggling. Admittedly, it's perhaps somewhat difficult for me to speak for others as I don't really have a list of demands or standards. On the other hand I'm not very inclined to date a lot and eventually am quite picky because I tend to look for someone that is genuinely compatible with me, not costing me too much energy and with whom I think spending quite a lot of time will be enjoyable and work out. (never mind the fact that I'm suffering from the effects of the season and feel pretty run down, (emotionally) tired, sad and perhaps slightly depressed; don't want to burden anyone with that) (it will pass)
Because there's not really a morality to speak of when it comes to attraction it's pointless to hate on people for not being attracted to at least the way you present yourself, just because they ''should'' or ''ought to''. Is it really the standards, or perhaps your words and descriptions of yourself carry a hidden aura of unattractive or undesirable traits? For instance, texts by and about a person almost inherently communicate some of the writer's 'soul' or 'personality' to the reader. What if your attitude has an edge of defeatism? Or too much self-pity? The reader might not even be consciously aware of it but that can be enough to make you off-putting or at least not seem very positive and interesting. Perhaps you don't look like you take enough care of yourself- yet another thing that makes people less likely to want to date you.
Not saying any of the above is the case in any of you guys' profiles or general attitudes, but I'm just trying to explain that maybe the lack of dates and attraction doesn't come from a cold hard superficial demand checklist that you don't exactly 100% meet, but because something about you, your attitude or what you say gives other people a wrong or less desirable impression. And sometimes standards aren't particularly high, but they may seem so if you don't meet them.
Besides, especially for men it'll be difficult to actually find a suitable partner through a dating site. It's probably not the best medium to use, especially if you aren't particularly good-looking or extremely witty.
_________________
Crazy cat lady, unfortunately without the cats.
(not a native speaker)
The flaw in this thinking is that success in this world often means have the wherewithal to do what it takes to survive or get ahead, which often means pushing petty morality aside.... Thus it's simply not a good gauge for love, not that anyone in this world really cares, humans have a great adoration for power -- both men and women. Telling a women not to find love in power is like telling her to give up a life of comfort, though the comfort comes at a price, in that the love was never real, people don't really care because the illusion can simply prop itself up through physical affirmations, luxuries and distractions. We've essentially crafted a society of constant distraction, so she essentially doesn't need to face the truth until she's on her deathbed.
It's sad because despite our reason, our ability to see ahead, despite the fact that we know death is coming, we attach to love all the temporal fixtures it could possibly have, and despite all our reason, logic and intellect, we're unable to ascribe any eternal significance to love, it becomes precisely what the animals do -- a ritual fixated around power, intended to eliminate the weak, but the problem here is that weak doesn't mean evil, and strong doesn't mean good.
The courting process needs to measure character in order for love to regain it's eternal significance, because character is the only thing you will take out of this world, and it's character that needs to pass through generations -- not strength, character survives in weakness, though it's tested by power with its timeless ability of corruption, but it's only character that is aware of that danger.
Anyways, here is what is a picture that sums all of this up

Satan tempts the world to Jesus, while Jesus stares to heaven. Jesus wants the spiritual side of love, and he is quite aware of the deceptive nature of this physical world. Satan is the god of this world and he would triumph in loves deception here. Anyone who acts as a minichrist in this world, is going to suffer in the physical sense, though their spirit will find its way to a place where love is everlasting.
Your posts are so beautiful! And i dont even belive in religion.
anyways you and goldfish just prove my needing to kill myself. I really see no point in living in a pointless cruel world
It’s not pointless. The point of life is to fight for survival and the perpetuation of your genes; each living being has its own strategy, and humans, being so versatile, are more diverse in this regard than any other species. In fact, we undergo cultural evolution, in addition to the slower biological one. If you fight for what you want in life, you might lose; if you give up, you’ve already lost.
The disenfranchised male tends to see something that is quite scary and dark in this world, and that is humanity's vanity. Males are without inherent value, so they can see the truth in all its sad and depressing form, it's this side of God that is also quite powerless, which reflects in a poor man's situation. The love that we want is the love that God wants, but it's the rarest and most precious kind of love, but it's the only thing of value in this world of vanity -- the love that gives itself freely.
Beautiful!
If you dont belive in religion all this unfairness can be explained by unguided, uncaring, naturally occuring evolution. We are all demented creatures with bizzare morality issues simply because that is how our physical environment shaped us.
Maybe a little soap, water, and deodorant wouldn't hurt, either ...

and what about the millions who can't evolve despite trying and trying. not everyone can be successful, or the word would be meaningless. if everyone was great then no one would be great. if everyone was a billionaire, then being a billionaire would be average, and prices on stuff would skyrocket of course.
goldfish21
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Maybe a little soap, water, and deodorant wouldn't hurt, either ...

and what about the millions who can't evolve despite trying and trying. not everyone can be successful, or the word would be meaningless. if everyone was great then no one would be great. if everyone was a billionaire, then being a billionaire would be average, and prices on stuff would skyrocket of course.
The people who become successful, or great, or even Billionaires are the ones who never ever Ever stop trying.
Now, instead of ignoring everyone who has given you constructive criticism & examples of positive changes you could make to yourself and in your life, you could actually decide to try some of them and see if you get results you'd rather have.
_________________
No

The whole victim mentality is just so disfunctional. My boyfriend didn't come out of thin air.
I know no one is and I know it's not impossible but very unlikely that I'll find someone who could bear me but it still is incredibly difficult to accept that. Technically, this makes my standards high. Even if other people have long lists for their potential partners, their standards are lower than mine because eventually they do find someone.
I try to be self sufficient. I live for myself and I improve myself for me. But not because I don't like people. I do. I try to help others whenever I can. I just happen to be an undesirable person and there isn't much I can do about that. I wish someone would reject for something I have done or something I haven't done and not for who I am.
Come on guys, you understand what I mean
On dating sites, your profile picture is 95% of the deal. Women care about looks, men care about looks--and that's perfectly natural. There are more men than women on dating sites, which may cause some women to think that they are more attractive than they really are, though.
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“He who controls the spice controls the universe.”
I agree with goldfish to a degree. I honestly belive his naturopath "cure" isnt bragging and that he is honestly trying to help people by telling his story. At the same time I dont belive naturopath is the answer, if it was it would be common knowledge by now! I eat healthy, mostly super foods with loaded nutritional value and i excersise regularly. I take pharmaceuticals for the issues that my diet and exercise haven't cured (ocd related obsessions and anxiety) This should be enough science for any sane person.
I also see quote battles as crazy and pointless
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