What Internet Dating Sites tend to work for people with AS.?

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Hello everyone. First of all I would like to give a very brief introduction. I am Antonio, a 35 year old man in Northampton MA. I have has AS all of my live, and awareness of it for around the last 15 years or so. I have thought a lot about getting back into dating, and I have done from research on writing a good profile. My question is this...what website or other internet dating services have worked for people with AS. I know that I will have to spend some money to do anything with on-line dating, but I was wondering if any sites were more AS friendly than others. Thanks for taking the time to help me with this.

I think none of them. OkC might work if you have a few traits that "stick out", and that they screen for.

The best alternative is to meet girls in real life, preferentially in organized group activities.

My first thought was the same as what rdos wrote. If you are relatively unfamiliar with internet dating, then start with one of the free sites, such as okcupid.com. (To be honest, the only good thing I can say about okcupid.com is that it is not quite as bad as pof.com.)

Amongst the many regular dating websites, a few of them claim to have special techniques for matching people, such as by common personality traits, shared interests, etc. (for example, be2.com, eharmony.com, parship.com). Would those be better for people on the autism spectrum? (The problem is, there is not any independent research showing that those matching techniques work, http://psi.sagepub.com/content/13/1/1.short .)

There are (or were) several dating websites targeted towards people on the autism spectrum (for example, http://www.aspienation.com/ , http://www.aspieology.com , http://www.aspie-singles.com , http://www.autisticdating.net/ , https://www.spectrumsingles.com/ , etc.), and/or to people with disabilities (for example, http://www.disabledpassions.com/groups/Autism.html , http://dating4disabled.com/ , http://www.disabledunited.com/ , http://www.nolongerlonely.com/ , http://www.prescription4love.com/ , http://www.whispers4u.com/ , etc.). Would people on the autism spectrum be better off dating other people with disabilities?

The best advice I can offer is to try several dating websites, but do not use more than two different sites at the same time, and try take breaks from the whole process. Finally, keep in mind that many people find online dating to be difficult, and so you should not expect any miracles.

Facebook works for me, as does Twitter, but I've been able to meet significantly more people through Facebook.

I used Plenty of Fish and then OKCupid. This is in the UK, about 7 and 6 years back, respectively, and before I was assessed and diagnosed. However, I knew I was strange, and I put effort into my profile to convey that. I saw it as a sort of obstacle course - if they were interested enough to read through what I said and still want to contact me (or reply to me), there was a good chance we'd get on.

Given how picky I am (going through profile after profile of people who don't interest you gets kind of deadening), and how much of an acquired taste I am, I did alright.

I suppose it is a bit too early to say much, but i set up a profile on OkCupid. The women I sent messages to did not seem terribly interested in me. A couple of women sent messages to me. I started corresponding with one. We have gone on a few dates now and while we haven't committed to any relationship beyond the friendship we are currently developing, she has said things that indicate she expects to continue to see me for the foreseeable future.

I think what has worked for me here is that I went on the dating site with few expectations of the kind of woman I might date. I used to take a sort of all-or-nothing approach to love. Either she had to be the woman I was absolutely in love with or I wasn't interested. Here, I am taking more of a "I'll get to know her and see how we feel" approach. I don't know if we will fall in love with each other, but I'm open to giving it a chance.

Of course it has taken me to the age of 50 to be able to approach dating with this level of calm. I think any dating site can be useful so long as you approach it from the right direction. Dating sites are about introducing people to one another, nothing more. The work of getting to know someone, seeing them on a reglar basis, falling in love etc. is beyond the scope of these sites. If you think of these sites as "introduction sites" rather than "dating sites" you may find that you interact with the people on them in a better way.

OkCupid seems to be the best one but I might be saying that because I am heavily tattooed, bearded and alternative in my interests.

Plenty of Fish seems to work well for some people so it might appeal to a certain demographic, I had better success with OkCupid so it might depend on what demographic you are in.

I tried a local site in my country but all I found was women who wanted to get married to rich men. So I left.

I had success on OKcupid and its free, no having to pay money, though I think it also helps that I live in a pretty large city/area so there was a higher chance of finding others who are more on the fringe of society or are somewhat atypical...than if I lived somewhere with very few people. So if you live in a rather large town/city with multiple demographics of people I think its a good site to meet people to date for anyone. If you live in a smaller area though it really depends a lot more on the sort of people/demographic and if you fit in with it, so it can be more difficult in places with low population.

The only site I had any success at all was with eHarmony. All the other sites were full of nasty, superficial women who expected perfection and for you to act 'perfectly'. I did find my Fiancee with eHarmony but I would recommend online dating only in small amounts.

OKCupid in particular is full of people who all think they are the hippest, most creative, most beautiful, etc. and narcissistic traits are rampant there. Ugh what a waste of time that place was: don't think I met one 'normal' person there. I won't even go into POF: the women there were downright scary and I can only imagine what the men are like!

I should also mention that my Fiancee's profile was not even one of the hundreds of eHarmony matches but was a 'flex match'. On paper we had little in common but what a match we are in real life: I almost passed her by because nothing stood out on her profile other than good grammar and spelling (a rarity online). Did I mention that I have met a number of women I saw online and almost every single one of them is still single?

I would suggest groups like meetup.com or local community groups as the best way of meeting people.