Why would this be a deal breaker?

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Why would having a monotone voice and lack of facial expressions be a big deal breaker when it comes to a guy on the spectrum trying to attract women?

It probably has more to do with a lack of eye contact. When NTs look into each others eyes, it releases a hormonal chain. One of the effects of those hormones is it causes NTs to lower their guard, to perceive a person as friendly. But Aspies generally do not look people in the eye and that is interpreted as someone who is trying to hide something, someone who is untrustworthy.

Because it comes across as weird and unsettling. If you're not familiar with the term "uncanny valley" look it up. Basically, you look human, but you don't exactly ACT human, so it creeps people out.

Then how would we explain Bill Belichick?

Hey - maybe that explains how I fell for my ex (and managed to stay so long). He had the most amazing soft blue eyes and I had no trouble looking at them at all. With everyone else at that time I always looked down and away after a few seconds.

Sorry not following... I know who he is but I don't get it

Bill Belichick, the coach of the New England Patriots, is supposed to have Aspie traits.

Ah I see. Well in that case, the answer is obvious. His net worth is supposed to be estimated at about $35 million. Some women will forgive a lot of faults if the guy has enough money. I mean look at both of Trump's sons.

I used to be mostly monotone until someone I respected pointed it out (I was over 30). I worked on the smile first, got a dental bridge, and taught myself to speak with a slight smile (my face hurt). It didn't take long for me to realize how well people were responding to me. The good reactions relieved a little stress, so I smiled more, and it became natural after a while. It helped advance me at work and I was paid a lot more in a short time. There are def benefits to changing your demeanor. I don't care about money the way NTs do, but it has allowed me more choices in life. A simple change in my manner made a lot of things easier for me!

Lack of expression (or strange expressions) might:

1) Simply not be attractive. Similarly to how physical traits can be unattractive. It's difficult to explain why exactly. It's similar to how many women prefer men taller than themselves. Short isn't ugly, but to some it is not attractive.

2) May be perceived as boring. How engaging a conversation is, is also influenced by how things are said and not only by what is said.

3) May be perceived as bored or bothered by the person trying to make conversation with them. Their monotone voice may not convey that they enjoy the conversation with the other person.

4) May be perceived as creepy or uncomfortable because that's how people sometimes feel about situations they can not interpret or because of a wrong interpretation they come up with.

When I was in college, I had a girl who took pity on me and showed me how to kiss. She was from South America and the girls there are much more adept in that area. She explained to me all the different types of kissing such as the simple kiss, the French kiss, the truly romantic kiss, the kiss that leaves a mark (Hickey Kiss), a kiss where you lock your jaws together and we practiced each technique.

But the most important kiss of all was the truly romantic kiss. The secret is that it is all done with the eyes. First you need to be alone and remain perfectly quiet. You need to look deep within their eyes until you can see the shadow of their soul, then you slowly move your faces together without breaking eye contact. And then kiss the girl on her lips. She demonstrated the technique and I could see her point. I would have never known, not in a million years.

I guess it’s the lack of so called enthusiasm and action

How would you like a monotone voice and a lack of facial expression in a woman?

I wouldn't notice the lack of facial expression. I don't look at people's faces that much & even if I would my vision is so bad I probably wouldn't see their facial expressions that well. A monotone voice may be better in a partner than a partner who starts yelling whenever she gets emotional, happy/excited, angry/upset, hyper ect.

I always thought playing it safe proves to be boring. You need some yin with your yang or nothing good will ever happen.

It doesn't seem to be a problem for Keanu Reeves.