25 male aspire who has never had a girlfriend

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If you've asked out 40 women and you're getting rejected by all of them, then you're probably doing something fundamentally wrong that makes women reject you. It could be anything such as.

- Your physical appearance is lacking in some way shape or form. Maybe you don't take care of your physical appearance. Your personal hygiene is bad, you don't shower, you don't comb your hair, you don't have a fashion sense. Maybe it's because you're obese, and you look like a stereotypical neckbeard. Working out, going to the gym, fixing up your hair and fashion sense, should fix this.

- You're unemployed and still live with your parents. If this is the case, work on becoming independent before you worry about dating. Because at 25 years old, it's expected that you have a job and you're living on your own.

- You're doing something wrong with your body language and vocal tonality. You don't look at people in the eyes, you slouch, you speak timidly, you hover around people without saying anything which can be misinterpreted as creepy.

- You're doing something that is bad socially, it could be anything.



Nobody here can tell you what you're doing wrong because none of us know who you are, we're just a bunch of random strangers on the internet.

So my advice would be to go to someone who you know and trust in real life and tell them about your dating struggles and have them give you honest feedback on what you're doing wrong. You may not like what you hear, but it will help you.

Based on what you've said here, my guess would be your problem is one of two things (or maybe both).

The first is physical attractiveness, including style, grooming etc. Are you significantly overweight? Because if you are that's probably your number 1 problem right there. Do you consider your style much? The clothes you wear, your hairstyle, etc. Because if not then you'd do well to invest more time and energy into developing a personal style that projects an image to others that you want them to see. If all other things are good, good clothes and a good hhairstyle can make a drastic difference.

The second thing you.might have problems with is your approach. Of the 40 women you've approached, how many of them did you have a previously-established rapport with? How many were you friends or acquaintances with? Asking out random people on the street or even in bars and clubs is rarely going to work unless you're particularly attractive, or at least more attractive than the person you ask out, and it will almost never work out if the person you're approaching is comparatively more attractive than you. Moreover, if you're awkward in your approach or not particularly interesting/asking mundane questions like "hi how are you?", you're even less likely to achieve favourable results. In my opinion, you're better off frequenting a place where you'll see the same woman/women recurringly, you can establish rapport with them, get to know them a bit and then when the moment's right you can ask them out/see if they're interested in hanging out with you in a different setting at a mutually suitable time.

I NEVER had luck getting a girlfriend offline either. I met my current girlfriend & both my exes on forums. I think my personality is appealing to some women after they've gotten to know me a bit & i express myself better online than offline. I was single & looking many years between girlfriend's thou. I tried LOTS of dating sites & I had no luck on them either but I'd bet most people would have better luck than me if they give some a good try. I would of gone the mail-order bride route if I would of had the money & resources & I would of taken in a woman who needed a place to stay if I would of had my own place.

I'm 36, can anyone give me suggestions? I have had 1 relationship in my adult life, though it was solely a friendly sexual relationship (she was far too old for me). It lasted 2 years and we parted ways as friends. I can get on a dating site and easily get sex but that isn't what I want, I want a relationship. I feel I don't really have much to offer a woman who isn't disabled, what's some good ways of finding disabled women? I figured it would be best to find a woman that is autistic, with similar severe social phobia issues like myself. I feel I don't have much to offer because I'm 36, live with my mom, have no car, have no job, social phobia so bad that I'm instantly uncomfortable just leaving the house. Sadly, doctors don't spend much time trying to help me, they just throw medications at me, the meds so far do absolutely nothing to resolve my issues with discomfort. Should I hide my issues when talking to women? Seems wasteful of their time to do such, so I'm upfront about my situation. I feel dating sites is my best option, I don't exactly meet alot of people in person, though I will goto the grocery store, I don't feel comfortable confronting anyone there, it seems lame to try to hit on a woman while riddled with fear, then to add I live with my mom and do not work. I recently became unable to work, so it really sucks to be in this situation. The problem with dating sites is more than likely obvious to most people, scams, tons more men than women, obsessively prevented men bombing women with "d" pictures. Meeting for sex, I may even send one, though I wait until it's requested. I thought about autistic dating sites, after research it seems that's not a good choice either, lack of people in general. What exactly is autism meeting groups? I'm new to the diagnosis, I hide my weirdness from everybody my entire life, I knew I was different, I just thought I was weird and crazy, so it feels alot better to know I'm autistic.

I used to just be ok with being alone, as I get older though, my interests seem so dull without anyone to share them with, and I have always desired a relationship built on love, I'm a good man and have a big heart, it's just a matter of getting past my fear to get to know me. Anyway, what to do??

O. Sorry, I didn't know you're supposed to start your own thread to ask a question. Related question...I was sticking to my standard way of talking on forums. My bad.

I wonder if its a generational thing, like I wonder if it used to be the norm for guys to have their first girlfriend in their teens, but in this generation, it's much more common for guys to be entering their 20s, 30s, or older and never had a girlfriend before.

Aspergers is a social developmental disorder which means it takes longer for Aspies to develop socially.

Maybe if Aspies received continuous social training during their teenage years that may help, but I've never heard of anyone getting that. Sort of like my math and english training, I never had a semester in high school in which I didn't have a math or english class. Shouldn't Aspies have training all through high school so they don't fall behind? Training all the way through having a steady relationship.

Yes, I think that lack of skill in making, developing and maintaining relationships is particularly troublesome for many people with Autism / Asperger Syndrome. So much I personally think that the various countries social services should set something up to help facilitate the various skills and life skills that are needed to make, develop and maintain them.

I myself have had a few girl friends, and was married once (which was the biggest nightmare of my life to be honest, and potentially ruined my life due to her slander etc. but that's another story).

However i realise now that the reason why I had any success at all was down to looks (at least when i was younger) and perhaps sense of humour, plus in most cases a helping hand from alcohol.

Other than that, I am fairly clueless.
The funny thing, when i was younger i was desperate for a girl friend and thought that having one would make me happy. But when i did eventually have one, who basically did everything she could to ruin my life and ruin my interests.
I realised that having a girl friend or a wife didn't make me happy. Well at least not the type of girl friend or wife she was.

My advice is refuse to change anything about yourself or your life if you really love that part of your life.
I did for a short time, for next to nothing, and what i lost was about a million times more than what i gained.

I also recommend finding someone who has the same interested or passions that you do.

Lastly, I think the idea of getting a girl friend or wife from Asia may be worth considering, for someone with Asperger's that is. As some Thai girls can be thankful to have someone rescue them from their poverty.

Some may view this as unfair exploitation on the westerners perspective, however, or the Asian woman only wants the man for his western money and green card. However, I think that isn't fair on either parties. Yes, of course all relationships generally get started because one or both parties wants something from the other.
So why not make it work for both parties.

To be honest. I think that suffering from Asperger Syndrome does mean that we have a handicap in the world of neuro typicals, especially men, as woman (at least in the UK) generally do not have to make the first move so get snapped up by normal folks, and we as Asperger's do not have a particularly good skill set to start, develop and maintain relationships.

So, as we are in a tough place, and some of the Asian girls are also in a tough place.
Why not make it work for both parties and make it work.
Although in my experience try and find a partner that can handle your problems, such as high tolerance for stress and strangeness. And perhaps someone who will be happy with your living circumstances. As otherwise, she may get her green card and hop. But hey, at least you will have had at least one girl friend.

I would start saving if i were you.
good luck.
cheers

my brother is 26 and never had one

@ALL: The OP has made only 3 posts, the last of which was on 2019/01/18.