Stop with these delusions please.

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What is NEVER considered as a sign of interest:
- Someone smiling at you in any public once in a while does not EVER mean they fancy you.
- Someone who casually says Hi to you and pass by without stopping and attempting to open a conversation with you.
- Getting a stare from someone or from some people does not always mean something positive, maybe you are wearing a very ugly and weird sweater. Attention =/= attraction.
- PLEASE stop thinking of waiters/shop assistants/cashiers/nurses or anyone during some work in customer service job as a love interest; and stop taking any greeting gestures they make as 'signs'. No they are not. No one in the mood for hunting potential lovers during their work shift.


What may considered as interest:
- If they initiate texting with you just to check on you (favors don't count)
- If everytime they come all the way to say hi to you and open a conversation with you
- If they invite you to meals or to outings
- If they buy little things for you, like a snack, some chocolate, or a souvenir gift for you.
- And most importantly, the frequency of the things they do the above, they have to be very frequent. A one occurence never counts.


This is a lengthy personal anecdote on the matter:
viewtopic.php?t=387442

I never assumed someone was interested in me unless they made a very direct move. I'm too oblivious to notice half of these so-called 'signs of interest' anyway. I have made a move on various women after talking with them a little(in person or online) because I thought they seemed nice & perhaps would be willing to give a chance. I NEVER assumed that they were already interested in a relationship with me & were hinting around waiting for me to make the direct move.

I am not so sure about labelling these more subtle behaviours as always NOT being signs of interest. I think the main thing here is not to chase women, regardless if they have shown interest in you or not. Chasing women makes you look desperate and needy.

I agree about not chasing women. However if your desperate & needy it may be best not to pretend that your not, if this makes sense. Pretending not to be might help someone get a relationship but the woman might quickly realize the guy is not what he appeared to be in the beginning which could cause conflict & lead to the relationship ending. I was upfront about being desperate & needy & my current girlfriend was interested in me partly because she's the same way. My previous relationship was with a woman who wanted a bit more space & had a high desire to be more independent & we had lots of fights before she dumped me. I didn't give her a false impression but we both kinda realized we were not compatible along with other things & she was still trying to figure herself out.

So am I. It resulted me staying single, an incel, for a very long tome. There were and still are lots of women that were hinting. I am not sure (I don't want to be a creep in their eyes), hallucinating. And if a woman is smiling, it is often just friendliness.

I have been bullied, since I was a child, until I was 27 years old. Behaviour from girls and women (hundreds and hundreds of girls and women) are possibly interpreted as bullying or having fun, or testing me, deliberately making me shy or uncomfortable. Flirting didn't exist for me. She had to be very explicit, so that I can rule out other possibilities. She never did.

I still try to find out. I get lots of such signals. Maybe I am very handsome. But because of insecurity I didn't do anything. Chasing would be really the last thing I would do. It is close to stalking to me.

I don’t know who he is but this guy is saying exactly what I said in both threads in super brief way.

I am surprised that the lady is surprised, it is common sense.

I agree with him as well. And I am surprised as well.

But... if the woman shows it, I am confused. She may just want attention, and just that. Nothore more than that.