How old do people think I am?

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Mikurotoro92
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02 Jul 2025, 11:03 am

^the way I see it, sex is necessary if you want to create life but it's not necessary FOR life!! !



ChicagoLiz
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02 Jul 2025, 5:16 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
You're moving the goalposts, likely because you can't address what I actually said.

I specifically said essential for their well-being for a reason. I don't believe not getting laid will kill someone, but it sure seems to dramatically lower quality of life for some people.

That lowered quality of life likely contributes to some deaths of despair, but the cause of death wouldn't directly be listed as couldn't get any but it would also be silly to think that a coroner might explicitly list a lack of sex as a cause of death.

If you're going to give a smug response, at least direct it towards what was actually said.


The Venn Diagram for autistic women and sexual abuse/assault is basically a circle.

So for half of the autistic population, which is our community we're talking about here, 'having sex' dramatically lowers their quality of life.

Sex isn't essential. It's that simple. And sex just to have sex isn't all that great, and can leave you with medical issues.

Why is it 'smug' to point that out, but not smug to belittle someone for pointing that out?

The reality is, men desperate to have sex are scary, and there is pushback in this thread because what some of us are seeing is exactly the type of "I need to get mine" that we have seen is really dangerous out in the world.

No one owes you sex. It is not essential for life. If you would like to be sexually active, pay a professional or figure out how to be someone that attracts people to you. Insisting that other people choosing not to have sex with you lowers your quality of life is not a good look.



funeralxempire
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03 Jul 2025, 1:03 am

ChicagoLiz wrote:
The Venn Diagram for autistic women and sexual abuse/assault is basically a circle.

So for half of the autistic population, which is our community we're talking about here, 'having sex' dramatically lowers their quality of life.


I don't think anyone would disagree that being sexually abused lowers one's quality of life, but that doesn't refute the claim I've made.

ChicagoLiz wrote:
Sex isn't essential. It's that simple.


Source: Trust me bro.

ChicagoLiz wrote:
No one owes you sex.


Please point out where I've ever suggested that were the case.

You can go beyond this thread and use my entire posting history to find an example if you'd like.

You won't find one.


ChicagoLiz wrote:
If you would like to be sexually active, pay a professional or figure out how to be someone that attracts people to you


Have I ever in my posting history complained about not being able to find partners, or otherwise find sexual fulfillment? Since I haven't this argument is little more than a strawman and a sad attempt at insulting me.

I'd also question if oh just pay for it isn't just opening another whole can of worms, given that you can't remove some element of coercion given that people who are dependent upon sex work to pay their bills are facing that coercive pressure at the very least.

ChicagoLiz wrote:
Insisting that other people choosing not to have sex with you lowers your quality of life is not a good look.


If only that were something I had claimed, ever.

You're much better at being insulting than actually addressing what I've actually said, and you're at best a 2/5 when it comes to attempted roasting.


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Last edited by funeralxempire on 03 Jul 2025, 1:30 am, edited 2 times in total.

funeralxempire
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03 Jul 2025, 1:04 am

MaxE wrote:
Very often people on the AS struggle either with having sexual urges they can't satisfy, or having traumatic sexual experiences as a result of their efforts to satisfy those urges. OTOH a significant portion of the community is asexual, and sometimes they give the appearance of thinking that being ace is part and parcel of being autistic, and don't show any sympathy for others who might truly be suffering or in fact at serious risk. I wish we could have a civilized conversation about this.


Agreed.


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03 Jul 2025, 4:29 am

Regarding the OP, appearing younger, if that's indeed the case, could definitely be an advantage, all other things being equal. This would be true if we assume that women are stricter about the higher end of their "age range". So a 32 year old woman might be open to dating a 21 year old man but think a 43.year old man is too old for her.


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Mikurotoro92
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03 Jul 2025, 8:46 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
ChicagoLiz wrote:
It seems that younger generations are starting to figure out that the extreme hype about sex that has permeated our media for a few decades now has been a mistake, and they're choosing to enjoy their lives without concentrating on "oh, I must have sex" all the time. This is more normal for humans over the last tens of thousands of years.

No, sex is not required for life, not like oxygen, water, food, or protection from the elements. It's nice, but so is a hot bath or a good run....optional rather than necessary. Feeling cared for and supported is so much more important, and has absolutely nothing to do with sex most of the time.


Exactly!! !

This might even directly correlate with our current decline in marriage and birth rates!


HOWEVER, this is a "chicken or the egg" type scenario

Did the decline of marriage and children rates lead to decline in sex or is it the other way around (decline of sex led to decline in marriage and children rates)?

Hmm...



Nightwing82
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05 Jul 2025, 4:00 pm

ChicagoLiz wrote:
The Venn Diagram for autistic women and sexual abuse/assault is basically a circle.

So for half of the autistic population, which is our community we're talking about here, 'having sex' dramatically lowers their quality of life.


To be clear, I do not want to diminish this fact in any way. What I take issue with, however, is how readily you assume this only happens to women. I personally am a rape survivor and have experienced sexual assault multiple times in my life.

ChicagoLiz wrote:
Sex isn't essential. It's that simple. And sex just to have sex isn't all that great, and can leave you with medical issues.


This is a more complicated matter than your black-and-white thinking leads you to believe. It isn't essential in the way food or oxygen are, true; but as I mentioned earlier in the thread, it is important for physical and mental health. It is important for maintaining a sense of love and belonging. Some of the mental health effects of not having sex include heightened stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and low self-esteem.

Health benefits of sex: https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/sex-and-health

You made some bold claims, yet you failed to site any sources. This leads me to think you are only speaking of your personal opinion based on your anecdotal experiences, and you simply assume what's true for you is true for everyone.

ChicagoLiz wrote:
The reality is, men desperate to have sex are scary, and there is pushback in this thread because what some of us are seeing is exactly the type of "I need to get mine" that we have seen is really dangerous out in the world.


I see. So now I'm a rapist for having the same needs and desires as most other people?! ! Because having a discussion in a forum specifically labeled as being dedicated to this topic, and which is supposedly intended to offer support, is apparently now equivalent of sexual assault.

ChicagoLiz wrote:
No one owes you sex. It is not essential for life. If you would like to be sexually active, pay a professional or figure out how to be someone that attracts people to you. Insisting that other people choosing not to have sex with you lowers your quality of life is not a good look.


Yes. Nobody owes sex to anyone else. Despite your best efforts to paint me as a predator, I do actually agree with that statement and have never said anything to the contrary. That was never my point.

Nobody has sexual relationships because they owe their partner sex. You are not with your partner because you owe him sex. My sisters are not with their husbands because they owe them sex. None of my co-workers, former classmates, friends, or acquaintances are with their partners because they are owed sex. The reason that every other adult I've ever known is with their partner is because they want to be. Because they find them attractive. Because they love them. So I'm getting seriously p***ed the f**k off with this strawman bulls**t that what I want is sex without consent!

Sex and relationships have come naturally to nearly every other adult human being I've ever known, while I have remained alone and wanted for decades. Counting only the adult period of my life, no woman has genuinely wanted to be with me in over a quarter of a century. So what is wrong with me? No person can remain single as long as I have unless there's something is something wrong with him, right?! Why am I unworthy of the love and affection that comes naturally for everyone else?! This is not normal.

And BTW, when I said "nearly every other adult human I've ever known", that is because of a grand total of only one exception. This is a man I knew back in the 90's. He exhibited signs that he was likely autistic. And he died of suicide, so what does that tell?! The man was tortured that he deliberately chose to end his life, but that clearly wasn't because he was deprived of anything essential for life!! !!

And just who the f**k do you think you are to presume to tell me what the quality of my own life is?! !!

Yes, being deprived of sex and intimacy for my entire life has negatively impacted my quality of life, and it isn't your f**king place to tell me otherwise. To be clear, however, that does not mean that anyone is required to provide me with sex against her will. And again, I never at any point said otherwise. You seem to be trapped in this black-and-white mentality that's deprived of any sense of nuance.

There is clear evidence that an annual salary below 60K USD does have negative impact on the quality of life in the US. However, that does not mean that any employer owes me a 60K salary. It can be argued that society has a responsivity to ensure all its members can meet a reasonable standard of living. Likewise, I would argue there is a general responsibility for society to combat the stigma surrounding neurodiversity and disability, including in the dating scene.

And for your suggestion to hire a prostitute: first of all, it's illegal and getting caught will get in deep trouble. Second, what makes you think I can even afford it?! A few years back, I got a membership card at a strip club which allowed me free entry. It costs 25USD for 2-3 minutes with a dancer. 15 minutes with a girl in the VIP room costs hundreds of dollars, and even then I didn't get any sex. And finally, it still won't make me feel any better knowing that a woman is only spending time with me because I'm paying her to.



Mikurotoro92
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05 Jul 2025, 4:22 pm

^life and dating are unfairly rigged against people with disabilities!! !

What other explanation is there?

The government and society do NOT want disabled people to fall in love, get married and have children so they deliberately rig the game in favor of neuro-typicals while screwing over neuro-divergents with the caveat of "if you get married you will lose your benefits!"

The question is...what possible reason would they have to do all of this?

It's a conspiracy!!



Nightwing82
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05 Jul 2025, 6:32 pm

I'd just like to point out that the kind of women who like to accuse me of thinking I'm owed sex almost always turn out to be the ones who scream bloody murder when men won't date them if they're over 40.



Mikurotoro92
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Yesterday, 1:27 am

Nightwing82 wrote:
I'd just like to point out that the kind of women who like to accuse me of thinking I'm owed sex almost always turn out to be the ones who scream bloody murder when men won't date them if they're over 40.


They are being hypocrites, plain & simple!! !